Entertaining Under The Influence… Eating Smoke

Shit’s crazy. People eating faces. Olympians “accidentally” eating special baked goods. My “aunt” told me she was going to make weed brownies with the weed her strange family member had gifted over the Canada Day weekend (described as a joint and a “marijauna bud”.) More accurately, she told me I couldn’t have any because, “I’m going to make brownies and we’re going to get stupid!” So yeah, THC is an increasingly acceptable way to de-stress** and unwind. I am pro all the  horticultural and scientific arts associated with pot and the sometimes laughs that go with ‘em.  And let’s say you have a totally legal prescription and have been checking out the trailer for Birdemic because this hot guy wants to wants to watch it with you but errrgh, may I suggest a little chocolatey treat?

As if Rhianna rolling on a bald guys head at Coachella wasn’t enough to convince you everyone is offically merp on the whole front. As in, few fucks are given. So if you don’t want your dank bud sticking to some bald guy’s shiny greasy head or you’re one of those people who cares about your lungs, you can also choose to eat your smoke. In Compassion Clubs these days you can get anything from alcohol tinctures to fleur de sel caramels to gummy bears in perfectly measured doses. If you’re looking for your own classier Stoner’s Ball check out this wicked article from July’s GQ with a menu (two drinks!) for a three course meal which I could never even dream of finishing cooking soberly.  For beginners though, here is a recipe for the simplest weed oil possible. It’s pretty hard to screw up unless you smoke straight while you’re waiting.

If you prefer your brain unstimulated by substances (but you don’t mind some sugar and chocolate) here is the best recipe for brownies, seriously ever. Shhhhhh.

How to Make Weed Oil (For Edibles)

Ok. First you need a brownie recipe that uses vegetable or canola or light coloured oil as it’s main fat. Butter is hard and for the patient. Save it. You want to lick the batter and get frenched anyway. This also gives you the option of being vegan, gluten-free or whatever you’re doing right now.

You will need:

-a recipe or boxed mix with it’s main fat as oil
-0.3g weed per brownie minimum (buy an eighth (4 grams) of shake or shit for cheap, whatever)
-pot
-thermometer (candy thermometers are perfect)

Check out your recipe. Make sure you have everything. Cool.

So measure out whatever amount of oil is specified PLUS  one extra tbsp of oil and all the weed (3-4 gr is best). Heat it all over medium high heat uncovered and place the thermometer in the oil. Allow the oil to reach 350 Fahrenheit. The weed will have effectively been fried and will be brown in colour. Keep the weed at 350 for 15 minutes and allow to cool for another 15 or as long as you’d like (the longer the stronger). Bake it into a recipe. I recommend an extra tbsp of cocoa in brownies from a mix just to make it gorgeous.

Ok? Ladies? Don’t go too hard, this is a full body high and your brain will be dumb for, like, a full day.

ALSO, Expert Tip: Make a “square” batch of clean brownies for party poopers and to feed your munchies.

Note: Do not eat all your weed because you are hungry.  You will get so sad and probably will vomit.

**scream that “Call Me Maybe” shit in the car- for the ten millionth time

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