I survived a Classified concert; here is my story.

I’m all the way in the Manitoba for a summer of fun. My first adventure out in Winnipeg city was a rap concert. I have a weakness for rap, all of it. The good, the bad, the white, the black I want it all. This may also have to do with the fact that I think gangsters are hot. So let me begin, Classified is hot.

Me and my dear friend made our way to The Pyramid around 10:30 to get our rap on. Three of our other friends missed out on the occasion because Ticketmaster said it was sold out, and  The Pyramid said they would not be selling any more tickets at the door. ALL LIES. The crowd was not full and they were selling tickets at the door. So lame. We got over missing our friends, and ordered a drink at the bar to begin to set the tone.

A Winnipeg local rap duo named Dead Indians took to the stage to pump us up. Unfortunately they didn’t. So we just waited around in anticipation for the real deal. A young man took to the stage next. Looking fresh in his white tall tee and LA hat. I say yay it’s Classified. My friend is convinced it’s not him. I’m mezmorised by his rap and dance hard to who I think is Classified. PHYSC it was Jake Boyd, Classified’s younger brother. Ahh yeah he set the tone for the night. The crowd really enjoyed him and everyone’s hand was up in the air! GANGSTA STYLE. After one more opening act Classified took to the stage. He raped for more than an hour. I’m impressed, my friend’s impressed, the crowds impressed. He brought the house down. He is evidently a skilled veteran with 11 albums under his belt. His most recent album, Self Explanatory is his first Major Label release put out with the support  of  Sony BMG. His new song, Is Anybody Listening?, is all over the radio in Winnipeg and I sang along line for line when he finally busted out his new hit single.

The crowd’s energy was high and Classified brought us even higher, literally and metaphorically. The glow from weed was thick in the air and Classified passed around a joint and swigged a couple beers. We were all celebrating his first Friday in Winnipeg together. The concert was a success and now I’m a bigger fan. But that doesn’t mean that the concert was easy to survive. Here is what you need to know if you plan to hit up any of his shows in Ontario or the East Coast.

Tip One: Smoke weed everyday (the whole crowd was high, you might as well join in.)

Tip Two:  Keep your eyes closed (the crowd was a group of people that I would never want to be caught dead hanging out with. I’m talking about boys in Billabong clothes, boys in backwards Billabong hats, girls in Billabong clothes, girls in frontwards Billabong hats. I wasn’t impressed. And standing around with all the biggest losers that you never talked to in high school is enough to make you kick someone. Here’s the truth I ended up kicking someone.)

Tip Three: Know the national anthem (Classified performed a remix version of Oh Canada. Gotta love Canadian pride)

Tip Four: Make out (People jumped on stage, crowd surfed and acted rowdy. But as soon as two girls got up on stage,  the boys started wanting female on female make-out. This is so lame, and makes me want Classified to grow up. )

All in all I enjoyed myself. And will continue to pretend that i’m a rap superstar diva until i’m too old to keep pretending. I think Classified could be huge in the Canadian rap scene, but he REALLY REALLy needs to get a new type of fan. They were bad enough to make me not want to go to another Classified show.