Ever heard of a TV Series where YOU can create characters? Me neither. The Aether Dancer is a new web/television series that will allow fans to write stories, create characters and even film their own segments and send them in to be included in the show. So it’s literally an opensource TV Show. The series is a mix of science fiction and steam punk and explores how humans survive and evolve. The pilot episode is anticipated for release in January 2013, but they need your help – so help out with a donation to their fundraising campaign and like them on Facebook!

So your sick of watching drama after drama, comedy show after comedy show, and all you want is some mind numbing cartoons…well you’re in luck because right now there are amazing cartoons on television. Sure some of them meant for 8 year olds and some of them are for your eyes only, but regardless they’re still completely entertaining. We’re gonna start with some previews of cartoons based off comic books (Green Lantern, Spider-Man, Young Justice), some that are for a mature audience only (South Park, Archer), and some that are reboots (Looney Tunes, Thundercats) and just fun! Click through check out these previews, and then find your favorite putlocker, videoweed, or plain old cable tv and start tuning in.

“You’re too pale and you’re nasty!” Welcome to the Jersey Shore: Panic in Miami. And soon, Toronto?

Whatever, let’s discuss MTV’s favourite awkward middle child-turned popular slut Jersey Shore. Season two premiered on Thursday with so much finger waving. Just follow the scent of Cadillac cologne and you’ll end up in Miami, the scene of the latest butchery of integrity. This time around, the shiny entourage is taking over South Beach. So what’s new?

Angelina has resurfaced. She was the chick who left the house early into season 1. Obviously she’s spotted an opportunity to pick up some missed cheap fame, so the bitch is back. More specifically, “the bitch of Staten Island”.

Sammi “Sweetheart”? Make that Sammi Single! Girl got rid of Ronnie Roids, but professes “I feel like I still like love him”. Oh, I can’t for all of this complex relationship drama. There is not enough of there.

Others in the house: diva Mike “The Sketchy Situation”, DJ Pauly D and his impenetrable fortress of hair, badass JWoww (with double the “w”), and adorable Vinny, who is the cutest out of the bunch. He spent the remainder of his time in Jersey, prior to the Florida road trip, with family; or so the editing portrayed. Aw, he’s the “good guy”.

You can expect the standard amount of girl fights and crying over spilled liquids; “I feel like a pilgrim from the frickin’ 20′s” squeaks Snooki, as she scrubs juice off of booty shorts in a stainless steel sink.

Speaking of, our precious Snooks was recently arrested for disorderly conduct in Seaside Heights, NJ. Here she is attempting to mount a bike, moments before being escorted from the vicinity of sanity. But who hasn’t, right? [Edit: the video has mysteriously disappeared off of the entire internet.] Beach BFF Jwoww had to bail her out. She Tweeted on Friday: “Going to bail Snooki out of jail… The things I do for this girl I swear.”

I want to take this sentence to reveal how much I love JWoww. There are not enough pairs of acid-wash jeans to make me turn my torn-tee back on her. I mean, she punched Mike “The Situation” douche bag in the face during the first season and drunk-eats ham. Role model.

Arresting incident timeline. I think Snickers’ tank says “SLUT”. How ode-to-Arrested Development of her!

Snooki’s fugshot.

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Well, are you? Since the Jersey Shore has not clouded our minds with seaweed quite enough, a sputtering little gem entitled Lake Shore is in the works for us proud Torontonians. To start, our lake shore is a paved rode littered with mouldy motels and garbage-infested sand leading into polluted lake water. I hope they glamourize it by planting some palm trees and distorting Toronto’s image. But who’s going to actually watch this? I think one skanky shore is just about right. I guess Woodbridge is far enough for this show to get picked up on cable. Never mind, I’m totally going to watch it. Viewing party at Frequency Nightclub! Polite fist pump.

I suppose I should attempt to befriend all those chiquitas I went to high school with. Wouldn’t want to pull an Angelina and miss out. By this new reality show logic, there are many diamonds-in-the-literal-rough and everyone should be famous. Do you know anyone who auditioned for Lake Shore for ironic blogging purposes? Please share your stories.

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Gibson, Slaughter, Palins — in no particular order. Scandal, fame-whoring, scandalous fame-whoring. Theme of the week: “You dun goofed!”

Do you want to know your 4chan? Probably not if it’s coming from the internet “bullying” cult of hilarious virtual destruction. Their lastest victim? 11-year-old Jessi Slaughter (yes, 11 and Slaughter), a prominent member of internet community Stickam, who apparently has loads of h8rz and was forced to make a video blog telling them off. Well, 4chan caught sight of this shameful video and decided to make her their next game of cyber taunting, simultaneously destroying her xcore repertoire and launching her to internet infamy. Because of 4chan’s orders, there was an influx of hate messages sent to her, as well as personal info published for the interwebs to absorb and abuse as they will. Also caught in the mix, a rumourific scandal that a lame singer who calls himself Davhie Vanity (above) from a lame MySpace Hot Topic band Blood on the Dance Floor raped Jessi. With his music, no doubt. At first glance, I thought the accused Sir Vanity was an eclectically-expressive suburban teenage girl, which would have made this that much more entertaining. Some random guy took it upon himself to record a prank call to Jessi’s house and tell her mother that he’s from the police department and investigating these allegations. All of this sounds harsh, perhaps, but the memes that came from this are beyond epic. Video evidence below. MEMES.

The originator:


“Consequences will never be the same” consequences. If you care for more, there is a relatively catchy dubset remix of this floating around.

Angry dad says “you dun goofed”:

Oh, but don’t you worry! Little Jessi Slaughter got right back on her Stickam, proclaiming she’ll “take any fame [she] can get!” Call me 100, but I can’t believe she’s only 11. I wish I, too, had been born on the internet. My pseudonym could be “Mel Amphetamine”. FYI, 4chan were behind the whole “send Justin Bieber to North Korea” campaign. Insert internet culture “epic win” here.

I wonder if 4chan take personal requests.

*  *  *

I refuse to discuss the “Mad Mel” Gibson issue deeper than the heavily-scraped surface, so I will let you comment on this situation if you so choose. It’s basically his publicist-said/her-publicist said vs. tape recordings. Hollywood can has another Russian mail-order bride-spy, Angelina Jolie-lips-wannabe, Nadya Suleman-consequences fame whore? I’m obviously not condoning abuse, but I just don’t care to dissect these peoples’ lives any further than what the alleged recordings have already brought to light.

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Teen parents Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are engaged. Over the past whatever length of time has passed since he impregnated the former governors teenage daughter, it’s been Levi versus baby mama’s mama drama featuring certified shotgun owner something-political Sarah Palin. The two have apparently been butting heads like…like moose in Alaska. But it’s all good, since the 19 and 20-year-old Bristol and Levi went and sold their shit to US Weekly before telling mom. S-Pal is probably still reeling from Levi’s hunk-a-delic Playgirl spread.

NSFW-or-Republicans!

Naturally, this recent engagement news has left many avid Playgirl readers devastated, as well as Kathy Griffin, who is more distraught than Bridget Jones on a lonely Saturday evening. Kathy and Levi have been somewhat of an item in the publicity circuit; Levi had been Griffin’s 2009 Teen Choice Awards date, so that really should’ve solidified the legitimacy of their rendezvousing days. She also took the time to visit him in his native town of Wasilla, Alaska. There was a film crew with her shooting for My Life on the D-List, but I mean, what relationship hasn’t survived the test of having a few grainy, camera-caught intimate moments? Am I right?

P.S. — Follow me on Twitter, read my blog, read my mom’s blog which she doesn’t realize she’s contributing to, ask me anything, join my “fan” page, and then add my any and every social networking account you can find off Google search results, etc, etc. And if you decide to hate all up on me, I WILL “backtrace” you and the consequences will never be the same.

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Today is the day of incarceration for Lindsay Lohan. The saga continues. Good luck, girl. See you in 90 days — definitely a lengthy period of time.

LL on the cover of the August/September issue of Complex Magazine.

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Until next time…keep fit, and have fun!

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Googly Gaga, Lindsay won’t be needing a manicure in prison, Clyde, himself, and Clyde himself, and inappropriate behaviour  involving a festive special. These are the days of our lives.

I am horrified at the number of Lady Gaga replicas I encountered on the streets this weekend, inevitably headed to one of her two shows in Toronto at the ACC. There were little Gag-lettes of every possible version of the “pop princess” roaming about, distracting the normal touristy-types from the commuters also caught in the hustle and bustle. Follow the trail of glitter and diamond shards of left-over thinking-for-ones-self and you may find an impressionable girl with anime eyes. Yes, the very same (but not really) as those seen in Gaga’s video for Bad Romance. Apparently there is some sort of Gag-spawned trend to stick cheap giant eyeball-effect contacts onto your eyes in order to achieve that creepy, computer-generated look of the Lady’s. Girls are getting eye infections because of this quest for originality by imitating someone who imitates others. According to CBS News, the “trend” originated in South Korea, and is actually illegal in Americanland. Figures.

I’m sure the Hello Kitty brand “circle lens” contact lenses bought online in wholesale used in this tutorial are completely medically tested and approved. Now, if only I could implant a computer generator to transform my face in day-to-day life. I would be a kindergarten craft project circa 2010.

Side note: I just Googled “Lady Gaga imitators” and photo results of Peaches appeared. No. Just…no.

*  *  *

Lindsay Lohan has an awesome manicure (“F*CK U” uncensored, naturally). Is sentenced to 90 days in prison. Cries. But here’s the REAL story (via Fox News): “Lesbian Prison Gangs Waiting to Get Hands on Lindsay Lohan, Inmate Says”.  Oh, my God. “Tamara Haley, 38, is doing time for heroin possession and prostitution. She said Monday: “Everyone will want a piece of her. It will make them famous if they hurt Lindsay Lohan.” Obviously, Lindsay will be “segregated from the general population, but where she’s going it is even worse. It’s the wing where the murderers are.” Oh, perfect. “I don’t think they will actually be able to get to her, but you never know. At the very least some of those hard cases will try to scare her. They’ll scream stuff to her from their cells.” Are you also shuffling all sorts of mental images within your mind? Little Parent Trap-Lohan, huddling in a cold corner in an orange jumpsuit that does nothing for her ginger complexion, while angry ball-cutter-off-ers make obscene gestures. She’s going to come out of there all hardened and tough, with a tear-drop tattoo and soap-carving skills. Who’s the bi/utch now, Sam Ronson?

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You may have heard of this kid via his Facebook fan page – Colton Harris Moore. A 19-year-old American fugitive, infamous for assorted burglary, as well as stealing cars and even planes. The FBI has been chasing him for 2 years, after escpaing from juvy and slyly evading authorities . They finally caught up with him in Bahamas, after a high-speed boat chase. Nick-named “The Barefoot Bandit”, he was shackled and escorted (sans shoes) to be held in a Bahamian prison where he pled guilty to charges of illegally landing/crashing a plane on the island. He’s been sentenced to three months in jail or a $300 dollar fine – which doesn’t account for the multiple burglaries he’s wanted for in the United States. (The Vancouver Sun). This kid is a modern-day outlaw. He outsmarted the FBI at age 17, and managed to steal more than one plane? It’s an art which he claims to have learned from video games – flying, that is. I’m sure virtual theft-simulation has nothing to do with his mad skills. In other news, I just got ahold of an Xbox console. Beware.

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Roman Polanski is free! The film director had been recently charged for having sex with a thirteen-year-old girl in 1977, when he was 44. For the past 9 months, the now 77-year-old Polanski has been on house arrest in a Swiss chalet. May I suggest he be transferred to THIS Swiss Chalet? At least they have cranberry sauce. All sorts of Stockholm Syndrome going on here. Or as the mainstream like to call it: Creepy girl and…dad?

*  *  *

P.S. — Happy Birthday to my Twittering buddy, Courtney Love. She turned 46 on Friday. Rock on!

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Justin Bieber falls victim to internet bullying, sexy Soviet spies, The Black Eyed Peas are revolutionary, and mini-Madonna is making her mark on materialism.

Half a million strong to send Justin Bieber to North Korea! This is why I love the internetz. An official contest was launched where fans get the opportunity to vote to have Justin Bieber tour their country; location with most votes wins. The Spice Girls did this during their reunion tour. (Toronto won, obviously.) Well, epic website 4Chan, notorious for being hilariously hilarious and spawning an internet sub-culture of LOLs, took over every girl’s dream and suggested people vote for Biebs to play in the secretive communist nation of North Korea. It is currently the number one voted destination, quickly jumping from 24th to 1st place. “Given the fact that almost all citizens of North Korea are denied internet access and there are restrictive controls over all media, it is unlikely that any of the votes have actually come from within the country. Justin Bieber has been target of a number of internet pranks in recent weeks. Last month, a post on 4Chan urged users to all search for the term “Justin Bieber Syphilis” pushing it to the top of Google Trend’s Hot Searches list.” (BBC News). LEAVE BIEBER ALONE! Just kidding. I have some Googleing to do.

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Who is SALT? Probably not the Russian (supposed) spy who has been under recent investigation for plotting to infiltrate the inner circle of young royals William and Harry. Sounds like MY social life. 28-year-old Anna Chapman‘s attempts at meeting them was apparently cause for concern. “In late June of this year, Chapman and nine other alleged spy suspects were arrested in the United States. According to the indictment, she was caught communicating with the Russian intelligence service, the SVR, using a computer attached to a wireless network at a Starbucks coffee shop in January, and two months later from a bookshop. She faces a charge of conspiring to act as an unregistered agent of a foreign government, which carries a potential penalty of five years in prison.” (CTV News). This is a REAL story, and in perfect timing with Angelina Jolie‘s sessy spy thriller. Impeccable coincidental timing, universe.

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More Peas, please. Apparently, big-time director and Avatar-inventor James Cameron is collaborating with The Black Eyed Peas to create a 3-D concert tour movie-experience-thing. I refuse to watch Avatar, and am skeptical when it comes to anything suddenly coming toward my face (that’s what she said), especially all of their on-stage costume armor. It’s being pounded into us that BEP are all about futurism and reinvention, but the schtick feels somewhat expired. Will.I.Am has been quoted as saying “We have the biggest director because we are the biggest group on the planet.” It’s hard for me to take this statement seriously, and it doesn’t help to settle those rumours of Fergie-Ferg leaving the group due to ego clashes. That happens to be false, but statements such as these make BEP an easy target for mostly unwarranted negativity.

P.S. — There were also rumblings of James Cameron weighing in with ideas to help solve the BP oil crisis. BEP crisis? Busy guy.

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Madonna‘s daughter Lourdes Leon aka Lola has a started a clothing line called Material Girl, designed exclusively for U.S. retailer Macy’s. Because she can. When I was 13, I was obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and still addicted to playing Neopets. This kid is, if not already, on a non-stop trip to Coolville, judging from her style. She’s barely 14 and proof that if Madonna is your mother, you can get away wearing platforms and smoky eyes to elementary school. The inexpensive line seems to be very 80′s/Desperately Seeking Susan-inspired. But girl better watch her back, because J-Woww is also new on the scene with her Filthy Couture, which is sure to rival that of a tween’s dream. I realize this is a baseless comparison, but look at J-Woww and then look at this girl, and just compare the general aesthetic.

This is an enthusiastically descriptive excerpt from Lola’s first blog entry (which seems to be missing now — via JustJared) on MaterialGirlCollection.com: “I am totally obsessivo about 80’s shorts… You know the kind that makes your butt look kinda big, with a grunge-looking shirt tucked in. It’s kinda nerdy but I love it. And the 80’s are another huge obsession of mine, which is totally amazingly awesome because Material Girl…HELLO! It’s like 80’s themed, which pretty much rocks, so yeah.” “Music wise My Chemical Romance is THE BEST BAND EVER for realzzzz. They are so awesome it hurts. If you don’t know who they are just… go away OR download their songs.” Run, Lola, Run.

Madonna with some pieces from the Material Girl collection (above), and J-Woww with her spandex-y debut on sexy-mamacita models (below)

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With spring break officially over the agonizing and terrorizing 2 month cram has begun. For university kids, such as myself, these are the worst two months of every year. It is nearly impossible to pull through them without a fortress of inspiration to turn to. Clearly the following activities are the easiest ways to get through the next two months:

1. Beer Pong
2. Shopping
3. Excessive eating

Those 3 things would all be so simple to turn to. Except for at this time of the year they all come with huge WARNING signs attached.  Lets take a closer look.

1. Beer Pong mixed with term papers and final exams is basically asking for a fail. And yes sometimes failing seems like the easy way out. BUT we must push through, think of all the money you’ve already spent and the hours you’ve already wasted studying.

2. Shopping. If you’re anything like me you have about 4 different school loans to pay off. ENOUGH SAID.

3. Stress eating usually presents itself at this time of the year. Stress eating involves chocolate on top of chocolate with a side of fat. But since the end of the school year also means summer which equals bathing suit, eating at this point and time just isn’t an option.

So I’ve come up with 3 superior replacements to the first dangerous list. These inspirational findings can easily help any university kid get through the next 2 months.

1. Terry Richardson’s acknowledging The Jersey Shore.
Seriously this is so sensational to me. My mere words cannot explain these new found friendships, so take a look for yourself:

2.Nike’s commercials.
I don’t cry at a commercials. This heart I own is made of PURE STEEL. Except for every time Nike and their marketing executives get together they plot against me. How can we make this little blonde girl cry, they ask themselves. And they always succeed! And the catch is…. I hate all athletics. So it’s a fact in itself that their commercials are freaking AWESOME. oh and not to mention inspirational.
(INSERT NIKE COMMERCIAL FROM YOUTUBE.) link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wIRTbY5HNM

3.Skins.

If you aren’t familiar you probably think I’m talking about porn. I mean I guess that can be a form of inspiration but british bad asses are far more inspiring. If you don’t know what I’m talking about open up a new page, go directly to surfthechannel.com and search skins. And start watching. THIS WILL HELP YOU PULL THROUGH.

There are a few things in life that I am completely sure of: I am sure that the moon will shine at night, even if the clouds blanket the sky. I am sure that the sun will rise in the morning, even if the rain seems like it will never stop. And I am sure that I will always, always love the CBC.

There aren’t many corporations that I have committed my entire heart to for life. But the CBC is special to me in so many ways. It is partially what makes me a Canadian—literally. I wouldn’t have been born here if it weren’t for the CBC. My father, who’s an editor and filmmaker, had the opportunity to work in London, England on the film “Jesus Christ Superstar.” (It was also shot in his Israel, where he is from originally.) While working in London, he met a Canadian who immediately saw his talent and encouraged him to relocate to Canada, where he was assured, he would be hired with the national broadcaster. He did and he was. And he stayed, and then had me. So thanks CBC, without you, I probably wouldn’t have been born here.

My dad worked at the CBC for 35 years on programs like the “Journal”, the “National” and the “Fifth Estate”, winning two Gemini awards along the way (he retired last year). As a result of his commitment to his employer, his family became CBC junkies. CBC radio programming is as essential to my day as my three square meals. I am in love with our national broadcaster. That is my bias. It is in my blood as a Lev and as a Canadian.

If there’s one person I know who’s equally, if not more enthusiastic about the CBC, it’s my mentor and friend Steve Pratt. He’s the director of CBC Radio 3, and he is so very good at what he does. Also, talk to Steve about the CBC and he glows with pride. I decided to do just that, so I can see his eyes light up.

Me: What’s your first memory of the CBC?

Steve Pratt: It’s probably watching hockey as a kid. Howie Meeker doing his hockey tips. As a young boy I played a lot of hockey and there’s still quite a bit of hockey nostalgia in it for me.

Me: For you and a lot of other Canadians.

SP: I have a four-year-old son and he’s crazy for hockey. It’s neat, we’re both sitting down and watching “Hockey Night in Canada.” But I don’t think he associates the CBC that I work for with “Hockey Night.”

Me: I don’t know if people think about CBC’s mandate. Care to explain it?

SP: It’s supposed to reflect the country back at itself.

Me: What impresses me is how it unites the country. It’s a tie.

SP: I’m slightly embarrassed to admit this but I wasn’t a regular CBC listener before I started working there. And I regret what I missed. It’s like a national conversation that you can’t get anywhere else. It makes you feel Canadian just listening to it. On my end of it, when I came to Radio 3, I thought I knew about Canadian music, and I knew nothing about it. To find all this unbelievable talent from coast to coast in every style and form imaginable, and it’s probably not a commercially viable business to do it but thank God it exists. It feel good to go home at night and sleep knowing that we’re helping to celebrate this amazing Canadian culture and talent. And the feedback we get, people feel really connected. It makes them feel Canadian. It’s really cool.

Me: Was there a point when CBC became quote unquote cool? Because it’s in my blood, it’s part of me. But I don’t remember it being cool.

For the full article, click here.

Elianna Lev

Visit Elianna’s website, www.eliannalev.com and email her at her brand new fancy business email: write@eliannalev.com, especially if you’re a CBC bigwig.

3 classy cannucks and 1 gauche yank.

MSTRKRFT performed “Bounce” on Jimmy Kimmel live last night! Our girl, Isis from Thunderheist was dashing in a bob haircut and mini dress, Jesse Keeler and Al P did all the parts live and N.O.R.E checked his blackberry over and over while dragging his feet through his part. Jimmy Kimmel called  his ass out on it too. More proof that money doesn’t buy class. Big ups to Toronto in the house!

By now, most everyone has heard or read about the alleged abuse of Rihanna by boyfriend Chris Brown.

It all started when both Rihanna and Chris did not show up for their scheduled performances at the Grammy‘s on February 8th. Then the gossip began. Hollywood was shocked to learn about the alleged abuse, but most became hesitant to comment on the situation.

This story has been heavily documented online, on air, and in the tabloids, leaving room for rumors, speculation, and personal opinions from all around the world.

There has been much speculation of what really happened behind closed doors; were Rihanna’s injuries as severe as reported, was Chris Brown’s apology sincere, and what will happen next? And in regards to Chris Brown’s career, is it now over? The back lash was rapid. Almost instantly Chris Brown  was dropped from his endorsement deals with Got Milk, Wrigley’s Gum and as well his music has now been banned from many radio stations across Canada and the United States. Can someone so heavily in the public eye do something like this and recover?

Recently, the always classy TMZ released a photo of Rihanna looking battered and bruised. This brutal image has caused the public to form harsh opinions, resulting in the majority thinking of Chris Brown as a horrible person. Most people, prior fans of Chris Brown, have stopped listening to his music, seeing it as tainted. On the other hand, there are the few who insist they will continue to listen to his songs. They feel that his personal life and musical career are two separate things, and one should not affect the other.

But this is more than just a celebrity scandal. Domestic abuse is an all too common issue that plagues society, no matter where you come from or who you are.

Being in the media, this has brought forth the issue of physical and emotional abuse. Because two people of such high status are involved, the reality of this has really hit hard and concern has been summoned to the surface. It has given us the opportunity to discuss the real issue of domestic abuse, beyond that of Rihanna and Chris Brown.

To help bring awareness and insight into this matter, which is more than just a pop-culture scandal, tune into MuchMusic for an in-depth discussion with teens and panel guests Lauren Collins (Paige from Degrassi), Alana Wyatt (ex-wife of rapper Mos-Def), and RT!, music video director. Reps from Kids Help Phone, YWCA, and the White Ribbon Campaign are also on hand to talk about how their services can help teens in trouble.

Hosted by VJs Sarah Taylor and Devon Soltiendieck, Much gives teens the opportunity to weigh in on the issue at hand, as well as tell their stories and give advice to youth everywhere.

Also lending commentary via webcam is celebrity blogger Perez Hilton, artist Danny Fernandez, Rihanna’s music video director, X, amongst others.

Should TMZ have released the horrific photographic evidence? How will this affect both Chris Brown and Rihanna’s career? What can you do if you find yourself in a similar situation, or know of someone who is?

Highlights from this MuchOriginal special and information on domestic abuse are available at MuchMusic.com.

Words by Melania Fedyna