I am a night owl, so I have often had a hard time mustering up the motivation to do menial but necessary life tasks like grocery shopping until about midnight. There are at least two enormous 24-hour grocery stores less than a five-minute drive from my house, so it is a bad habit that I have had an easy time maintaining.

It’s hot. Like stick to your chair seat, sweat through your shorts, run to the bathroom and hope they have a hand dryer hot. I have lived a very sheltered and privileged life full of central air and easy pool access. But now it’s just me and the fan. My first fan. It’s a fancy fan. It has a remote. Sometimes it blows my stuff around but it’s okay; it’s only jokin’. But when fans can’t cut it and you’ve taken a cold shower and stuck your head in the freezer, sometimes you need to eat something cold.

Opposing urban legends, alcohol actually lowers your body temperature (rendering that flask of SoCo my Dad keeps in his ski jacket for “long chair rides” useless) and can technically cool you down, but you can’t serve beer for dessert and I stick to a strict 3 margaritas maximum for myself. So here are three cold options (in crescendoing level of difficulty) for the cook who has nothing but a magic bullet and a kitchen they can’t hold their arms up in.

I kind of have problems with food blogs. But mostly food bloggers. I really couldn’t give less of a shit that you ate some fancy shiz at a fancy restaurant, mostly because you just ruined the whole experience for the rest of the world by taking pictures. Some video came out saying “If you didn’t tweet it you didn’t eat it’’. And I wonder, do people actually do this? I’ll bitch slap that camera out of your hands so hard it would hit a wall and boomerang back into your fish taco filled faced.

Doesn’t everyone enjoy a nice little treat sometimes?  For those of us “calorie-counting” and conscious of trying to be gluten free but still would like to indulge that sweet tooth, fear not!  A bakery has opened up on Queen East (in the Beaches) that takes care of it all.  Introducing Tori’s Bakeshop, an eat-in all organic vegan café and bakery (2188 Queen St. E., 647-350-6500, torisbakeshop.ca), opened by namesake Victoria Vaccher.

Baking is not for pussies. Baking is actually really therapeutic and fun to give as a gift. And you can give cookies for any reason; I give them to my mom when she complains there’s nothing healthy to eat when she wants a snack in the afternoon, to my Dad for father’s day, to my friends for BBQ’s, nothing beats giving cookies. Nothing.

Here’s a really healthy recipe for some good organic cookies. It only takes 30 minutes to stir, and bake and voila-you’re done. I like to put this song on while I’m mixing, I find it really gets me in the mood

10 Top Gun Anthem

1 cup whole wheat flour

1.5 cups flake rolled oats

1/2 tsp naking soda

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 tbsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1/2 cup honey

1/2 cup oil (olive or canola)

1 tbsp molasses (or brown sugar)

1 egg

1tsp vanilla

1/2 cup rasins

1/2 cup walnuts

Pre heat the over to 350 degrees. Spray cookie sheet with oil or lay down parchment paper. mix the wet ingredients together and in a separate bowl, the dry, then mix together. Place tablespoon amount for each cooking in rows on the sheet and bake in the over for 15-20 minutes or until the cookies are brown.

School’s back, it’s frosh week. If you’re new to Toronto, chances are you’ll be overwhelmed by the choices the city has to offer. We’re thinkin’ about you here at Pink Mafia, so we threw together a guide to make your first year more enjoyable.

Click here for a bigger version of the map.

Area 1 (blue on map):
Spadina to Queens Park/Bloor to College

Residences:
-UofT: Wilson Hall: 45 Wilcocks Ave
-UofT: Westmore Hall: 21 Classic Ave
-UofT: 45 Wilcocks
-UofT: Innis College Residence: 111 St. George St
-UofT: University College Residence: Heart of St. George Campus
-UofT: Woodsworth: St. George & Bloor

Where to Eat that they don’t tell you at Frosh:

-Flip Toss Thai
cheap and they deliver

-The Real Thailand
authentic crispy veggie thai food at good prices

-Fresh on Bloor
No delivery but they do takeout

-Tacos El Asador
best burrito in Toronto
690 Bloor St. West
416.538.9747

Where to grab the Best Hangover Breakfast:

-Mel’s
440 Bloor St. West 416.966.8881
open 24 hours (so it’s also good for after the bar eats)
good MTL Bagels

-Over Easy
the story here is that the guy who opened it ripped off Montreal’s Cora’s before it expanded to Toronto

-Insomnia

Where to Get After the bar eats:
-Cora’s Pizza on Spadina
656A Spadina Avenue (Just north Harbord)
416.922.1188
This place has been opened for years and it’s waaaaay better than Pizza Pizza. And everyone knows it, which is why it’s packed after the bars close every week

-Sneaky Dee’s
It’s not really about the service or the portions, it’s pretty american in terms of the mexican menu but it’s soooo good at 2AM. They also sell cheap pitchers, do a good hangover breakfast and have decent events upstairs. Get to know this place, you will be going there a lot.

Where to drink cheap:
-Bistro 422
422 College
416.963.9416
Pitchers of whatever you want (we like Long Island Iced Teas) for 12 bucks flat.
The back patio is actually not bad, just gotta get by the rank bathrooms and up a staircase of ruin and you’re home free

-Sneaky Dee’s is also good for this.

-The Dance Cave
Good irreverent fun on Friday and Saturday nights. They play all the hits from the Beatles to Bloc Party. We also do a night just as fun on Thursdays at Tattoo with the in Crowd you should try checking out. Student IDs free till 11PM. $3.50 Drinks till Midnight. Nothin’ but net

Please avoid: The Madison and the Brunswick House, unless you like brutish guys who borderline date rapists hitting on you all night. Plus we’re pretty sure you can get STI’s fromt he bathrooms. All university students make the fateful Maddy/Brunny mistake in first year, so go ahead, try themonce, then file them away in the “never again” category and move on

Area 2 (green on map)
Queens Park to Jarvis Street, Bloor to College/Carleton

College is called Carlton East of Yonge and College west of it. It’s a tricky one, and it annoys people from out of town, but you’ll get used to it. University also becomes Avenue Rd. north of Bloor St.

Residences:
-UofT: Loretto College Woman’s Residence: 70 St. Mary St.
-UofT: Victoria College Residence: Queens Park Cres.
-Ryerson: Pitman Hall: 160 Mutual St.
-Ryerson: International Living & Learning Centre (ILLC): 240 Jarvis St.
-RyersonL O’Keefe House: 137 Bond St.

Where to Eat:

-Salad King
335 Yonge Street (entrance off Gould)
416.971.7041
You HAVE to go to Salad King. Our mouths water just thinking of this spot. Good for meat lovers, good for veggie’s, eat in on shared dining tables almost cafeteria style or take out. They have a chili system to measure hotness that goes to 10. We love spice and still never get past 5 without paying for it dearly. More peppers and spices and mouth-gasm than any other thai place in town and it’s affordable to boot

-Sweet Lulu on Church
471 Church St.
416.323.3235
you pick your protein, your noodle, your veg and they make it for you. It’s a simple eat in/takeout spot. No Frills, all taste.

-Zelda’s
542 Church St
416.922.2526
If you’re cool with the gayborhood, which you should be because it’s awesome, then go here for patio eats. They have all the regular fixin’s and great people watching and of cours drag shows and other campy fun at night. One of the best patio’s east of Yonge

-Ginger on Church
546 Church St
416.413.1053

Ginger is a chain. We personally like the originally next to strip bar, the Brass Rail the best but the Church St. Location is the second in line hands down. It’s a combo place and they are lightening fast and cheap. Mainly vietnamese, but they dabble in thai and chinese as well. You can order, sit and eat in under 30 minutes no problem.
They also deliver

-Le Commensal
655 Bay St (Entrance on Elm St.)
416.596.9364
It’s not cheap but they have a lot of tasty vegan options including delicious desserts and pate’s. Basically it’s a buffet and no one can resist piling it on. Technically you can eat here for under $10 but there are so many good healthy and tasty options, it’s easy to rack up a $20 plate if you’re not paying attention

-Ichimi Sushi
66 Edward
416.542.1266
Close, quick, under $10 for a lunch Bento. Can’t go wrong

Where to Drink Cheap:

Here’s the words to the wise: there’s lots of shit hole-in-the-wall bars east of Yonge/Church but unless you’re with a local, we don’t think you should get real explorative. Everything East of Yonge is mixed. The neighborhoods are alive with all kinds of pockets of awesome, but they are mixed in with not-so-safe and sketchy. So here’s our easy to use, safe guide to the east end rez life:

Stick to Church and College St and Yonge North of Wellesley and you will do just fine.

Church Street: also known as boys town or the Gayborhood has great service and good prices.

-Voglie
582 Church St
416.929.9108
has a secret enormous back patio

-Fuzion
580 Church St
416.944.9888
has a front amazing garden one

-Hair of The Dog
425 Church St
416.964.2708
has a great breakfast and Sangria

-Byzantium
499 Church St.
416.922.3859
is where you go for Martini’s

College gets better West of Spadina. Just take the street car and get off at bathrust (Sneaky Dee’s can be your beacon in the night)

-The Fabulous Cafe
635 Bay St
416.593.1423
gets sun all day and well into the evening on their patio and the drinks are dirt cheap. Pretty quiet in the winter too. Good place to just get smashed with friend over a pitcher.

After the Bar eats:
-7 West is a 3 floor cafe that’s open 24 hours
7 Charles Street West of Yonge
They also make a good hangover breakfast

Best Hangover Breakfast:
-Eggspectation is really the only place that’s dedicated to breakfast and it’s south of Dundas on Yonge
220 Yonge Street

-Big Momma’s Boy
They also make great Pizza

-Brass Taps
221 Carleton St
416.966.9440

homemade pizza goodness. Good for breakfast lunch and dinner

-Johnny G’s
478 Parliament St
416.928.1358
A bit out of the way but totally worth it. It’s got a great brunch that’s like 2 levels up from a greasy spoon but with greasy spoon prices

Area 3 (red on map)

Dundas to Queen St/Queens Park to Spadina

Residences:

-UofT: Chestnut Residences: 89 Chestnut
-OCAD–No residences but so many people live in Village on The Grange it’s ridiculous

Best places to eat:
-Little known fact, there is almost nothing decent to eat on Queen St from Yonge to Spadina. It’s like a tourist hole of a place with nothing but government buildings, shops, clubs and businesses and tourists. There’s burrito joints and chicken wing spots and you can grab a falafel, but there is NO character down there so if you want to do anything worth doing, you’re gonna have to venture

-Along Dundas from Bay St to University, there are dozens of good chinese places, all of them affordable.
Our fav: Spadina Garden
114 Dundas St. West
416.977.3413
It’s open super late on weekends and they have everything from crispy chicken to the straight goods. Something for everyone, service is fast and the place is huge so you never ait more than 5-10 minutes for a table

-Along Spadina at Dundas there are tons of Vietnamese spots where you can get a banh mi (a vietnamese sub) for as little as $1.50

After the Bar Eats:
-There are two types of people when it comes to Chinatown late night eats.
Those that hit Rol San and those that go to Happy Seven

Happy Seven
358 Spadina Ave
416.971.9820

They serve the infamous cold tea and have been shut down twice for rats (like in the windows) but so many people know this place that sometimes when you’re with a group of 10 hammered people, it’s easier to give in that fight

Rol San
323 Spadina Ave
416.977.1128

We’re on the Rol San team. They serve cleaner food with more variety and do the non-white shit great. They don’t do cold tea and it’s brighter than a hospital in there though, so know that before hand. There are also several people who swear by their dim sum (again, this is another one of those personal-taste categories where EVERYONE has an opinion on “the best”).

Shanghai Cowgirl
538 Queen St. West
416.203.6623

It’s a bit west since it’s almost at Bathurst on Queen but on Fridays and Saturdays they serve food till 4am.
It’s an old style rock-and-roll diner but modern enough that it’s not all kitsch. They also have a great back patio if you ever wanna hit up their weekend brunch or all-day breakfast or nurse beers with friends. They serve funny stuff like triple-decker grilled cheese sandwiches and shanghai noodles. They’re known for yam fries with wasabi mayo and if you’re under 25, you can totally afford it after a late night dranking. So hit that up

Best Hangover Breakfast:
-Last Temptation (or “The Temp” if you know)
12 Kensington
416.599.2551
The best thing about this place (other than the cheap breakfast, pool tables and cheap dranks) is that the waiters are int he same state as you serving breakfast on a Sunday. In fact, everyone is. The Temp is the kind of spot where you go to lick your wounds over generic eggs and toast with a ceaser on the side.

Dim Sum:
-The Bright Pearl
346 Spadina Ave (Entrance off St. Andrew)
416.979.1103

Everyone’s got a spot they like better but we’re going with the biggest as the best. If you really wanna feel an urban downtown feel at a lively dim sum joint, the Bright pearl wins every time. It seats 350 and there’s a healthy mix of families, couples, young people, old people, asian and hipster. The Bright Pearl for Sunday dim sum is the epitome of Toronto’s multicultural vibe. It’s a real landmark and one of the few places you can go with your mates AND your mom for brunch and still win. Plus it’s totally affordable and filling.

Where to drink cheap:

-The Black Bull
298 Queen St. West
416.593.2766

They have the best patio in the city. It’s huge, it’s got great sight lines for people watching and it’s rammed noon to close every day in the summer. When it gets cold, avoid it altogether

-Ronnie’s Local 069
69 Nassau St
416.340.1110

It’s a bit rough around the edges. You can tell that people who live and work in the market go here and they’re not too jazzed about outsiders. But screw them, it’s a great place for a pint. Int he summer it’s got a great picnic benched patio wsith shred tables and in the winter it’s a homey hole of a spot that is welcoming like a warm hug. keep this on your radar for pre-drinks on a date or meeting friends at a club too.

-The Embassy
223 Augusta St
416.591.1132

The Embassy is boss. Tiny and kinda art deco, it’s a great little spot for a drink before you go out. the drinks are reasonable even though it has a classier feel than most spots in Kensington. The market is rife with spots, but this is the kind of place you can take  date.

I had a visitor coming to town and I wanted to plan a fun week. I am not from Toronto; I’m only here for school so I am not what you call a grade A tour guide. This is where the Steam Whistle Brewery Tour helped me out. After some Toronto googling I landed on the friendly green planet of Steam Whistle.

Here’s the low down. The tour options are:

1. Souvenir Tour:
This tour includes one free sample upon enter, a tour of the brewing house and your choice of a tasting glass or a retro bottle opener.
price: $8.00

2. Four Pack Tour:
This tour includes one free sample upon enter, a tour of the brewing house and a 4 pack of beer.
price: $13.00

3. Six Pack Tour
This tour includes one free sample upon enter, a tour of the brewing house and a 6 pack of beer.
price: $15.00

4. Twelve Pack Tour
This Tour includes one free sample upon enter, a tour of the brewing house and a 12 pack of beer.
price: $26.00

Ok so first of all, all those tour options are a FUCKING STEAL. I’d go for the 12 pack tour on a hot summer day.

You enter the brewery, which is located right behind the Rogers Center, and they offer you a beer as soon as your first foot steps threw the door. Obviously you are parched so you accept. You sign up for your tour and you are presented with a free beer token. SCORE! The tour itself begins and it is actually quite interesting. Steam Whistle is only just reaching their ten year anniversary so their history is short and relevant. The best part about Steam Whistle, besides their tasty tasty beer, is their green initiatives. They were green before being green was cool. And I respect that.  Along with greening our community Steam Whistle supports the arts. Traveling through the halls and ending up at the bar you notice that the building is plastered with art. On the tour we find out that this is Canadian based art. They host different artists monthly on their walls and in their gift shop. It is a beautiful place this brewery. Of course my opinion maybe enhanced due to the fact that during my time at the Steam Whisstle Brewery I consumed 5  (FREE) beers. And then left on my merry with a six pack in hand.

I highly recommend this adventure to all, especially Torontonians. Even moving to Toronto I’ve gained a too cool for anything ordinary kind of attitude. Drop it right now and pick up your subway pass and head down to the brewery. I mean it’s the perfect pre-game destination. You can get perfectly hammered for the price of $15. I’ve come to find that that is very rare in Toronto.  I’ve found the loop hole to expensive drinking: THE STEAM WHISTLES BREWRY COMPANY. Come on, go get sloppy.

I have converted from my Manitoban beer drinking ways to a full fledged green Steam Whistle gal. CHEERS EVERYBODY.

Public service announcement.
If you don’t know who Rick Rubin is; EDUCATE YOURSELF.

Noted as, “the most important producer of the last 20 years” by MTV* is not something to be reckoned with. Neither is being a 300 pound vegetarian.

Rick Rubin has brought light into my life in many ways that god never could. And he most certainly has brought light into yours as well, even if you don’t know it. Lets see, do you listen to the following artist: The Dixie Chicks, Justin Timberlake, Red Hot Chili Peppers, U2, Green Day, or Johnny Cash? Well in 2007 Rick Rubin won the Grammy for Producer of the Year for working on all of those albums. In 2007 his Grammy count tallied 9, adding another win in 2009 Rubin now has a full mantel holding 10 Grammy’s at home. This man is unbelievable, like a tropical vacation where you hook up with 12 guys and your boyfriend never finds out. Damn Rick, how do you do it?

So, awards are great. Critical acclaim is great. Having a really long metal beard is great. But what’s really great is, starting off your career as the original DJ for The Beastie Boys. Yeah Rick has laid his ground work in more mays than solely producing. He was the beat keeper for The Beastie Boys when it all began for them. And I have a feeling he made track suits sexy.

My favourite accomplishment of Rick’s so far happened way back when he had just finished high school. Side-note, who accomplishes anything right after high school?  PFFFFT. Teaming up with none other than the master baller himself, Russell Simmons, they co-founded Def Jam Records together. Which has now released some of the greatest rap music of our time! Beaties Boys, Run-DMC, LL Cool J (when he wore the red hat) and later acts such as Jay-Z. “99 problems and my bitch ain’t one. You havin’ girl problems a feel bad for you son. Hit me.” That would never has been pumping from your stereo system if Rick hadn’t teamed up with Jay.

You are being educated in the ways of Rick because he is a background hero. And with his raw talent and sex appeal he needs to be applauded. CLAP CLAP CLAP. Let the sounds of Rick’s beat fill your heart through musical pleasure such as;The Mars Volta, Johnny Cash and Shakira.

* I don’t believe in MTV but I do believe in the power of Rick Rubin

Oh and if you don’t believe us here is a list of records Rick has produced:

• 1985: Radio – LL Cool J
• 1986: Licensed to Ill – Beastie Boys
• 1986: Raising Hell – Run-DMC
• 1986: Reign in Blood – Slayer
• 1987: Electric – The Cult
• 1987: Yo! Bum Rush the Show – Public Enemy
• 1988: Danzig – Danzig
• 1988: Tougher Than Leather – Run-DMC
• 1988: South of Heaven – Slayer
• 1988: Masters of Reality – Masters of Reality
• 1989: Dice – Andrew Dice Clay
• 1989: Live Fast, Die Fast – Wolfsbane
• 1990: Trouble – Trouble
• 1990: Danzig II: Lucifuge – Danzig
• 1990: Seasons in the Abyss – Slayer
• 1991: Nobody Said It Was Easy – The Four Horsemen
• 1991: Manic Frustration – Trouble
• 1991: Decade of Aggression – Slayer
• 1991: Blood Sugar Sex Magik – Red Hot Chili Peppers
• 1992: Danzig III: How the Gods Kill – Danzig
• 1992: King King – The Red Devils
• 1993: Thrall: Demonsweatlive – Danzig
• 1993: Wandering Spirit – Mick Jagger
• 1993: 21st Century Jesus – Messiah
• 1994: Danzig 4 – Danzig
• 1994: American Recordings – Johnny Cash
• 1994: Divine Intervention – Slayer
• 1994: Wildflowers – Tom Petty
• 1994: Deconstruction (self-titled album) – Deconstruction (band) (Executive Producer)
• 1995: One Hot Minute – Red Hot Chili Peppers
• 1995: Ballbreaker – AC/DC
• 1995: God Lives Underwater [EP] – God Lives Underwater
• 1995: Empty – God Lives Underwater
• 1996: Songs and Music from “She’s the One” – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
• 1996: Unchained – Johnny Cash
• 1996: Undisputed Attitude – Slayer
• 1996: Don’t Call me Barry – Hermann and the Hermits
• 1996: Sutras – Donovan
• 1998: “Let Me Give the World to You” – The Smashing Pumpkins (an unreleased song)
• 1998: VH1 Storytellers – Johnny Cash & Willie Nelson
• 1998: Diabolus in Musica – Slayer
• 1998: Car Wheels on a Gravel Road – Lucinda Williams (mix only)
• 1998: System of a Down – System of a Down
• 1998: Peasants, Pigs & Astronauts – Kula Shaker (“Sound of Drums”)
• 1998: Chef Aid: The South Park Album – South Park
• 1999: Northern Star – Melanie C (“Suddenly Monday” and “Ga Ga”)
• 1999: Californication – Red Hot Chili Peppers
• 1999: Echo – Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers
• 1999: Loud Rocks – V/A (“Shame” by System of a Down and Wu-Tang Clan, “Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nothing Ta Fuck Wit” Tom Morello, Chad Smith and Wu-Tang Clan)
• 1999: The Globe Sessions – Sheryl Crow (“Sweet Child O’Mine”)
• 2000: American III: Solitary Man – Johnny Cash
• 2000: Paloalto – Paloalto
• 2000: Renegades – Rage Against the Machine
• 2001: Amethyst Rock Star – Saul Williams
• 2001: The War of Art – American Head Charge
• 2001: Breath of the Heart – Krishna Das
• 2001: The Final Studio Recordings – Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
• 2001: Toxicity – System of a Down
• 2002: American IV: The Man Comes Around – Johnny Cash
• 2002: By the Way – Red Hot Chili Peppers
• 2002: Audioslave – Audioslave
• 2002: Steal This Album! – System of a Down
• 2003: Results May Vary – Limp Bizkit (with Terry Date and Jordan Schur)
• 2003: Unearthed – Johnny Cash
• 2003: Door of Faith – Krishna Das
• 2003: De-Loused in the Comatorium – The Mars Volta (with Omar Rodriguez-Lopez)
• 2003: The Black Album – Jay-Z (“99 Problems”)
• 2003: Live at the Grand Olympic Auditorium – Rage Against the Machine
• 2003: Heroes and Villains – Paloalto
• 2004: Vol. 3: (The Subliminal Verses) – Slipknot
• 2004: Armed Love – The (International) Noise Conspiracy
• 2004: Crunk Juice – Lil’ Jon and the East Side Boyz (“Stop Fuckin’ With Me”)
• 2005: Make Believe – Weezer
• 2005: Fijación Oral Vol. 1 – Shakira
• 2005: Oral Fixation Vol. 2 – Shakira
• 2005: Out of Exile – Audioslave
• 2005: Mezmerize – System of a Down
• 2005: Hypnotize – System of a Down
• 2005: 12 Songs – Neil Diamond
• 2006: Stadium Arcadium – Red Hot Chili Peppers
• 2006: Taking the Long Way – Dixie Chicks
• 2006: American V: A Hundred Highways – Johnny Cash
• 2006: FutureSex/LoveSounds – Justin Timberlake (“(Another Song) All Over Again”)
• 2006: The Saints are Coming – U2 and Green Day (single)
• 2006: Window in the Skies – U2 (single)
• 2007: Heroes and Thieves – Vanessa Carlton (with Irv Gotti, 7 Aurelius and Stephan Jenkins)
• 2007: Luna Halo – Luna Halo
• 2007: “Better Than I’ve Ever Been” – Kanye West, Nas, KRS-One (single)
• 2007: Minutes to Midnight – Linkin Park
• 2007: Free Life – Dan Wilson
• 2008: The Cross Of My Calling – The (International) Noise Conspiracy
• 2008: Live from Liverpool – The Gossip
• 2008: Weezer – Weezer
• 2008: Home Before Dark – Neil Diamond
• 2008: Dancing for the Death of an Imaginary Enemy – Ours
• 2008: Seeing Things – Jakob Dylan
• 2008: Death Magnetic – Metallica
• 2009: untitled – Slayer
• 2009: untitled – ZZ Top
• 2009: untitled – The Avett Brothers^[5]
• 2009: untitled –The Clipse