Hip Guide To St. John’s

16 Apr 2010

Making the trek out to St. John’s for the 39h Juno Awards celebration? Us too. And cause we are all about getting on things before they get on us, we teamed up with ION Magazine to bring you a guide to what’s good in St. John’s. If you’re traveling to the Right Coast, you can pick up a printed on on the other end, or you can just use this handy guide over the weekend too. Don’t say we don’t care, cause clearly we do!

ION Magazine and Pink Mafia are proud to present the St John’s Hip Guide. As the Canadian music industry descends on St. John’s for the Junos, it’s likely they’re going to feel lost and confused as they’re in unfamiliar territory… much like how they’ve reacted to that thing called the Internet. In here you will find all the facts and information you need to help you survive your visit to The Rock. In addition, we’ve given you a quick taste of some of the rising musical talent this great country has to offer.

Remember to drink Screech responsibly (as if that’s possible!) and enjoy your stay.

FUN FACTS

We all know St. John’s is home to the Juno Awards, but here are some things you may not have known about The Rock.

Over a thousand years ago L’anse aux Meadows was briefly settled by the Vikings. After much discussion between the two leaders, Leif Ericson and Brett Favre, they took the group to Minnesota.

The East Coast’s answer to Pamela Anderson, “superstar” erotica actress Shannon Tweed was born in St. John’s. Who is she? Playmate of the Year 1982! Gene Simmons’ partner! Keep up!

There is no ragweed pollen on the island of Newfoundland. The one antihistamine salesman the province did have went broke and now his kids call him “weekend daddy.”

There are no snakes, skunks, porcupines or groundhogs on the island of Newfoundland, which makes it difficult to play roadkill bingo while on the highway.

If you want to take a souvenir home from St John’s, make it a moose. The place is overrun with them. So much so, the local government is in the process of implementing a full-scale moose management plan. All 100 000 of the moose in Newfoundland are descended from a pair brought there in 1904. They are so inbred that they now all have flying squirrels for best buddies.

Places in Newfoundland have funny names. Come-by-Chance, Blow-me-Down, Dildo and the one that took six town meetings to devise, Nameless Cove.

Visitors to St. John’s should remember that Newfoundland night clubs don’t serve any drink other than Screech. According to statistics, Newfies also drink at least one with every meal including breakfast.

The Mayflower stopped in eastern Newfoundland in 1620 but set sail pretty quickly after they couldn’t handle the rum.

Words: Sinead Keane & Trevor Risk

New[fie] Slang

97 percent of the population of Newfoundland speak English, but don’t expect to understand a word they say.

If a Newfie calls you an “angishore,” you have permission to slap them for referring to you as a weak, miserable person. The same goes for “chucklehead,” “scut” or “slieveen.” But don’t fret if you hear someone say faggot, they are referring to a pile of half dried fish, not you. Got it?

Try remembering this after a hard night on the streets of St John’s (you know those Newfie’s can drink you under the table): “My ‘ead feels right logy after the ‘time’ last night.” English Translation: “My head is banging, I am hot and have the shakes, get me some pills for my hangover, NOW!”

Sometimes booze and salt are measured in “hogsheads”, which is approximately fifty imperial gallons. It is never a good idea to order this much of either item.

Here’s one for all you slutty groupies out there. Fall on your knees if some hot young thang asks for a “douse.” In Newfoundland, this means to give a quick blow.

Just like Canadians are known for saying “eh” at the end of sentences, Newfies opt for “bye.” Example, ”idn’t dat fulish bye.” English translation: “Isn’t that foolish,eh?”

If one of those drunken Newfie’s gets all handsy at the bar, a safe bet is to insult them and their mother simultaneously. Try this one: “Ya gat da face only a mutter could luv.”

And finally, a personal favourite, “You gotta face on ya like a hen’s arsehole in the nort west winds.” English translation: “You ain’t looking too happy.”

About Screech

Sometime in the 18th century the Newfies pulled a blockbuster trade with Jamaica. The Northern party received an intense rum and in return the Jamaicans got salt fish and some conditional draft picks. Three hundred-ish years later it’s pretty clear that Newfoundland got themselves a franchise player. Named after the exclamation from a visiting American soldier who slugged it back without thinking twice. Today Screech will no longer blind the drinker but it may make Rex Murphy look like Rick Mercer. So let’s all molest codfish and long may your big jig draw!

PLACES TO EAT/DRINK

PUBS AND CLUBS

Rob Roy

391 Duckworth Street

(709) 739-6270

Established in 1977.

Konfusion

6 George Street

(709) 753-4884

The hottest dance bar on George.

Majestic

390 Duckworth Street

(709) 722-8642

Premier event venue.

Sirens

36 George Street

(709) 753-7007

Girls, girls, girls. Exotic dancers.

Peddler’s on George

312-314 Water Street

(709) 739-9180

Same people that own The Martini Bar, both worth a visit.

Club V

15 George Street

The newest nightclub in St. John’s.

Liquid Night Club

186 Water Street

(709) 754-5455

Best spot to carry on late into the night.

Turkey Joe’s

7 George Street

(709) 722-5757

Their experienced and courteous staff invite you to stop by for a cold one.

Greensleeves

14 George Street

(709) 579-1070

Good times, good friends,

good music.

EATS

Blue On The Water Hotel & Restaurant

319 Water Street

(709) 754-BLUE (2583)

Fresh seafood. Modern atmosphere.

Folly

5 Bates Hill

(709) 738-0008

Open until 3 or later.Best burgers in town + décor includes local graffiti art.

Ches’s Fish & Chips

9 Freshwater Road

(709) 726-3434

A St. John’s staple.

Celtic Hearth

298 Water Street

(709) 576-2880

Open until 3 or later, after 5 am they serve breakfast, including toutons!

Pi

10 Kings Road

(709) 726-2000

Voted best pizza.

Stoggers

77 Harvey Road

(709) 579-STOG (7864)

Apparently they make huge pizzas.

Sugar Mama’s Cupcake Laine

(709) 728-4188

Yes, they deliver, but only by the dozen.

Basho

283 Duckworth Street

(709) 576-4600

Sushi.

India Gate

286 Duckworth Street

(709) 753-6006

Indian.

The Sprout

364 Duckworth Street

(709) 579-5485

Vegetarian. Beer and wine only.

COMPUTER REPAIR

Boom It

(709) 739-8777

286 Torbay Road

Or if you’re a Mac user, Apple has a 4-hour delivery response for users in St. John’s.

TATTOOS

St John’s Ink

15 Lemarchant Road

(709) 579-4655

OTHER INFO TO KNOW

Lawlor’s Taxi Service

(709) 726-7373

Co-Op Taxi

(709) 753-5100

City Wide Taxi

(709) 722-7777

LIQUOR STORES

260 Blackmarsh Road

(709) 724-1240

Sun-Mon 10:00 am – 10:00 pm

43 Kelsey Drive

(709) 724-2252

Sun 10:00 am – 6:00 pm

Mon-Sat 10:00 am – 10:00 pm

45 Ropewalk Lane

(709) 724-1265

Sun-Mon 10:00 am – 10:00 pm

123-125 New Gower Street

(709) 724-1600

Sun Noon – 5:00 pm

Mon-Wed 10:00 am – 6:00 pm

Thurs-Fri 10:00 am – 9:00 pm

Sat 10:00 am – 6:00 pm

*St. John’s Tip: Liquor stores stay open till 10PM/11PM but you can buy beer at corner stores and gas stations until 3AM

WALK IN CLINIC

Blackmarsh Family Care Center

260 Blackmarsh Rd

(709) 576-6555

Let’s hope you don’t need this info.

HOST HOTELS

Battery Hotel And Conference Centre

(Downtown on Signall Hill)

(709) 576-0040

Extended Stay Deluxe Hotel – St. John’s – Downtown

(Central – 12 min walk from

Delta St. John’s)

(709) 754-7888/1-866-373-7888

Ramada St. John’s

(West End – 10 min from downtown)

(709) 722-9330

The Holiday Inn St. John’s

(Central- 7 min from downtown)

(709) 722-0506