Pitchfork describes them as, “Gorgeously pillowy synth-disco,”
we generally refer to them as “ooh la la”, and we can’t count how many times we’ve said, “I only like the Classixx remix”.  Classixx will be playing at Wrongbar on March 13th as part of Wrongbar Satrudays, and Le Belmont in Montreal on the 12th, but before that, Michael David, one half of the duo was nice enought to answer our 20 questions.

1. What is your dream of happiness?
To have a ‘74 rolls royce and only drive on the weekends.

2. Blonde or Brunette?
Brunette, but my girlfriend is blonde.
3.What is the quality you like most in a man?
Loyalty

4. What do you fear most?
Giant rats, spiders, and tea-baggers
5. 808s or 909s?
909’s
6.What’s your biggest regret?
Eating so many otter pops in one day
7. What’s your favourite bar or club in the world?
Speak easy cocktail in Santa Monica. Spud, the bartender always compliments me on the year I was born.

8. What’s the one thing you can’t live without?
Guitars

9. What are the 3 musicians dead or alive you’d like to see perform?
Al Green
The Gap Band
Kraftwerk
10. What is your favorite decade in music?
70’s

11. If you had to choose, would you rather go blind or deaf and why?
I’d easily go dumb. The other 2 options are too difficult.
12. How old is too old?
Dead
13. Where did you see yourself in 15 years?
On a ranch with Rhodesian Ridgebacks
14. Who’s your hero?
Peter Gabriel
15. What’s your favourite colour?
Black sesame grey
16. What song could you live without ever hearing again?
La Vida Loca
17. Metallica or Madonna?
Early Madonna
18. What’s your most hated vice?
Buying expensive frames.
19. Who is the most tragic figure in history?
Joseph McCarthy
20. What are the top three live shows you’ve seen in your life?
Arcade Fire at the Troubadour
Paul Simon Hollywood bowl Rhythm of Saints tour
Kings of Convenience at the Experience Music Project in Seattle

If you haven’t heard of Foxes In Fiction, well then you’re in for a treat. Warren Hildebrand, Oakville local, now living in Toronto is the solo artist of this magic. Nestled in Chinatown and attending OCAD University, the handsome fox still makes time for his music, having shows almost every weekend in local pubs around our beautiful city. I’ve witnessed a few of his shows and some of our Pink Mafia Crew (Kay Laser Vandertramp) has as well. We’ve come to the decision…“He’s magical.” Warren has a new album out called “Swung From The Branches”, which is being given out at his shows on cassette tapes. I know, cassette tapes. Amazing.

Thursday March 4th, Foxes In Fiction played a gig at Sneaky Dee’s. His set was 10:15 – 10:45pm and the boy killed it. The album has the sexiest cover art, which just made me love the boy even more. I’ve got to have a little chitchat with the lovely guy, and this is what he had to say:

Q. How did Foxes In Fiction all start?

A. I had been playing and recording music using software like Microsoft Voice Recorder since I was about 10 years old, but I started using the name Foxes in Fiction for the music I was making when I was about 14 or 15. Basically the whole thing came out of me not knowing many musicians in high school or having the confidence to start a band, so I began making songs in my bedroom by myself. I found the name on a link from the ‘Foxes’ page on Wikipedia and thought it sounded cool.

Q. An album usually has 9, maybe 12 songs. You created one with 19. Why so many?

A. The whole thing was written and recorded specifically to fit the 62-minute cassette tapes that I bought during the Christmas break and Side A was kind of recorded as one big stream-of-consciousness ambient thing over the course of 2 or 3 nights in my apartment, so it just happened when I broke the whole thing down it ended up being a lot of separate tracks, even though it’s only 30 minutes. A lot of them are just short transitional instrumental songs, anyways. I don’t think I ever even wanted to make an actual “album” in the first place, I wanted to make something the same pacing as J Dillas’ Donuts or a Lil Wayne mixtape or something, haha.

Q. With his new album out, you’re getting so much recognition from many other blog sites. How does all attention feel? Are you loving it?

A. It’s really weird and I’m not really used to it, since before Swung from The Branches not many people outside my friends, family and some people from Toronto really took too much notice to anything I’d been creating, but at the same time it’s a pretty neat idea that people actually dig what I’m doing. Ask my Mom, she’d probably give a better answer.

Q. Out of all the songs on your album, what’s your favourite to play live and why?

A. Snow Angels and 15 Ativan are always really fun to play. Both of my parents really like them which is a rarity and I get to use a lot of neat pedals. I’ve also practiced them enough that I don’t feel like I’m going to have a panic attack before I begin them. For all the songs it’s weird using that much electronic equipment on stage and having to rely on it so much, a big challenge is finding a way to add a more ‘human’ element to it and not make it seem like I’m just standing there…

Q. Could you ever see yourself not being solo and adding in other band members?’

A. Definitely. Well, yes and no. I used to be in a band called Paper Saw from Hamilton which was rad. It was a great experience to play live and get used to band dynamics, but at the same time it was limiting, I never played any of my own songs or sang or even really knew how to be assertive in a band setting like that. I was pretty mentally unstable at the time. I think Foxes in Fiction is always going to kind of be a personal thing for me to use ideas that wouldn’t really fly in a band. That being said, I have plans to get a solid band together under a different name sometime this summer.

Q. I find it very neat how you’re giving out your album on cassette tapes. Kickin’ it old school. Love it. Where did the idea come from? Why not use CDs?

A. I’ve always had a weird interest in cassettes tapes. The first music I ever owned was on tape. Even though they’re not as convenient CDs they’re much more interactive than something like a CD which you can just skip tracks with or rip to iTunes. You’ve gotta take your time. It’s also really fun to make the artwork and inserts for them. I realized a while ago that you can fold 4×6 prints into a perject J-card, it’s amazing. There’s just something special and collectible about tapes that a CD don’t really have. I have this plan to start a tape label out of my apartment this summer called Orchid Tapes. This album is actually the ‘first’ release under the name.

Q. It has come to my attention, that one of your songs Jimi Bleachball is being plagiarized. Click Me. Do you have any comments towards that?

A. Oh man, I actually just finished making a huge post about that on my blog. Click Me. The whole thing is kind of messed up. I got an email from some guy who explained the whole thing. Apparently some dude on 4chan posted two of my songs there under the name A.E. and they went kinda viral. People were saying they were a secret side project of Bradford Cox or something. The blog I Guess I’m Floating caught wind of it and made a post about it and everything. I think everything’s been sort of cleared up though.

Q. March 26th you’re having your album release party at Bread and Circus in Kensington Market. Any new songs off the album that will be played there?

A. Yessss, I’m gonna have another album on a CD recorded for then that I’m going to be giving away for free with the tapes, so I’ll probably play a few of those and some old stuff.

Foxes In Fiction, Feb 5th at Imperial Pub. Photo by: Rachel Renda

Look out for upcoming shows:
March 10, 2010 – Funktion Art Gallery (Toronto)
March 12, 2010 –Art Crawl @ Mex-I-Can (Hamilton)
March 26, 2010 – Bread and Circus Album Release Party (Toronto)

You can check out updates on Warren and his music on his blog.

Note: Warren is letting you download is full album for FREE!
Trust me, it’s worth the download. Click Me
Foxes in Fiction – Swung From The Branches
Total time: 1:03:35

1. Operating Room
2. Basement Window
3. Thank You, Sunday Morning
4. Sleeping Building Unsuspecting
5. Coffee Cups That Won’t Break Down
6. Ninth Floor View
7. Cream Screen
8. 8 / 29 / 91
9. Mialectric (Side B transition)

10. Bronte Balloons
11. New Panic Cure
12. Jimi Bleachball
13. Please Note
14. Snow Angels
15. 15 Ativan (Song for Erika)
16. To Go Home
17. Memory Pools
18. Insomnia Keys
19. Visiting Hours

Here at Pink Mafia we are cheeky people. So I understand being cheeky. And I also understand living with your balls out, that’s also another P.M. requirement. So when Diesel starting being cheeky and talking about balls I started piling up their new ads. And I thought eventually I’d form a conclusive opinion on these ads to share with you all. But all I’ve really managed to come up with is the following:

1.Yes most of my noteworthy stories involve dumb moments/ me being stupid
2.Yes it’s better to have tried than not to have tried at all, even if you end up looking like a fool

and number 3. which I’ve always known, is just don’t wear Diesel.

I’m not a fan of the denim line in the first place, so I guess their advertisements really go to waste on me. Still, every time I see one of their ads I stop. So clearly it holds some intrigue. But in the end isn’t it just dumb to be stupid? Or does this stupidity really lead to a greater path in life? Or is this just fashion so we all need to lay off? Tell me, tell me what do you think?

Wednesday March 10:

Check out CFCF at the Eyeweekly showcase down at the Roosevelt Room, along with Parallels and Styrofoam Ones.

Click here for a CFCF mix of Fabio Lendrum’s “Trouble”.

Nadastrom will be at Cobra this night too, and of course with an extended 4am license.

Thursday March 11:

RJD2 will be performing at Mod Club, which is going to be a definite good time. He’ll be on stage at 11pm. We did an interview with him, remember? Well if you don’t, check it out then see him live. Click here for interview.

At the Social there’s going to be a wicked event with Trouble & Bass DJs: The Captain and Star Eyes, alongside locals and some secret guest no one knows about.
Check out our interview with Trouble & Bass’ Star Eyes that will be up March 11th.

The Drake will also be hosting a late night event with Samiyam, of course with a 4am license. Check it out here.

Friday March 12:

There is going to be a crazy party at Mod Club, featuring Simian Mobile Disco on the Friday. Click here for facebook event.

Down on Queen West, Wrongbar is hosting an extended 4am license party- with performances by Vitaminsforyou, Ultragamma, Nasty Nav and more. You know that’s going to be a crazy night. Check out the facebook event here.

We asked Ultragamma the same stuff we asked the bands:

Of all the festivals you’ve played, which one was your favourite and why?
I think based solely on the experience I enjoyed playing last years
Jazz Fest the most. It was myself and Bombaman playing a b2b set to
headline at the Social. The vibe was excellent, the diversity in the
programming was great, and Mike and I were in pure terrorism modes,
which made for some… interesting times!

2.Who are you looking forward to seeing at this year’s Canadian Music Fest the most?
SAMIYAM for sure. Completely mind-blowing tunes every time, total
paradigm-shifting steez.

Saturday March 13:

Sound Academy will be having the Redbull 3style event, featuring A-Trak , Klever, Scratch Bastid, and of course the nation wide champs to face off for Canadian deck dominance. Doors at 9pm.

Note* Pink Mafia has a very limited guest list for this event. Click here for guestlist.

Tommie Sunshine, Arthur Baker, Barletta and more will all the at Cobra this night. This event definitely has a 4am license.

Check out this great remix of Barletta’s “Whisper” by Tommie Sunshine, click here.

At Wrongbar, Classixx, Azari and III will all be performing. Another event with a 4am license.

Saturday’s gonna be a hard one to get through. So much good stuff all over the city!

Because we care, we compiled a must see guide for this festivals live events for you.

Wednesday March 10th:

To kick off this outrageous event, we recommend you see Zeus perform at Lee’s Palace first at 8pm.

After you’ve seen Zeus, you’ll have enough time to head over to Wrongbar that night to catch Vivian Girls perform at 12am.

Thursday March 11:

There will be a busy night. To start it off, Magneta Lane will be performing at the legendary Horseshoe Tavern at 8pm.

If you’re feeling for more of a larger enviornment, Misstress Barbara and Beast will be performing at the Guvernment starting at 9pm.

Woodhands and K-OS will be at the Opera House, and Paul from Woodhands has answered these questions to share with us for our guide:

Of all the festivals you’ve played, which one was your favourite and why?

I really, really loved Sled Island last year… but honestly, there’s so
many great multi-venue festivals in Canada – Pop Montreal let Woodhands
program our own showcase which was the best. Halifax Pop Explosion feels
like a big hug. CMW and NXNE are hometown parties, so they’re always really
fun. In short, my answer is a cop out.

Who  are you looking forward to seeing at this year’s Canadian Music Fest the most?
The Constantines… I’ve never seen them live before. And Woodhands is
opening for K-OS which is crazy, and I’m really excited about seeing him.

Craft Economy will be at the Gladstone at 10pm.

We interviewed the Craft Economy for Dose.ca – check it out by CLICKING HERE

Timber Timbre will also be playing at the Great Hall, doors at 8pm.

Friday March 12:

Friday will be another jam packed night. At 9pm, Bedouin Soundclash and Simian Mobile Disco will be performing at the Mod Club.

At Lee’s Palace, Winter Gloves and the Acorn will be performing, starting at 9pm. Winter Gloves had this to share with us for our guide:

Of all the festivals you’ve played, which one was your favourite and why?
Osheaga pops in my mind right away. It happens in our home town, so
there is always a lot of people we know. They have a friendly
organization, good food, great artist lounge and restaurant where you
can easily happen to bump into bands like Yeah Yeah Yeahs or The Roots. But…… also SXSW in Austin. That’s probably the most impressive- A huge chaotic gathering of bands and industry people.It’s really like Spring Break!

Who are you looking forward to seeing at this year’s Canadian Music Fest most?
Handsome Furs for sure. This is a project I’ve wanted to see for a
long time. We’re playing the Sirius showcase at El Mocambo together so
I’m really looking forward to that show.

The Horseshoe will be having a crazy line up this day.  Starting the show will be Jets Overhead, and then Melissa Auf Der Maur,  and then Hot Hot Heat all beginning at 9pm.

In case you missed Winter Gloves the first  time, they’ll be playing again at El Mocambo at 12am, with Handsome Furs following them at 1am.

Saturday March 13:

Starting the night off is our favourite soul master Ben Stevenson @ Lee’s Palace and 9PM

Then shimmy over to see  The Trews at the Opera House at 9:30pm.

A really exciting show will be over at the Horseshoe, featuring Two Hours Traffic at 12:10, and the Junction at 1:20.

Rural Alberta Advantage will be at Fairmont Royal York, and they had this to add to our guide:

Of all the festivals you’ve played, which one was your favourite and why?
I think we can all agree that our experience at SXSW in 2009 was
definitely one of the high points of our lives, there were way too
many amazing moments during our week in Austin for it not to be at the top of the list.

Who are you looking forward to seeing at this year’s Canadian Music Fest most?
I’m personally looking forward to seeing Plants and Animals, who we’re fortunate to be playing with at the Indies on March 13.  I loved their
last record “Parc Avenue” and have heard really good things about the
new album, so I’m super excited to see it live.

Sunday March 14:

The big show happening this day will be happening at the Pheonix. Parlovr will be opening at 8pm, and then Born Ruffians will take the stage. Of course, we got Born Ruffians to answer this especially for our guide:

Of all the festivals you’ve played, which one was your favourite and why?

My favourite festival we’ve played was All Tomorrow’s Parties at Camber

Sands in 2008. It was set up motel-style with bands and fans all mixed
together with a come as you go type feel to the shows. People started
parties in their rooms and on the grounds within the complex of the network
of buildings – an old family resort from the 60’s. There was also a great
beach near by with lots of naked people.

Who are you looking forward to seeing at this year’s Canadian Music Fest most?
Always looking forward to a Constantines show. Also Young Rival, Plants &
Animals and Russian Futurists.

Stay tuned for our Guide to 4AM and the clubs tomorrow on Knee Socks Beat Cleavage

With spring break officially over the agonizing and terrorizing 2 month cram has begun. For university kids, such as myself, these are the worst two months of every year. It is nearly impossible to pull through them without a fortress of inspiration to turn to. Clearly the following activities are the easiest ways to get through the next two months:

1. Beer Pong
2. Shopping
3. Excessive eating

Those 3 things would all be so simple to turn to. Except for at this time of the year they all come with huge WARNING signs attached.  Lets take a closer look.

1. Beer Pong mixed with term papers and final exams is basically asking for a fail. And yes sometimes failing seems like the easy way out. BUT we must push through, think of all the money you’ve already spent and the hours you’ve already wasted studying.

2. Shopping. If you’re anything like me you have about 4 different school loans to pay off. ENOUGH SAID.

3. Stress eating usually presents itself at this time of the year. Stress eating involves chocolate on top of chocolate with a side of fat. But since the end of the school year also means summer which equals bathing suit, eating at this point and time just isn’t an option.

So I’ve come up with 3 superior replacements to the first dangerous list. These inspirational findings can easily help any university kid get through the next 2 months.

1. Terry Richardson’s acknowledging The Jersey Shore.
Seriously this is so sensational to me. My mere words cannot explain these new found friendships, so take a look for yourself:

2.Nike’s commercials.
I don’t cry at a commercials. This heart I own is made of PURE STEEL. Except for every time Nike and their marketing executives get together they plot against me. How can we make this little blonde girl cry, they ask themselves. And they always succeed! And the catch is…. I hate all athletics. So it’s a fact in itself that their commercials are freaking AWESOME. oh and not to mention inspirational.
(INSERT NIKE COMMERCIAL FROM YOUTUBE.) link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wIRTbY5HNM

3.Skins.

If you aren’t familiar you probably think I’m talking about porn. I mean I guess that can be a form of inspiration but british bad asses are far more inspiring. If you don’t know what I’m talking about open up a new page, go directly to surfthechannel.com and search skins. And start watching. THIS WILL HELP YOU PULL THROUGH.

Campus Vacations did their first ever trip to Cuba!

We had Joshua Seaton, one of their organizers, write a little behind the scenes advice for when you head off for Spring Break.

We stayed at Club Amigo in Guardalavaca, (Holguin) Cuba. My advice upon arrival to the resort is to pay a room upgrade fee of $10 (Cuban Convertible Pesos) to get a Poolside Villa which is much nicer than a standard suite. Also, right when you land in Cuba, make sure to exchange your CDN$, especially if you are arriving at night when the Bancos will be closed. The exchange rate will be much better than at the resort.

Don’t be shocked by the statue of Christopher Columbus on the private beach in the middle of the resort. He is highly praised and celebrated by the Cubans, so make sure to show your outmost respect.

Our villa keeper for the week was lovely. Each day I opted to give her a little gift; a shirt, bag of make-up, campus vacations promo shirt, tip in Cuban Convertible Pesos, etc. She was so appreciative of these items that are typically unavailable in Cuba. There was immediate respect and fondness that formed between us which in turn increased my trust in her. I often did not find it necessary to lock up my valuables and would leave my wallet in plain sight, returning to the room to find it untouched. My room was also always clean and in perfect condition, even after I would storm through it each night in a drunken-moronic rage!

TIP TIP TIP! – Bring extra Cuban Convertible Pesos with you everywhere, especially when you’re with a student group consuming countless drinks and raging hard. The people who received their “All-Inclusive” Rum & Colas the fastest (and strongest) were those who had tipped at the beginning of the week or at the start of each evening. The 24hr bar at our resort was key – always stocked with burgs and fries. (A little secret: they have cheese & ham behind the station if you want to spice things up and grab a sandwich instead).

THE DEALIO ON FOOD – make sure to book your A La Carte’s at the beginning of the week. You want to do this upon arrival to avoid eating at the buffets. Although the buffet is sometimes good for a morning snack or lunch feast, it gets old really quickly come dinner time. The quality at the A La Carte restaurants is much higher and they have a much nicer atmosphere for you and your buddies or romantic (one-week) significant other. ?

RED BULL – RED BULL – RED BULL
This is not an advertisement. It was a necessity some nights to wake up after a day of drinking in the sun, doing activities, and even squeezing in an afternoon “quickie” mixed with a nap. Drinking games (usually card games), or more specifically a round of “Kings/ Waterfalls/every card is a Rule Card” definitely gets things going too! Make sure to bring IPOD speakers (and a converter /adapter for the plugs).

The resort disco was open every night, except Mondays (for some reason) but overall it served as a place to harbor the drunk and reckless. Nonetheless, each and every one of us ended up here at one point in the night and did exactly this! Lol. Good times….well, at least from what I remember!

Finally, always make sure to meet a group of exchange students from Europe visiting Cuba. They are by far the hardest drinks, loudest chanters, and proud as hell of their “soccer” teams! *GREEN WHITE ARMY* (this gentlemen was the only Irish student in the bunch).

PHOTOG – Holguin, Cuba Feb 2010
By Joshua Seaton of Campus Vacations

Yacht has announced their New Mystery Moods tour across North America to support their highly-acclaimed See Mystery Lights album. They will be playing in Toronto at WRONGBAR on March 4th.

They did us the pleasure of taking the Pink Mafia’s 20 Questions With Rad People too:

1. What is your dream of happiness?

The whole driving impulse behind YACHT right now is to bring together a community of like-minded people and somehow make a home for them in the Far West Texas desert, in Marfa, where we lived while recording See Mystery Lights. An alliance, a homestead. The light in the desert is wide and and almost white on the desert plains, the agave cactus. It’s a very spiritual place for us, and we’d like to make a permanent commitment to that land.

2. Blonde or Brunette?

We like a little bit of both. Duality is one of our great interests: dark, light, one thing can’t exist without the other. We honor and respect the darkness all while choosing the path of the light. Jona is a brunette. I am a blonde. This is not without reason.

3. What Is the quality you like most in a man?

Femininity.

4. What do you fear most?

That spirituality is a mass delusion caused by some minute quirk of neurology. We also have nightmares about a dark, inscrutable mask of an alien’s face as it stands quietly in our bedroom doorway in the dead of night; the looming threat of abduction. Nothing is more frightening than the stone-cold other.

5. 808s or 909s?

Whatever is necessary to make the best music you can make. We make all our music with a consumer-level iMac computer, a $50 condenser microphone, and borrowed instruments; for us, it’s about as much as possible with as little as possible, and, furthermore, we believe the tools are essentially irrelevant. It’s about how you transcend the tools, make them invisible, and create the illusion that your music somehow predates you — that it was always there.

6. What’s your biggest regret?

That we can’t remember our own births.

7. What’s your fav bar or club in the world?

For YACHT, it’s not about place, it’s about what can be done in a place. We see shows as Temporary Autonomous Zones, pirate utopias, quick-dissolve anarchies to be constructed and taken apart by its constituents, the concert attendees. There are so many calcified rituals in the club: the stamping, the merchandise, the tickets, the way people hold themselves. Why not subvert those and create an experience that’s both temporary and new?

8. What’s the one thing you can’t you live without?

The Internet.

9. What are the 3 musicians dead or alive you’d like to see perform?

Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic, and Dave Grohl.

10. What is your favorite decade in music?

The 1980s gave us a perfect distillation of punk and aesthetics: California hardcore, the post-punk movement, the birth of independent music, the early shivers of grunge, the Talking Heads.

11. If you had to choose, would you rather go blind of deaf and why?

We would rather go deaf because it would put us in a position to make really interesting music. Can you imagine, a deaf band? Traveling and playing music that they’d never heard? Nothing could be more pure.

12. How old is too old?

Dead.

13. Where did you see yourself in 15 years?

We can’t say. We feel as though we’ve taken the first steps onto a long, winding path whose turns and obstacles remain obscured to us. It may lead us off the edge of the cliff, but we have faith that if we keep our heads down, work through the briar patches, and continue with light in our hearts, that it will take us up and over the mountain.

14. Who’s your hero?

Our heroes are many, as are our influences. Like everyone in this hyper-connected, self-navigating digital utopia we call the Western world, our minds are a sieve of millions of ephemera: music, images, colors, ideas, anxieties, connections. It all seeps in, and eventually we turn it around into cogent output that is profoundly inspired by the work of others without being derivative. Kurt Cobain, Luxirare, James Tiptree Jr./Alice Sheldon, Philip K. Dick, the science fiction writers of the New Wave, David Byrne, Brian Eno, Karl Lagerfeld, David Lynch, Yayoi Kusama, John C. Lilly, Aleister Crowley, Manly P. Hall…

15. What’s your favourite colour?

White because it contains all colors. And black because it doesn’t.

16. What song could you live without ever hearing again?

The song “Man, I Feel Like a Woman” by Shania Twain. This song is worthy of all the vitriol a person can muster. It is fucked on so many levels: musically, politically, aesthetically, sexually. It’s a nightmare. “The best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun?” Might as well say, “The best thing about being a woman is that you don’t need to think.”

17. Metallica or Madonna?

Madonna.

18. What’s your most hated vice?

Intellectual laziness, the lack of curiosity about the world and one’s place in it. We have no sympathy for those who aren’t curious.

19. Who is the most tragic figure in history?

Vernon Wayne Howell, aka David Koresh, the ill-fated leader of the Branch Davidians. He was a rapturous leader in a fundamentalist vein that is pervasive in America today, before the conservative power machine realized that fundamentalist Christians were political allies. He and the rest of the Branch Davidians, women and children, were squashed like bugs by the FBI at Waco and then slandered posthumously in justification. David Koresh sought to live righteously, and in doing so led his followers into grotesque, unnecessary deaths at the hands of the Feds. Perhaps not the most tragic figure in history, but a parable about of the importance of communication, and very visible example of the propaganda poison we are constantly fed by our leaders and the media about offshoot spiritual groups.

20. What are the top three live shows you’ve seen in your life?

Jona’s first ever concert was the Melvins, the Breeders, and Nirvana. He fulfilled the “top live shows” category of existence before I even hit the ground, and now we don’t have to worry about it.

In Montreal’s bustling and colorful quarter better known as the “gay village” welcomed none other than model and DJ Jesus Luz at Club Unity Saturday night playing the most recent pulsating beats for about 250 people. Despite rumors that Madonna’s boy toy lacks any real DJ skills and plays pre-mixed CD’s didn’t stop the crowd from going all out on the dance floor even causing more than just a few men to strip down to their tiny underwear. After showing up almost an hour after he was due in the booth, Jesus dashed through two quick questions with the media, gave a big smile in three directions at the flashing cameras, and practically bolted toward the back of the club in preparation for his performance, requesting no further interviews. He’s clearly picked up a few habits from the material mom.

Wearing a black t-shirt and jeans, and sporting dark shades, the Brazilian pretty boy was a single spectacle of his own as his fervent energy, rhythm, and star quality was like eye candy.  It’s no doubt that he has a blast DJing, beating his fists in the air, mouthing the lyrics to every song, and encouraging the crowd – and occasionally grabbing the begging hands of excited girls and guys who climbed atop of their friend’s shoulders just to get a peek of him. What better way to hype up his music career by borrowing Madonna’s large gay fan base, especially when you got the Queen of Pop herself pulling the strings.

Words By: Gina Ionta

Photos by: Stacy Lee

Some might say that Canadians are a little slow to get the party going, and you know what, they might be right.  That’s not to say that once that party train is rolling, it seems to be careening down the tracks at a breakneck speed while clanging a cowbell in one hand and drinking a beer with the other.  This is one of those MOST FUN EVER kinds of moments.

Our week started Saturday, Feb. 13th in Victoria B.C., as we played host to Sammy Bananas at Hush Nightclub…true to form, the man is bananas…after dropping hit after hit, the bartenders (the only people who’s opinions I trust) declared it a win, and we went off on our merry little way feeling like the first heat of our GOIN’ FOR GOLD tour was a great success.

Sammy Bananas

Because we are open to all forms of culture and expression, we decided to try out this new thing called “Valentines Day”.  Plans of scooter rentals and cruising around the city were kiboshed by all the other bastards who were doing the pseudo-romance thing as well.  So instead we walked along the breakwater (OOOOH!) and then drove to the top of Mount Doug (AHHHHH!).  Our virgin Victoria visitor (in between napping off his hangover in the backseat) was pretty excited by A) the view B) the ocean and C) the fact that he didn’t have to wear more than two layers of clothing.  He was also pretty amazed that our friend has an urban farm with chickens in her backyard, and an old deadhead bus in the back with the Muppet Band Electric Mayhem painted on the side.

After zero negotiation (post dinner wine talk) we decided to take an early ferry over to Vancouver to avoid the much anticipated travel hell on the Sea to Sky highway that would take us up to Whistler.  Dr. Dug, tour manager extraordinaire, had sorted us out with the ‘Golden Ticket’, a pass that would allow our vehicle, and all occupants, access to Whistler without having to rely on the public transit or 1 of the million or so busses that were headed that way.

Rosa & Dr. Doug

We picked up Rosa, our third wife, and were on our way by the afternoon.  Much to our surprise and joy, the highway was perfectly clear, and we were up to Whistler in record time.  After settling in, having a cocktail, staring out the window of the condo we were staying in and wishing we had remembered bathing suits, we discovered the fact that we had to pull a serious marathon set from 930-230.  We decided to take a short cut down blackcomb mountain in order to get to the club on time, and discovered that sneakers and other forms of non-winter footwear are not the tightest equipment to wear while wandering through snow.

We arrived in  Whistler village just as the Fire and Ice show was starting, which was music accompanied by boarders and skiiers doing aerials and jumps through Olympic rings that were on fire.  Miche discovered her long lost family on the way, and was eager to jump over a barricade in order to have her photo taken with them.

From here on in things got a little fuzzy…..We were playing at our favourite haunt (and location of the first Get ‘er Done Tour gig) Maxx Fish Doug re-appeared after killing a bottle of scotch with his Dad; Sammy Bananas, Neoteric and Sam Demoe came by to say hello then our buddy A-Mac wandered over to where they were playing to see Sammy bust a tune on the harmonica, the dance floor was hectic with requests for old school hip-hop, fidget, a guy who was ADAMANT that Daft Punk be played and there were the other female dj’s who wanted to ‘look at our song lists’.

Neoteric, Sammy Bananas, Sam Demoe

Bichin Ladies: Mama Miche & Kenzi Clarke

We headed down to Vangroover in the evening of the next day, catching the most epic of Sunsets and realizing we were trading in any form of good winter olympic type weather for this sunset, so we had better enjoy every last second of it.  Courtesy of our friend/fellow dj/promoter DJ Kraig, we were invited to share the decks and do an opening set with him for the Stanton Warriors surprise second show.

After an amazing meal at Guu (a must visit if you are in Vancouver), we hit the club and had a fantastic evening of breaks and house music. The crowd was smaller, but it made for a tight intimate gathering with some of the biggest names in the breaks biz.

We totally hate having any kind of fun, so it was a good thing that these guys are just so boring and hate to have fun too.

A quick visit with the boys in their penthouse suite (yep life sucks) revealed that finally Vancouver was starting to embrace the fact that the Olympics are happening right in their backyard, and we could see Canadian flags flying from apartments all around us.

The next night had us taking the gondola up Grouse mountain for the Monster Energy Drink party.

Check out this lineup: DJ Fashen, Dave Nada, Neoteric, Mike B., DJ Spyder, and Kid Sister!  All in an amazing apres ski setting overlooking the lights of Vancouver! EPIC!!  There were of course all the treats that come along with fantasmo industry events, such as glasses fashioned from ice, free massive buffet, outdoor Olympics viewing area with couches, but the DJ’s definitely stole the show.  We were all introduced to Moombahton (think 125 bpm slowed to 110…it’s amazing) courtesy of Dave Nada, who also provided various other sources of entertainment for the evening, such as “Tape MIche to the seat of the car while she drives across the Lions Gate Bridge, and while you’re at it tape Kenzie’s arm to Miche’s seat so she’s useless to help”.  We got to hit up an apres courtesy of the Schitzpopinovv crew, and managed to get in a little face time with our fave dude from abroad: DJ Czech.

Czech & Mama Miche

Well 5 days of partying in a row with our favorite friends wasn’t enough. Post Grouse Mountain ice skating party/ Nada tape up / moombahton marathon, we woke up at the River Rock Casino in Richmond. Miche took her hand at the slots but the “Enchanted Unicorn” didnt pay out, instead A-Mac quadrupled his winnings on virtual roulette so he bought our train tickets back downtown and lunch (more beer).

Thursday night, Day 6 was geared up for another night up at Grouse, this time at the chalet with DJ’s Ali-B, Ayres and Rico then another tram ride back down to Shine where Miche and A-Mac checked out the Shaun White Gold Medal Party with Smalltown DJs and Steve Aoki. Shaun wasn’t there because apparently he was flown to Chicago to do Oprah, but we did meet the US bronze medalist for men’s halfpipe and see the medal itself. Ok so Miche didnt exactly see it and doesnt know who these dudes are, but there’s the medal.

Kenny Mack was in the house and that meant shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! That damn LMFAO song will haunt us forever. A post club apres at The Red Bull Lounge was groovy and left Amac and Miche wandering home to Kits.

Friday in the city didn’t slow down, it supersized X a gazillion! Miche’s daughter joined the festivities so quick switch to PG mode, we toured the downtown at night on Granville with the other 7 billion people who thought that would be “fun” to get wasted in Canadian flags and belt out the anthem on repeat.

Then for our last day in Vancouver A-Mac actually checked out a hockey game, the only Olympic-sports related activity to contribute to the week.

Meanwhile Miche and Katie cruised the city on bikes in search of the hot ticket item “Quatchi Toque” they were selling out everywhere. I am sure anywhere outside the downtown core would have a ton of these. In the beautiful +10 sunshiny Best Coast weather we hit the Sea Wall to False Creek to Gastown to Coal Harbour, to Stanley Park and back to Burrard Bridge with a mission accomplished for under $30 CDN.

Click here to see one on Ebay.

All in all – Canada hosting the winter Olympics during the warmest winter on record was pure fun, filth and of course the Most Fun Ever!