Mickey Rourke is My Valentine

Today is the day that all the boyfriends in the world drop their shitty attitudes, tighten up their game, and head towards their ladies doors. And with the help of Hallmark, and some other cheesy cliche’s, they try and make your heart flutter. PUKE. We say drop your shitty boyfriends and go on your own dream date. YEAH EVEN IF ITS IN YOUR MIND. It’s better than putting up with a fake boyfriend. So feel free to use my dream date if you aren’t creative enough to come up with your own.
Mickey Rourke. A real man. And in this case, the definition of a real man is: a man who’s balls have shrunk due to the fact that he’s on steroids but he stills walks around like ‘grrrrrrrrrrr, my balls’. You know that attitude? Well i enjoy it. And Mickey Rourke basically invented it. Have you seen The Wrestler? Come on, dream-boat. On our date, Mickey would take me down to  the candy store and he’d buy me as many sour candies as I wanted. And then we’d swing by the LCBO and buy a liter of vodka. Yeah not a 26, Mickey only drinks liters. We’d stick two straws in the bottle and let the alcohol take us to our next date destination: naked wrestling. And then we’d both get each others names tattooed on our bodies and live happily every after.

HAPPY VALENTINES.
call me if you’re interested Mickey