Don’t say we don’t help out. Valentine’s Day Ideas Broke Or Ballin’

We hate Valentine’s Day. It’s a fake holiday. And if you are such a shitty boyfriend that you can only get it together one day of the year, then you don’t deserve the hummer you’re hoping she gets you.

However, we did think of a few things that work on any day of the year, even this one.

Dinner Date

We’re all over this new spot that just opened in Yorkville called, MoRoCo Chocolat. It’s the most opulent, organic, chocolate haven ever to be created. MoRoCo is like the Tiffany’s of chocolate eateries. The meal menus are nothing to write home about, but the high tea service is over the top. You wanna get off easy and take your girl somewhere cool, this is your jam right here.

99 Yorkville Avenue. 416.961.2202

Best Gift For Her

We found this on the Cool Hunter and we drooled right away. It’s a plain looking ring made by artist Yoon Jun Yun, but with a twist because it leaves a message imprinted on the wearer’s finger. The samples say dorky stuff like, “marry me”, but we’d special order something funny. Like an inside joke. Or instead of “marry me”, we’d put Mrs. Blank. Just punch it up a bit. Either way, this is pretty high on the awwww chick meter.

You have to email and special order: yoonjunyun@gmail.com

Best Gift For Him

If you really really want to go all out, then get him a lap dance. From you. Jessica, an instructor at pole-dancing studio, Downtown Aradia Fitness is an expert in how to give him a lap dance and just generally be a sexy tease for your man on Valentine’s Day. Not for nothing, but we did something like this with a Blow Job Class through Come As You Are once, and it was marry-me level good for the men in our lives. P.s. it was a really fun day with all kinds of female bonding, funny stories and barrels of laughs. So it’s like a bonus round.

721 Queen St. West, Suite 202 416.901.2848

Cooking

Cooking is one of the best ways to do something for your lover. If you suck at cooking, you can order their favourite dinner, set the table, get a movie. Doesn’t take much to woo a hard-working woman, trust us. Or, you can learn to cook her favourite meal from her best friend/family member. OR, and this is a real special, you are the best guy ever kind of gift: you could take some cooking classes on the sly and then prepare it for her on the night of. George Brown has a whole bunch of great one-day classes that you can pay to learn.

For more info, give them a call at:  416-415-5000, ext. 2517

On The Cheap

If you don’t have much of a budget it’s hard for us to tell you what to do because no budget requires all kinds of imagination. The best gifts are moments. Creating a really good moment, is going to take a lot of personalization that we can’t give you here. But here’s a couple that we would love, tailored to our individual personalities of course.

Coupons

It’s an old one but a good one if you’re willing to go all the way with it. Get some good crd stock and make her some coupons saying things like, “Foot Massage”, and “Free Car Wash”. The thing about these cards is that she can use them whenever she wants. The proof is in the pudding so to speak, so follow through boys.

Mixtape

Oh the mixtape, how we love you for all occasions. Mixtapes are one of the ballin’ moves we pull around here all the time. You can make it super cheese or you can make it really funny. You can fill it with all the songs that you two have enjoyed together. Then put that sucker on while you make her dinner. After, you can put on the slow jam b-sides and have a bath and hit the sack. That’s if you choose the double disc option (which we recommend highly). She will keep it, gloat about it, and listen to it on the constant. You win! Hummers for everyone!

PINK MAFIA LOVE MIXTAPE From Us To You!

1. This Modern Love–Bloc Party, Silent Alarm
2. Once I Had A Love–Blondie, The Platinum Collection
3. Genius Of Love–Tom Tom Club, Tom Tom Club
4. Let’s Make Love–Cansei de Ser Sexy, Canei de Ser Sexy
5. I Need Your Love–The Rapture, Echoes
6. Between Love & Hate–The Strokes, Room On Fire
7. My Love For You–ESG, A South Bronx Story
8. Where Did Our Love Go?–Soft Cell (cover), The Very Best Of
9. Love My Way–The Psychedelic Furs, Forever Now
10. How Sweet It Is (To be Loved By You)–Marvin Gaye, Motown: The Classics
11. Your Ex-Lover Is Dead–Stars, Your Ex-Lover Is Dead
12. Still In Love Song–The Stills, Logic Will Break Your Heart
13. I Want Your Love–Chromatics, Night Drive
14. Love For Granted–Phoenix, Alphabetical