Movie Review: Eclipse

In the third installment of the Twilight Saga, Bella and Edward spend a lot of time discussing their pending engagement, and Bella’s transformation to vampiredom. Victoria is still trying to find and kill Bella, but this time she has a plan: create an army of newborn vampires to wipe out the Cullens so she has nothing preventing her from her end goal. Blah blah blah. Same old story! (Sorry Twihards!)

The Good:

Ok, yes, I think the whole Twilight thing is lame, well, the movies anyway. I will admit to reading the first two books and not being able to put them down (don’t tell anyone, though). I haven’t yet read Eclipse, so this review is completing based on the movie which I like. I usually don’t read books before seeing the movies based on them because I’m pretty much guaranteed to favour the book in the end. So anyway, all I can really say in favour of the movie is that Robert Pattinson is hot and I hope to sleep with him in the near future, as do most other women on the planet. And as most Twilight rejectors tend to say, I loved him in Harry Potter first. I’m from the HP generation, so I’m just predisposed to loathe all things Twilight. Oh, but I will say, we get to see a lot more of Jackson Rathbone in the movie, too, which is never a bad thing. Yum! Yum!

The Bad:

It was LAME. I found myself laughing, not at the jokes, but at the overly exaggerated, mushy kissing/love scenes. I’m sorry, but no one loves anyone that much, and if you do, it’s sick and twisted and you need some therapy. Yes, I’m a pessimist, but seriously, it’s just too much, not to mention the sick idea of love it’s putting in the heads of an entire generation of young girls. No, you shouldn’t have to change for a man, and no, Edward doesn’t want her to, she wants to become a vampire, but it doesn’t matter. You be yourselves girls! Never change for anyone, even if he is a sexy, perfect specimen of a man/vampire. No one’s worth it!

Overall, I give the movie a 2/5 for sheer lameness. It was about 2+ hours, and I still left the theatre feeling like it was an empty story. I don’t think any of the movies have captured the books very well, but they’re not very well written anyway. Watch at your own risk, kids. I’d only see if it I was 12 and obsessed with vampires that weren’t of the horny, True Blood kind.