Name: Kenzie Clarke Occupation: DJ Biggest turn on: Sense of Humour Biggest turn off: Zero intelligence City: Victoria How long have you lived there?: 6years Why do you call it home? After having a random sampling of other local cities (read: Nanaimo), I decided that Victoria was best suited to my needs (school and shopping and social life). Best spot...if you're ballin: For a meal: Billy's Bistro 14 Centennial Square 250-384-2459 or Whitebird 768 Yates Street 250-380-7040 To shop: Johnson St. boutiques For a date: Il Terazzo 555 Johnson Street 250-361-0028 Best spot...if you're broke: For a meal: Hernandez on Yates (5 amazing tacos for 5 bucks=win!!) 734 Yates St. 250-382-5145 To Shop: Decade 1407 Government Street 250-380-0774 or...

It started off pretty innocent. We grabbed Wax Romeo/Mandeep and Kenzie and headed off to Edmonton. After we made a quick stop to cruise the Dub before hitting the road, the shit started to go south. First Mandeep started doing impressions of brown people for us until we nearly peed our pants. Once we arrive in Edmonton, we're told it's the Rodeo so all the hotels are booked and our Hotel, The Holiday Inn Express has lost our reservation (turns out we got bumped to the West Edmonton Mall location a half hour drive...

As I write this blog entry, we’re flying through Red Deer en route to Edmonton listening to Huey Lewis and the News, “Heart And Soul” which is somehow fitting for the prairies. “Hot lovin’ every night” is right Huey.

Where do I start? Getting out of K-Town was rough to say the least. After tearing that joint a new one, we had little to spare for MTL. We stayed with Angelo, our resident hotel and best bud.

Bitchin’ stayed with Matt Rose, who has some sweet crosswords in his bathroom if you...

I would write a review, but I wouldn't hold a candle to our resident amazing photog, Krist Papas. He made all the shit club district people at CiRCA look hot, and the hot people look edible. This guy could turn Paris Hilton into something worth bedding in a snap of hist shudder. How do you like these apples? Photos:...

Oh Toronto, we started off with the best of intentions. Promises were made, then quickly broken and then forgotten like McDonalds refuse thrown from a car window on the highway.

I’ll just cut to the chase here and give you the rundown of the kickoff party at CiRCA. First off, Pink Mafia threw in an iPod battle to sweeten the deal. Teams Cease & Desist, Oligarchy, 3D Specs and Famous Players battled it out while Bitchin’ kept on the ones and twos.

Everyone who has ever lived in Montreal will tell you the women are gorgeous, the weather is brutal and everyone sleeps around like the world is about to end. It's a town filled with student/artist-living, perpetually in it's early twenties at any age. Montreal, much like Mexico, is a beautiful place to visit. I would be lying through my teeth if I said we took it easy on the French. We weren't gentle with the the Calgary-cowboys or the Van-mandals or the Bore-ontonians, I can't see why we'd take it any easier on a bunch of womanizing alcoholics. Truthfully,...

We rolled into Toronto like syphilis making a comeback. Having only slept two hours before leaving Deadmonton, and getting seated in kiddie playland on the four hour plane ride, we separated right quick to find dark corners to die in. After a solid 14 hour catch up nap and a few half-assed remorsefully alcoholic promises never to wrestle that rider again, we were back in the saddle, this time joined by DJ Barbi and rap-pop group, The Royal Society. Oh Wrongbar, there ain't nothing wrong about you. You're like sex on wheels...

Holy Edmonton was cold! Shit bitch, get some summer up in there quick. We asked some locals what people do in Edmonton and they responded, "try not to get beat up and huff gas". Rough is an understatement. The Pawn Shop is the spot there and Ryan hooked us up proper DJs Short N' Sweet opened for us. They are both of those things. Mad  shout out to Lydia who is the dopest jam in Deadmonton by far. On a side note, Fierce Helder is a big hit with the everyone on this tour. First she picked up sandals man at the liquor store in...