Ask Mica: No Money Mo’ Problems

Dear Mica,

My girlfriend of a few years is super awesome; she has a full time job, volunteers, hangs out with me and my friends, knits, reads and is a great in the bedroom. The only problem is that she and I are saving to get a place together and she can’t seem to save money. At all. Which would make sense if she didn’t have a job or had a lot of expenses but she doesn’t. We both still live at home, she doesn’t shop much and her dad still pays for a lot of things for her. I’m living on my own, pay for myself and still manage to sock away a few hundred for a deposit every month. What do I do to knock some sense into her?!

No Money Honey

Dear NMH,

The first half of that question read like a personals ad. Very impressive! Congrats on wrangling in a lady who seems to have it going on. That said, when couples start to talk joining forces things can get a little hairy. Money is a major cause of tension in many relationships, especially when things are getting more serious.

I’d recommend sitting her down and asking her where she’s spending all of her money. It may seem a little gauche, and she may not react well, but you need to make it clear to her that if you’re living together and you’re dependant on each other to pitch in for rent, groceries, internet etc, then you have some right to inquire. Maybe it’s her pack ‘o smokes a day habit? Or her daily sushi outing with her work friends? Since you can’t usually spend every single moment of the day with your significant other, it’s quite possible that it’s things like that which are eating at her wallet.

Be open and honest, and avoid being judgemental. Talk to her about a deadline for you guys to save enough money and find a place, that way it’s something you can both work towards, rather than her feeling weak and you feeling resentful.

Good luck with this one!

(And if you’re looking for places, check out mapitat.com for all of the craigslist and kijiji listings in one place)

email askmica@pinkmafia.ca with your daily troubles.