MOVIE TIME: A week in review

Carnage
Director: Roman Polanski
Starring:Jodie Foster, John C. Riley, Christopher Waltz, & Kate WinsletSay what you will about Roman Polanski, but the man is a brilliant film maker, and Carnage does anything but fall short.  Ive only seen a handful of Polanski’s films, and can truly say that ‘Carnage’ was the most intense.  Quickly, ‘Carnage’ is about two couples, Penelope (Jodie Foster) & Michael (John C. Riley), and Nancy (Kate Winslet) & Alan (Christopher Waltz) who try to handle a physically abusive situation that occurred between their boys, in a respectful manner.

The film opens with Nancy and Alan in Penelope and Michael’s condo discussing the situation and right away you can feel the constriction of the condo, and the phoniness between each couple. It doesn’t take long for you to figure out how fake each character is being, and the things they do and say that is really getting under the others’ skin.  As soon as each parent starts to talk about how the others child was raised and maybe it is because of bad parenting they turned out the way they did, the gloves start to come off, and when whiskey is introduced, terror ensues.  Every time Nancy and Alan try to leave the condo, and basically say “FUCK OFF” to Penelope and Michael, you almost feel a sigh of relief that they are getting out of this train wreck, but because of big egos, and curiosity they get sucked back in, and ‘Carnage’ becomes a claustrophobic’s nightmare.

The acting in this film is beautiful; every actor does and terrific job..almost too good. This is who they are IRL right? Christopher Waltz does a amazing job being an rude, arrogant  lawyer, and he’s just so good at making you disgusted by him when he’s eating; it’s so dirty and unpleasant to watch, you can feel the hate for his character boil inside. Alan loves to see how far he can push Penelope, who is middle ages woman with Irish roots writing a book about Africa *sigh* too easy.  Jodie Foster is nothing shy of great, and I think she was destined to play this role..she’s your mum when your mum is being her most annoying and can’t stop yelling your name “Evan, Evan, Evan, EVAN! EVAN!” so good.

What is their to say about John C. Riley? I can’t name anything I’ve seen that he wasn’t good in…nothing that he was even less than average, the man is P E R F E C T I O N. Riley’s character, Michael, is the same character he plays in everything else..dumb, goofy, and can get psychotic if you push him too far.  Best John C Riley moments are defiantly when he bonds with Waltz, to make fun of his wife…especially when she is crying.

LOL @ Kate Winslet. Pretty quiet, probably Xanax’d out, or just bored of the whole situation at first, her character, Nancy, doesn’t get a chance to shine until she a few drinks deep.  I know Kate is a great actress, but really, she was completely drunk acting drunk right? Too real too good.
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Even though the film is just shy of an 90 minutes, the film progresses so fast you would swear it was half an hour. All you wanted to see was more more more and how far these horrible people could go, tearing each other apart, and at the same time themselves.  ‘Carnage’ is brilliant, especially the way your body feels throughout.

Four Lions
Director: Christopher Morris
Starring: Rayvan Novak, Nigel Lindsay, Riz Ahmed & Adeel Akhtar

‘Four Lions’ is the type of film that probably could never see funding from an American firm/person/organisation/company due to its extremely offensive material; Four British jihadists are set to carry out an act of terror in their homeland, the only problem being that they are so fucking stupid, they can’t seem to do ANYTHING right. Don’t get me wrong,‘Four Lions’ is hysterical, but I wasn’t expecting for it to get as real as it did..good job Christopher Morris, my heart sank a few times, and I couldn’t help yell WTF at the tv several times.

Don’t be mistaken, as much as these bros are completely useless, they are 90% devoted to the cause…even if they have no idea really what that cause is. When  Omar and Waj are ‘selected’ to go to terrorist training camp in Afghanistan, you understand that things might be started to get intense, but shortly after their arrival, they seriously can’t do anything right, and not long after their arrival they are back in the UK. Shout of to Barry..the white jihadist who’s more determined to cause terror then the others.  Don’t fuck with Barry or he’ll blow you up without hesitation.

The end of the movie turn grim when you realize that they are actually going to go through with a terror attack on a relatively large scale. The reality of their shenanigans is what really brings this movie together, and showing you the importance of friendship.

The Adventures of Tintin
Director: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Jamie Bell, Andy Serkis, Daniel Craig, Simon Pegg & Nick Frost

Hands down, Steven Spielberg’s BEST work to date. I am a huge Tintin fan, have watched every episode once every 2 years since I was 14, so when I first heard that this movie was being made I, I , I *jizzzzzzz.  What really blew me away was the CGI/ Motion Capture; the water looked real, the camel looked lifelike, basically this film set the bar for anyone even considering using CGI effects in their next film. Not really being too keen on 3D tech, Spielberg did a great job, not just making the film looked layered, it actually pulled you in for an intense ride.

Bare with me, I had to get so HIGH for this movie ( D U H) so recalling what happened is gonna be a challenge :/ The opening scene is great, where their is a build up to see what Jamie Bell’s Tintin will look like, which does not disappoint, and the ode the Hergé was extremely special. There is never a dull moment in ‘Tintin’; the beginning of the film opens with a completely separate case for Tintin but mostly the detectives Thompson & Thompson, and their is the case of the Unicorn.  The Unicorn is introduced very early on, and without having an excellent eye for fine craftsmanship, Tintin would never have stumbled upon this case.

I love that through the almost 2 hour movie, it’s impossible to get bored because their is so much going on, either from the settings Tintin finds himself in, or the characters.  Standout characters: Captain Haddock and Snowy. Andy Serkis plays the Captain perfectly.  I don’t how they figured out to cast him, but he’s exatly how I pictured the Captain, if he was to come to life (or at least as close as he can get).  Kind of annoying when Tintin gets all uptight about the Captain’s drinking..just let the man drink! Whatever, regardless of how much Tintin says mildly offensive (but rightfully so) things to the Captain about his drinking problem, he still finds away to sneak in a blackout drunk.  Oh, and to everyone who has a problem with getting blackout drunk, the Captain would not have been able to remember the Haddock family secret without being blackout himself :P The Captain truly is a a Captain, and no matter what will stay true to who he really is.

Ohhhhh Snowy, you perfect perfect perfect little white dog. Sure, it’s a dog, so sometimes he’s a little dumb, but for the most part, Snowy is the only partner Tintin needs. Basically Tintin who never be the detective he is without Snowy. He’s the smartest dog I know, and good job writers on not making this little dog, the annoying little shit it could have been. I hope Tintin stays single forever and only stays with Snowy, or wait that happened right? MORE TINTIN@!

I want to extended a massive thanks to Steven Spielberg for making this film, and not putting in a love story between Tintin and some floozy.  It made the entire adventure, well an adventure. Till the next adventure Tintin..I will be holding my breath.