Top 10: Horror Movies of the Last Decade

So this started out as a typical Top 5, but I just could NOT condense the list. I’m definitely a film snob, and I don’t think that many good films are made these days because, let’s face it, most are re-makes from older films, shitty American re-makes of amazing foreign films, or even shittier sequels (Saw 7.432, anyone?). I will say, though, that a f*cktonne of good horror movies have come out in the last 10 years, and I honestly didn’t even realize it until I start compiling this list. Normally, when you think of horror, the cliche Rings, Grudges and Paranormal Activities pop into your head, but when you really think of some of the best films that are made, the most psychologically and visually stimulating, they also tend to be part of the horror genre, and they couldn’t be more drastically different from the former.

Anyway, Halloween is coming (duh) and there will definitely be a Top 5 Halloween movies, but celebrating a bit early, and giving you ideas for date night (Scary movies -> Cuddling -> -> Making Out -> Secs) here are our Top 10 Horror Movies of the Last Decade, mah babies:

10. REC

This is a Spanish movie, and it’s scary as hell. These folks have a knack for making f*cking creepy as shit films (See: El Orfanato) and this is one of the first (actually good) films to utilize the “cinema verite” style (basically meaning that it’s shot like a documentary. Think along the lines of Cloverfield or The Blair Witch Project). Less than a year after it’s release, the United States film industry (that we all know takes a huge flaming shit on anything good coming out of Europe/Asia/anywhere but here) decided to make a re-make of it. This shit stain of a film was called Quarantine, and if you haven’t seen it, for the love of god, and all that is holy, don’t.

9. Funny Games

So, this is a re-make, yes, but since it was directed by the same dude who made the original (Michael Heneke) it’s acceptable in my opinion, especially since it’s pretty much a shot for shot of the first one (except not in German). Michael Pitt and Brady Corbet are two cuckoo cuckoo heads that pray on rich folks in a some rural cottage-y area probably in Connecticut, but I honestly don’t remember. Anyway, although the film isn’t shot in a way that makes you feel like you “part” of the actions taking place, the fact that Michael Pitt keeps talking at you through the screen and commenting on how you’re watching all the f*cked up shit taking place, definitely keeps you focused on the fact that whether you’re involved in the actions or not, you’re still bloody well enmeshed in the whole thing. The film is a commentary on violence in the media and how it’s numbed us a society, etc, etc, etc. Watch it, and you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

8. 28 Days Later

I’m pretty sure that everyone has seen this movie, and if you haven’t, no, it’s not a zombie movie. Basically, a group of animal welfare activists break into a science lab and try to free a bunch of chimps that have been given a virus that makes them super-pissed and crave man-flesh, and that’s being kind. So in turn, the chimps do escape, after f*cking shit up at the lab, and eating the activists’ faces, and so begins the destruction of jolly old England. Sounds lame as hell, but this movie is awesome. Cillian Murphy is sexy and after reading a few additions of The Walking Dead (which is soon to be one of the most awesome shows on television) one can plainly see how some of the inspiration behind it came from this movie.

7. The Descent

Alright, so I really didn’t want to put this movie on the list, but after talking about it with some of my fellow film buff friends, I’ve been converted to the dark side. I GUESS this movie was alright, and only because I have severe issues with claustrophobia, which the film shoves up your ass and through your mouth from start to finish, and because the leading cast is ALL strong, smart, ass-kicking women. Basically, the movie is about a group of best friends who, being the thrill-seekers they are, go off to a secluded cave to hike and climb and do whatever the hell else you WOULD do in one of those. And guess what! If you thought that there were strange, vampire-like, hairless, glowey-eyed beasts down there, then you win!

6. American Psycho

This movie came out in 2000 and is based on a totally awesome book. It also features Christian Bale giving birth to some of the greatest facial expressions in film history. I honestly don’t think this movie is THAT scary, but it’s worth the watch just for the awesome lines, and yes, Christian Bale‘s face. I’m pretty sure everybody on the planet has scene this film so let get on with the list.

5. Saw

Alright, so I’ve lost count of how many Saw movies are out there nowadays. I know I’ve only seen the first three, myself, and they stopped being good after Saw I, so mostly I just don’t give a shit. Anyway, the this movie was awesome. It came out at a time when we were in desperate need of good American horror film (it was around the same time as the re-make of The Hills Have Eyes [which is just a brief explanation of where the horror genre was at at the time]) and it’s a fantastic psychological thriller. Plus, Cary Elwes is in it, and I’ve wanted to bang him since I saw The Princess Bride and Robin Hood; Men In Tights as a kid.

4. The Mist

Four words: Thomas Mother F*cking Jane. This movie is based on the book of the same name by Stephen King, and although it’s full of bizarre flying creatures, on the ground and in the sky, that live in a strange mist that’s has taken over in a small town in Maine, killing everything in sight, it’s actually f*cking fantastic. Oh, and it has one of my favourite endings of any movie ever.

3. The Signal

This is one of the most original movies I’ve seen in a long time, and although there are certain aspects of it that HAVE been done before (because let’s face it, EVERYTHING has been done before in SOME respect) it takes on said concepts in a totally fresh and unique way. The general idea of the film is that a mysterious radio signal takes over all of the radios/tvs/phones in a small city, which causes everyone who hears it to either go batshit crazy. This is definitely one of the more gory films on the list, so if you enjoy that sort of thing, you’ll really like this movie.

2. The Devil’s Rejects

Yes, this is a sequel (to House of 1000 Corpses, to be exact) but here’s the shocker (lol) it’s actually better than the first movie! Well, they’re both pretty fantastic, but The Devil’s Rejects is absolutely amazing, and it also stars Bill Moseley, who I love, and you can also see in Repo; The Genetic Opera (also an awesome gory/horror/musical). Rob Zombie destroyed the Halloween movies with his re-makes, but before he turned to making shit piles for movies, he was an original director who made good film, and this was definitely his masterpiece.

1. Let the Right One In

I’m sure many people would have put The Devil’s Rejects as #1 on this list, but I’m rebelling and put my personal favourite as the top film. This Swedish film is probably the ONLY good thing to do with vampires to come out in the last 10 years, and has a completely unique perspective on the genre. It’s an absolutely beautiful story about a boy and girl. She’s a vampire, he’s not, but they develop a bond, regardless. It’s really depressing at times, and if you understand the ending, it’s a little bit more depressing, but it’s still absolutely fantastic, and it also includes it’s fair share of gore, which is never a bad thing in my eyes. Oh, and lest we forget the absolutely abominable American re-make that’s coming out soon called Let Me In. I’m not even going to try explain that one at all, I’m just forewarning you all to see the original, and if you love it, do not burn your eye sacs out with anything to do with the American version.