There are certain things I need to bring to your attention.

Beyonce is a god.
Not even a goddess because she defies all boundaries.
Repeat Beyonce is a god.

I often find myself talking about Beyonce. In particular I try to preach about Beyonce to non-fans, because lets face it EVERYONE should appreciate B. I have this conversation with my friends “who hate the mainstream” and can be found sulking in corners listening to something FAR LESS appealing than Beyonce. And my fight always remains, even if you do not like her as a person or as an artist you have to admit that she is one of the most talented females in the world.

And how did the title of Queen of Pop go from Madonna to Britney to Lady Gaga? That’s a serious questions my peeps. How can Beyonce be passed up like that? If you look at Beyonce’s innovation and raw talent she blows everyone else out of the water. Specifically in this moment in time, the question of Beyonce vs Lady Gaga doesn’t even need to exist. There is no competition, they aren’t even in the same arena of talent in my opinion.

In the past month alone Beyonce has release three music videos. And they’ve all changed my life. Most recently she’s released a video for Party with our boi J.Cole.

Yes this has been a rant, but please enjoy the video.

And preach the gospel of Beyonce.

Twenty-seven year-old, NYC-chef-turned-rapper, Action Bronson, can charm the pants off a lady using just a few ingredients. We recently caught up with the Casanova in Los Angeles, where he was kind enough to break down his three-coursed, guaranteed-to-get-you-laid, meal.

Bronson always states his intentions right off the bat, greeting his dinner guest with an amuse-bouche of freshly shucked east and west coast oysters.

Once this love-food has set the mood, Bronson steps up his game and delivers turkey breast, roasted to perfection, then drizzled in Wahaca sauce (a Mexican cocoa based sauce that packs heat).

When I inquire about this adventurous combination, he tells me that I need to trust him, because “this is some next level shit.” And I do.

Dessert is how Action seals the deal; he’ll treat his sweetie to luscious strawberries, pre-dipped in a velvety Aztec chocolate sauce.

What does Bronson’s lady-lover sip on during this romantic dinner date?

“Cisco.”

When I admit to having no knowledge of what Cisco is (other than the genius behind The Thong Song) this Queens boy is unimpressed.

Later on, my research reveals that Cisco is otherwise known as “liquid crack” thanks to its tendency to trigger semi-psychotic fits in those who ingest it.

If Bronson is fresh out of Cisco, he’ll settle for plain-old “getting twisted on Absinthe and good cheeb.”

The lady-killa claims this is all the wining and dining a woman needs, before proceeding to the sixty-nine-ing.

“That’s all she’s gettin!……And if that don’t work? Then fuck it, I’m out!”

I can’t help wonder how an Action Bronson date unfolds post-nosh and against my better judgment, I ask.

“When we done with the eating, we start in on the massages” says the rapper with a mischievous chuckle.

But don’t waste your

time trying to kneed out the pesky knots in his back. Bronson’s date night rule? “Frontal massages only.”

Action Bronson will be performing at The Rivoli in Toronto this Friday (Nov. 4^th).

Purchase tickets in advance here.

Words by Anne M. Louise

The last time I saw Death From Above 1979 live was in some warehouse in the west end 8 or 10 years ago when I first moved to Toronto. Gabe, Jesse’s cousin and the dude responsible for the now legendary elephant trunk drawing, dragged me there all, “you gotta see my cousin’s band play”. I remember I could hear them from the doorway and thought “what the fuck is that? A ten piece heavy band?” I was shocked to see two dudes were creating all that noise. Truthfully, it wasn’t love at first sight, but they grew on me hard and fast. And like so many other fans worldwide, I was devastated to hear they broke up. I still listen to You’re A Woman, I’m a Machine regularly at the gym. And like so many others who have worn our original DFA shirts to rags, I was psyched to hear they reunited. In front of a Mike Giant designed backdrop from Coachella and with two days worth of merch sold out long before they played their first home show, Seb and Jesse blew my face off. Thanks for making a lot of people happy all over again boys. Hats off.

All Photos ©Courtney Lee Photography 2011

CREEPSHOW (1982)

Creepshow is a perfect example of a lost sub-genre of film, that being the anthology film. Most notably a horror convention, the anthology seems to me like the perfect vehicle for entertainment. If you hate the story or characters, give it ten minutes, and there’s a whole new set of both.

Creepshow is a great anthology horror film directed by George Romero, and written by Stephen King (He also stars in one of the segments, “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill”, as a goofy hillbilly who has a run in with a meteor). The film is heavily influenced by the notorious E.C. comics of the 1950’s, like “Tales From The Crypt”, so many stylistic touches featured in “Creepshow” are reminiscent of comic books, such as framing devices and lighting. The stories range from subjects such as re-animated corpses, crate-dwelling monkey monsters, and flesh-eating cockroaches. There’s something there for everyone. If you grew up reading those old horror comics, this is essential viewing.

- Trevor Henderson

HALLOWEEN (1978)

So, leave it to me to choose the most original Halloween movie as my favorite one of the Halloween season to commemorate Halloween, John Carpenter’s Halloween. Right. So what can be said about this masterpiece; a defining film, not only as part of the horror genre but as a triumph of independent film-making, that hasn’t been said before? Well probably quite a lot but i will just dedicate myself to stress two important characteristics of this movie: its simplicity and its never diminishing effectiveness.

Halloween’s is very clear and confident about the plot that wants to develop during its tight running time and the wonderful thing is the richness behind the “Evil Terrorizes Dorky Girl” premise. Carpenter defined the basic elements well enough as to become symbols, and at the same time left them with the possibility to live and to change and transform in the public’s mind, elevating the material to, in my humble opinion, the heights of a timeless fable. A violent, suspenseful, fun and scary as shit fable that is.

This well developed elements also help Halloween stand in a position that sometimes is difficult for horror movies to maintain, apart from a nostalgic appreciation, and that is continuing to be scary. So, yeah, just watch it again and think “Damn, they really don’t made them like they used to.”
- Daniel Montiel

DEAD ALIVE a.k.a BRAINDEAD (1992)

The question always comes up eventually, the person lowering their voice to a conspirator whisper, as if the mere thought of it could get them into trouble:

“So…What’s the goriest film you’ve ever seen?”

People’s answers will vary – some will say it’s an Italian Cannibal film, others a seedy Japanese torture fest, and my answer comes to me incredibly easily: The goriest film of all time is DEAD ALIVE (Or BRAINDEAD for you European folk). Director Peter Jackson (Yep, of LORD OF THE RINGS fame) tells the simple story of a boy, his manipulative mother, a girl and an army of undead. Heads get ripped off, guts get munched, rib cages pulled out and life are lesson learned

Oh, and there’s a lawnmower massacre.

DEAD ALIVE isn’t just gory, it’s RIDICULOUSLY gory, and it’s not merely content to deliver the quantity but gives you the creativity behind the mile high spurts of the red stuff. It’s all about the laughs here, not the scares, and Director/Writer Peter Jackson just wants you to have a grand old time watching horrifying acts of slapstick violence. Put down the ‘SCARIEST FILM OF ALL TIME’ for a second and let yourself be taken away in something that’s just a grand old fun time at the movies. BIGGEST GIANTEST RECOMMENDATION!

- Justin Decloux

NIGHT OF THE DEMONS (1988)

There are several films that have a very warm spot for me every Halloween. There was a time when horror was gross, scary, no holds barred but still carried this wonderful level of innocence. Halloween is not just a time of horror but a time to remember when children dress up as monsters and get to be brave and scary while having a good time. Monster Squad, The Gate, Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive and Killer Clowns from Outerspace are all examples I would use. Scary, gory effects but a fun and cheeky sense of humour that makes the forth coming nightmares more fun than scary. This years pick for me is 1988s NIGHT OF THE DEMONS. It plays by all the classic stereotypes and rules that make a fun Halloween party flick. A bunch of odd balls kids go to a party at a haunted funeral home. To quote the movie, this house is not haunted it’s possessed. Funny gore gags and a one by one set of creative deaths for a motley crue of characters makes for an entertaining movie. The characters you hate die quick and fast and the ones you like, well they die too. Classic cheesie monster effects with a few creative twists all set on a Halloween party. The main bad girl Angela is dressed in a black wedding dress and talks like Dr Claw but when she dances to a soundtrack provided by The Bauhaus we will quickly understand the goth tongue and cheek humour of this movie. This movie is a no-brainer but a perfect party flick. Booze Boobs Beasts and 80s rock. Please over look the terrible remake of 2010 with the same plot but updated hip characters, just ruins the full point. This Halloween beware of bobbing for bat apples (watch the movie you will know what I mean).
- Adam Thom

SESSION 9 (2001)

Some people want their Halloween movies to be fun… or gory … or gory fun. I prefer my Halloween movies to be SCARY!!!!

Session 9 came out of nowhere in 2001, with it’s odd cast of second tier but recognizable unknowns led by ginger CSI diva David Caruso and Directed by relative newcomer – Brad Anderson (The Machinist).
The story follows an asbestos removal crew into their new job site, the imposing and abandoned Danvers State Mental Hospital – the real “star” of this film. Personal and professional tensions mount as the job drags on, personalities clash and a pall falls over the job site. While exploring the labyrinthine facility, the discovery old files and tape recordings of the previous patients/inmates instills the proceedings with a definite sense of dread that crawls slowly up your spine… grabs you by the scruff your neck …and whispers sweet evils in your ear.

Playing off of our collective subconscious fears and some truly disturbing mental imagery, Session 9 is a haunting, atmospheric masterpiece of the macabre… the only film to truly frighten this well jaded, long time horror fan in the last 25 years. Whenever I’m asked to recommend a truly scary movie, this is always my go to first choice! There are plenty of grotesque, violent, blood-spattered torture films and even more choice when it comes to goofy, over-the-top, nonsensical horror comedies… but there are so few films that can actually unnerve us and send our minds to the dark recesses of our own psyches… just the idea that a mere collection of images on celluloid can reduce a grown man to the state of a frightened child reveals the true power of film as art.

I think the scariest thing ever is a chick who has been outcast by her sisters (after all, Hell hath no fury right?). The scary thing about a female exacting revenge is that she resorts to worse things than physical violence, like backstabbing gossip or psychokinesis, a la “Carrie”. Although to be honest, this video is a little bit physical and a little bit violent (also like Carrie).

In this video, our super heroines Shelftit & Jagged Boob (two girls whose boob jobs went horribly wrong), after being rejected from the mainstream sororities start their own wiccan sorority, Alpha Omega Bitch. Of course, the first human sacrifice is a frat boy! Also starring The Dunph, aka Jessica Dunphy, in her dreadlock days.

Call me crazy, but carving pumpkins, staying up past your bedtime, eating too much candy and drinking pumpkin beer/spiked apple cider while dressed as your favourite ghost, ghoul or goblin is like, an insurmountable amount of holiday fun. On the other hand, listening to John Carpenter’s Halloween theme or Monster Mash on repeat is not.

Enter New Wave revivalists and the rising popularity of goth-infused anything and we’re left with tons of options to bring Halloween playlists into the twenty-tens. Whether you are going out to paint the town a bloody red or slaying in, this collection of songs will ressurect any gathering. Happy haunting!

AUSTRA :: The Beast
Austra – The Beast by pipedreamin
TRUST :: Candy Walls
Trust – Candy Walls by sacredbones
CHELSEA WOLFE :: Mer
Chelsea Wolfe – Mer by One Thirty BPM
CRYSTAL CASTLES :: Baptism
Crystal Castles – Baptism by Jrparado
CRAFT SPELLS :: The Fog Rose High
The Fog Rose High by Craft Spells by goincase
I BREAK HORSES :: Load Your Eyes (Star Slinger Remix)
I Break Horses – Load Your Eyes (Star Slinger Load Your 808 Remix) by Bella Union
BURIAL :: Stolen Dog
Burial – Stolen Dog by ListenBeforeYouBuy
ZOLA JESUS :: Vessel
Zola Jesus – Vessel by sacredbones
PURITY RING :: Belispeak
Belispeak by PURITY RING
MEMORY TAPES :: Offers
Memory Tapes – Offers by gulsah turgut
CHARLI XCX :: Nuclear Seasons
CharliXCX – Nuclear Seasons by charlixcx
GRIMES :: Beast Infection (Cumbia Remix)
GRIMES – BEAST INFECTION (Cumbia Remix) by NOIA (projects)
HOW TO DRESS WELL :: Suicide Dream 2 (holy other remix)
How To Dress Well – Suicide Dream 2 (Holy Other’s Effervescent Mix) by HOLY OTHER
ATELECINE :: 4am
aTelecine – 4AM by P 3 N D V ? N Y C
FEVER RAY :: The Wolf
Fever Ray – The Wolf by Andrew Diego
SALEM :: King Night
KING NIGHT by SALEM official
MASSIVE ATTACK VS. BURIAL :: Paradise Circus
Massive Attack vs Burial – Paradise Circus (Radio Rip) by Behind Color Bars

Words by Kate Masewich

There’s a new bowling hangout in town at All Star Interactive, which is a sweet alternative to getting smashed in a club no? We think so at least.

The first level of All Star Interactive is called The Eglinton Suite. It has a traditional ambience with glow in the dark lanes, kitchen, cocktail dining and bar. More playful in design and function, it has a high energy feel and can accommodate a capacity of 120 people. It is the perfect space for cocktail receptions, meet and greets and casual events.

Just steps away and located on the second level is the luxury event space called The Danforth Suite. It features an elegantly designed lounge and bar with 12 stunning bowling lanes of a more modern design. The walls are decorated with creative bowling themed artwork that was specially commissioned for All Star Interactive by a Canadian contemporary artist. The Danforth Suite event space is sophisticated in style and captures the important playful element of All Star Interactive. This unique venue space is well equipped to handle big events with a formal dining seating capacity for 90 people and a cocktail reception capacity for 130 people. It is the perfect environment to host Team Building, Strategy Meetings, Training Sessions, Sales Meetings, Customer Appreciation Events, Fundraisers, Year-end Gatherings and so much more.

It’s located at 2791 Eglinton Ave. E. which is accessible by subway and car. Get on it.

Ladies and gents we are please to announce one of our newest features:

#HumpDayHandout !!

“What is it?”, you ask? Every week from now until eternity we will be giving away something super awesome every Wednesday.

The prizes can range from rad concert tickets to not-yet-released albums and other great swag!

All you have to do is stay tuned to the PinkMafia blog and twitter (@pinkmafia4life) every Wednesday for the simple scavenger hunt through the blog which will secure you the prize (and all the glory).

Happy hunting!

Lesley and I had 2 days off (what a way to start a tour) since we last touched base.  Poor Lesley’s been suffering from a cold.  I’ve spent those days up to my eyes in meetings.  And when I wasn’t in meetings, I was collecting parking tickets.  Blonde hair doesn’t seem to get me out of those.

This was the groovy ride I was given to accomplish my tasks.  It’s what would happen if a smart car and a mini cooper had baby.

The last few dates have been quite uneventful as far as touring goes, and especially for a Blondes tour.  I even contemplated eating some chicken wings listed on the menu after our gig at Fanshawe College – 6 suicide wings and if you could eat them all, you’d get your photo on the wall.  Didn’t do it.  I’m blonde, not crazy.

Unfortunately, due to unforeseeable circumstances beyond our control, our Windsor show was cancelled at the last minute.  And so, with nothing but an extra 12 hours of time on our hands, we spent the night in a movie theater with another favorite blonde, Ryan Gosling.

On our way to London (Ontario…people keep asking me when I got to the UK, so I feel I need to start making the geographical location a lot clearer), Lesley and I decided it was time for this tour to have a theme song.  You’ll need to stay tuned (ha – no pun intended) for that future hit song written on the 401.

Tomorrow is our last show, and then back to the left coast I go.  It’s been a blast, to say the least.  Time flies when you’re having fun and since blondes DO have more fun, it’s been double speed .

This Canadian beauty (birth name, Béatrice Martin) has bestowed upon us the answers to our always red-hot 20 Questions. She was a member of a “post-hardcore” band (if you don’t think what that is click here) at 15 so you can image that this girl has cajones. She is also a true beauty and has been playing piano since she was 3. Oh, and she speaks French. This is who you want to bring home for family dinner and then to Sneaky Dee’s with your besties. Her sophmore album is out on November 8th, titled “Blonde” featuring her amazing vocals. She co-produced it with Howard Bilerman (Arcade Fire, Basia Bulat, The Dears), so you can imagine the radness that it will hold. Enjoy her answers!

1. What is your dream of happiness? 

Besides feeling fulfilled in every possible way and in love with life? I don’t know, unicorns in a meadow perhaps.

2. Blonde or Brunette?

That’s a trick question. Blonde, obviously.

3. What is the quality you like most in a person? 

Honesty.

4. What do you fear most?

Loneliness

5. 808s or 909s?

808s

6. What’s your biggest regret? 

Not taking spanish in high school.

7. What’s your fav bar or club in the world?

Montana, in Paris

8. What’s the one thing you can’t live without?

My ipod.

9. What are the 3 musicians dead or alive you’d like to see perform? 

Elliot Smith, Leonard Cohen, Jacques Brel

10. What is your favorite decade in music?

The 60s.

11. If you had to choose, would you rather go blind or deaf and why?

Well, knocking on wood for neither but I’d go blind. It’s panicking to not be able to hear anything…

12. How old is too old? 

Um….

13. Where do you see yourself in 15 years?

In a meadow with unicorns, and hopefully still singing and playing tunes and making songs you’ll want to make love to and stuff.

14. Who’s your hero?

My dad.

15. What’s your favourite colour?

Teal

16. What song could you live without ever hearing again? 

TONIGHT’S GONNA BE A GOOD GOOD NIIIIIGHT.

17. Metallica or Madonna?

Neither.

18. What’s your most hated vice?

Um…not sure i follow but i don’t like it when I get jealous

19. Who is the most tragic figure in history?

Mozart

20. What are the top three live shows you’ve seen in your life?

Phoenix, Arcade Fire, Bedouin Soundclash

the Best Friend Forever asked:

I have a friend who is 26 and still lives at home with his mom wearing dirty socks and watching TV. He seems to think finding a girlfriend will help him get a job. But obviously you need a job before you can get a girl. I’m worried he’s going to get too desperate/lazy soon (as in, craigslist connection desperate) and catch something nasty from one of those girls. We’ve been best buds since middle school and I feel it’s my responsibility to help him out. Any suggestions?

Mica says:

Hey BFF,

Kudos for having the bromance thing down pat.

Sharing is caring!

Here are the 3 steps you should probably have your buddy follow to get him off of the couch and out into the world:

Step 1. Get a Job 

Establish whether this dude is good looking or not. Is he tall? Handsome? Free of leftover teen acne? If the answer is yes, your friend may be able to finagle a girl to (somehow) fall for him, and foolishly help him get a job.

If he only has one of the 3 main attractions – other than “personality” – then he’s probably out of luck for the easy way out of this option (girl help). You need to help this man get a job. Stat. Craigslist has tons of entry level jobs, construction jobs, moving jobs (if he has a driver’s licence, this might be the way for him to buff up and make dough). If anything, send the poor kid over to the City of Toronto’s Employment Services department. Seeing all the skilled workers with no jobs might scare him straight.

Step 2. Get out of Dodge

Does his mother coddle him? Chances are if he’s sitting at home in dirty tighty greyies (when the tighty whiteys age), his momma loves to have him there eating all her food, contributing nothing and grunting in response to her questions.

Once he can get through Step 1 and save enough money to move, why not suggest you get a place together? Unless you’re worried he’ll turn you into his new mommy…

Step 3. Get Laid

This friend of yours is clearly been lacking real contact with any woman other than his mother. Maybe craigslist IS what he needs…a disease, maybe not. If anything, why not have your padre come out with you and your friends one night (after bathing, shaving, manscaping of course) and at least pretend he has a chance at snagging a girl. That way he can go home smelling faintly of beer and cigarettes, proud that he gave it a try.

And if he gets even the slightest bit of action – and I’m talking about conversing with a girl – you will go down in his books as the best friend you are. Plus, he can use this opportunity to go for a job interview the next day looking, smelling, feeling like a million bucks.

email your questions to askmica@pinkmafia.ca and stay tuned for your answers!

Spank Rock is many things to many people.  He is the exceptionally well-turned-out chap from Baltimore who was one half of the dirty hip-hop electro group with XXXChange.  To others, he’s a smart fashionable young man having made a cameo recently in some Alexander Wang ad’s with artist Santigold (see below).  Pink Mafia was lucky enough to have a chat with Naeem Juwan to find out more about his new album (Everything is Boring and Everyone is a Fucking Liar), the Check Yo Ponytail tour (with the Death Set and Big Freedia) and the music industry.

Pink Mafia: Let me apologize in advance if I’m coughing or sniffling.  I’m actually just getting over a cold.

Spank Rock: Ya, you do sound pretty stuffed up.  Kinda mousey too.

Pink Mafia: (laughs) Hahaha.  That’s great.  I’m going to Check Yo Ponytail tour stop in Brooklyn on October 28.  Making the trek all the way from Toronto.

Spank Rock: Really?  That’s so dope.  We are still trying to figure out Halloween costumes for that show.  What should I dress up as?

Pink Mafia: Itchy & Scratchy?  You know, going back to the whole me sounding mousey thing.

Spank Rock:  (laughs) Yaya. That could work.

Pink Mafia: It has been five years since you released the widely acclaimed electro rap debut album YoYoYoYoYo.  Have you been working on the new album Everything is Boring and Everyone is a Fucking Liar all this time?  What have you been doing the last five years?

Spank Rock: I’ve spent at least two years touring, all over the country and all over the world.  I spent about one year putting the album together.  So I wasn’t working it for the entire time.  However, with all the label changes and lawyers – things did get pushed back a lot more than they should have.

Pink Mafia: With the album, the sound really drifts between Baltimore, Southern bass, electro and hip hop.  But within all of that, you speak to politics, ambivalence and swag. Was there a certain message you were trying to get out through the album?

Spank Rock: You know, for me making the album, I just try to make music that feels right at the moment.  It’s kind of an emotional process and a little bit bi-polar.  So sometimes it’s harder to make an album that is just one type of album with one type of message.  The album ends up being all over the place. It’s just where my influence was at that day.

Pink Mafia: So between the first album and your current album, you were dropped from Downtown Records.  I know there is probably a lot of fact and fiction out on the Internet.  Care to clear anything up or share your experience?

Spank Rock: You know, the split was pretty amicable. But to be honest, it was still pretty sad.  For a lot of new artists out there, you sign to a label and you feel safe and confident.  You have this whole new confidence about you and you want to make the best music possible for you and for the label.  But then, when people at the label come up to you and start pitching ideas to you about how your music should be behind different advertising campaigns that don’t really align with your music or personal beliefs, you start to wonder “Did I make the right choice?”. That’s really when things started to fall apart.  I mean, the music industry is all just a numbers game.

Pink Mafia: It’s funny, I spoke with Freddie Gibbs before and he pretty much said the same thing you are saying.  That after being dropped by his label Interscope, he understood what it was like to hustle and work as an independent artist.  Now he’s gotten so much more buzz as an independent artist and the labels are back knocking on his door.

Spank Rock:  That’s just it.  The labels will love you one day when they think you’re going to be able to do something for them. It’s just a numbers game to them.  But a lot of new artists are just happy to get a deal. Sometimes though, it’s not the best choice.

Pink Mafia:  OK, so I have to admit.  I love following your SpankandBlank (@SpankandBlank) twitter account with Amanda Blank.  It’s hilarious.

Spank Rock:  Really?  Thanks.  You’ll have to thank Amanda for all the funny stuff.  Basically neither Amanda nor myself wanted to do the whole social media tip.  But while we were at Miami Winter Music Conference, all our friends were joining Twitter.  So I told Amanda, the only way I’m doing this is if you are doing it too.  So we ended up making an account together.  I’d have to say that Amanda is like my better half.  She really gets me.  She is definitely one of my best friends.

Pink Mafia: Tell me a little bit more about the Check Yo Ponytail tour.  How did it all come to be?  The lineup is pretty stacked.

Spank Rock:  Well, you know.  The Death Set dudes and I have toured together before.  We’re kinda like the Partridge Family with Big Freedia in the mix.  The shows themselves are a lot of good energy, dancing and craziness.