Sex Etiquette…Period Sex 101 (If that’s what you’re into)

If there is one certitude in a single gal’s life, it’s this: just when you are at your horniest, your most hairless and groomed, with the perfect specimen of man offering his goodness to you on a silver platter, Aunt Flo is gonna arrive and eff shit up for you. It seems nothing gives Mother Nature more jollies than blocking you from having sex, and for most women the easiest way to do this is to drop a red bomb.

While the men I mess with generally tend to be more of the “if you get one drop of that disgustingness anywhere near me” variety, there are quite a lot of dudes out there who are more than happy to get down n dirty with you while auntie’s in town.  It’s not for the faint of heart though, so if you’re considering crossing the red line for the first time, take note of these tips:

1. Towels are your friend

As you no doubt learned back in the day when you first started menstruating, that ish stains like a motherfcuker. So before you get to it, be sure to lay towels (preferably dark ones that you’re not too attached to) over whatever surface you’re getting ready to use. Trust me – nothing will make you regret putting the words “period” and “sex” together more than having to scrub that ish out of your favourite sheets.

Oh and FYI – if you do run into a little leakage, soaking in hot water immediately (as in before it dries) helps. Oxy Clean works too. But that’s gonna kinda kill your vibe.

2. Discreet disposal of sanitary products is a must

I’m a little upset that I even have to tell you this, but I’ve heard too many horror stories to leave it out. Now ladies, listen to me closely here. I know that the dude already knows you’re on your period, but that does not make it okay for you to remove your sanitary napkin in front of him or show up with a visible string. That’s a vibe-killer ladies. Don’t do that.

3. Consider shower sex

Back when we were pre-teens learning what every girl needs to know we were taught that your period doesn’t come out if you are in water. I’m sure we’ve all learned the hard way that that is not true. But making a move to the shower makes period-sex cleanup a snap…and really what gal wants to be cleaning right after getting her back blown out? Not I!

4. Yes you can get pregnant

Don’t think that menstrual sex means you can skip out on contraception. You can get pregnant and STD’s can be spread while you’re on your period. So wrap everything up as your normally would.

5. Explore other orifices. Literally.

If sex while Aunt Flo is visiting still seems too icky to you (as it does to me) but you still want to get your carnal groove on, now is a good time to step up your handjob game,  give a good old-fashioned BJ or if you must have a peg-in-a-whole experience, give anal a shot. It can’t be any messier than the alternative, right?