The tales of a Canadian Girl living in Southern Virginia…

With today being September  11^th  I have been looking forward to  the American versus Muslim type  stories to rear.  And they have been—especially with the Mosque sorry, Muslim community center , in the midst at Ground Zero.  One article in particular that caught my eye was a story that broke from the Associated Press about the staging of “International Burn a Quaran Day”.  Rev. Terry Jones who spearheads an evangelical Christian church out of Gainesville, Florida plans to torch copies of the Islamic holy text today.  OK, I get it, he’s a little P.O.’d about what went down in New York and the shit that hit the fan afterwards.  The article stated that the government has “turned up the pressure” warning the anti-Muslim reverend that his bonfire “could endanger U.S. troops and Americans everywhere”. 

Let me blow my match out now.  If we’re a quaran blaze away from invasion, shouldn’t we be a little bit concerned?  Does the White House and the State Department really believe than whether or not we set these holy books on fire that it will diminish the Muslim terrorist desire to blow us off the face of the planet?  I think not—and this is coming from a peaceful Canadian.

I recently watched a documentary called Obsession which references the quaran throughout and all I have to say is: if the word-for-word bullshit in there is being followed through, our civilization as we know it—American or not—is fucked.

Let me pose this question?  What about the countless American flags that are being set on fire and then paraded through the streets, filmed, and then posted on the internet?  Hey, if I had testicles large enough I would open up an American flag store in Iraq—I’d probably turn a pretty good profit, and then have my head cut-off, but you can’t win them all.

I understand that we have left close to 50,000 American troops behind, and now Obama is looking to tread much lighter post “Operation Iraq Freedom” but already on Tuesday the first servicemen were killed.  I say, if the reverend wants to burn his quarans let him, it’s his prerogative.  Whether or not the government steps in, he’s going to do it anyway, it’s his right, and it’s his freedom.  The future of Americans and Muslims does not rest on a bonfire that some hick is going to light up.  It comes down to stopping the radical infiltration in the Western world.  If burning quarans grabs the attention of the government I say throw in an extra copy for me, because I sure as hell will not bow down to covering up for Allah.

This is what can happen when an uber-adventurous artsy space-case tries to conquer the world.

1. A few spring’s ago after a 2 week coastal road trip to Georgia, I did the unthinkable. The night before flying back to Toronto, after an attempted cleanse during the trip, I mega over-indulged in low grade vodka at a local watering-hole in rural PA. It didn’t help that my American friend was buds with the bartender, so things were doubles and triples. No time to sleep it off, and up and at ‘em at the crack of dawn to pack, I left my guest room in a horrible mess (sorry Jess!) and needed a puke break en route to PHL that only held me over until the freeway. With nowhere to stop and a major ‘white squall’ happening in my stomach, I tried to puke in a plastic bag while sticking my head out the window, going 100 mph. The driver was gaging at my sound effects, so that is why my head was out the car window, and that is why the puke flew back into the car (sorry again, Jess!) and onto my already fresh face.

At the airport, a sassy employee said without a hint of care that I had missed my flight, and an elderly woman helped me to a bench while I hyperventilated, disorientation and nausea taking over. Nursing a hangover in bed with Vice mag is one kind of hell, but attempting the logistics of getting yourself through a huge airport and onto a plane with your carry-on is another. To rub some salt in the wound, I was carrying this stupid huge yoga mat, Pilates ball (deflated) and accessories kit I got for a bargain in the US.

It took me several times to go through customs because I almost vomited on the staff, and would lose my place in line to avoid this. Once past the guards, I needed a personal vehicle to take me to my gate. The ride in the cart was hellish, and as the driver sped through the airport, with my back facing him I projectiled on the airport floor as we zoomed by people waiting for their flights, all through PHL. I’m talking pro-jec-tile, think garden hose. I kept trying to chug gatorade so my puke was just clear, and bright purple.

Horrible turned heavenly when once I boarded my plane, the sun beamed down on me, angels played trumpets, and the man sitting next to me turned out to be a doctor, and gave me medical attention on the flight home.

2. The other day I ordered pizza, and then realized I had lost my bank card, and had no cash on me. That was pretty bad.

3. When I finished high school I moved to a tropical island (St. Croix, US Virgin Islands) for about a year. I volunteered on an organic farm, became a living antioxidant, perfected my ocean-swimming, and had a brief psychotic relationship with a Lion-Tribe Hebrew-Israelite Militant Jew who thought he was the next Eminem/Charles Manson. Towards the end, I’m sure you can understand a born’n'raised city girl needed a break. So I hopped on a tiny sea plane, which took me from my serene farm community on a piddly island to the Caribbean’s biggest city, San Juan, Puerto Rico, population 2 millie. My brain pretty much exploded.

But I wasn’t in the city just yet – The Puerto Rican border guards had a hard time understanding why I had spent the last 8 months volunteering on a farm (to them, farm = grow-op), didn’t get paid (other then with a swank cabana and more coconuts than Jersey Shore), wasn’t even from the states, and had hundreds of dollars in cashish stuffed everywhere in my bag (inherited money; Jew perk). In that moment of being detained in a scorching “security room” -metal shack- it hit me how bad my story must’ve seemed. They kept asking if I had ever done cocaine before, and spent a good couple hours searching my record, my bags and making me sweat. They were kinda cute.

It turns out most of the world’s cocaine comes from Bolivia, Colombia and Peru, and a lot of it passes through “The Caribbean Corridor” – The islands where I was staying and Puerto Rico. That’s where people get it and take it back to the states, where it eventually reaches us in Toronto, filled with 90% baby aspirin. Anywhoo, bad part of the world to be wandering around “finding yourself”. My bicycle and debit-only Canadian lifestyle meant nothing to them.

I found myself in some doo-doo. Suddenly my red gingham capris and pin-up-girl plane makeup didn’t feel so cool. I knew deep down my story was legit, but from their perspective I screamed all kinds of sketchy. They must have taken pity on me, didn’t deport me back to Canada and we worked out an unspoken agreement that I would give them my stash of ativans and they would let me go into their great city where I did TONS of incredible $5 cocai ena off the bodies of delicious hunks.

4. One time in Toronto I went home with this musician/photographer dude who seemed ok enough to maybe be his friend. I’m good at drawing that line clear and he said he had weed. As soon as we got to his place he put Sesame Street on his huge flatscreen TV and left the room, only to return wearing an adult diaper with his bottle sticking out. Before I stood up and left, he jumped in my lap like a baby and tried to suck on my teet, while giggling and looking at the screen. His sexy talk was him speaking like a typical gay little boy, high voice, lisp, the whole bit, and he would say things like “You’re so hot, with your big glasses, ooooh ahhhh”. Let’s just say I got my heiny outta there, but not before laughing hysterically. Sometimes I see him on the street and I hide behind a garbage can.

5. I got the flu right after starting a new dog walking job and my pride prevented me from calling in sick. I toughed it out, walking dogs around town with an increasing fever and biking from one neighbourhood to the next all day and then guh – I get hit by a car biking at Queen and Spadina. Luckily, no injuries, just scared shitless and even more delirious and feverish then before, but couldn’t waste any time crying in an alley, had to go go go! Horrible Day.

Lioness recently embarked on a 3 day jaunt through the States and let us get a peak of their life on the road.

LIONESS take on America – DAY 1

We decided to leave Wednesday night to beat the border heat before our first American show in Philly. We ended up waiting four hours for our visas. We were planning to drive half way and ended up only in Williamsville at the Garden Place Hotel. We were starving from the wait and thankful to find a 24 hour Timmy Ho’s. The gold lions lead us to our room.

DAY 2 – Philly here we come!

We get up and ready ourselves for the 3-hour drive. Then the burning smell… I thought it was the smell of Philly in the summer, but as we pull into the Holiday Inn beside the stadium, the parking attendant informs us that our van is smoking. MF. Our show is in a few hours and we have enough gear for five people. We call the promoter for the show and explain what a great start to our trip this was. Thank the tour gods! Kung Fu Necktie had a cargo van. We load up the van and as we pull out onto the street we notice about fifteen cops and a tarp with a body under it, and a pool of blood surrounding it. I take back the thanks, South Philly, what? We made it, and the show was amazing! We stayed up late learning Philly slang and sayings. “If your v-neck is lower than your necklace, you’re a douche. And saying, “Blow you” when you disagree with someone.

DAY 3 – NO SLEEP TILL BROOKLYN

Nothing like going to bed at 5:30 and walking up at 7:30 to take the van in. We have a full day of waiting and hoping we’ll make it to New York. Steven the promoter from the show takes us to a great place for breakfast where Ian the dj from Night Train comes to meet us in the shitty limo. No mini bar, broken cassette tape, broken locks and no AC – what a sweet ride.

$850.00 later we have new brakes and we are on our way. Good-bye Philly, I will miss you and your kind souls and dead bodies. Hello Brooklyn, I love your free pours and four o’clock last call.

After the show there was a karaoke party. It as fun to watch people belt out Metallica and Jay-Z “In New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of…” I sang Fleetwood Mac’s Dreams.

Lioness Take Manhattan – DAY 4

Although eating 99-cent pizza & pretzel M&M’s seems like a good late night idea you end up having nightmares about being dragged under a red car and watching someone’s intestine’s turn into silk worms and pour from their stomach. Jeff had a strange dream too. It was about our friend Devon from YSP! And in the morning we found out he had recently stayed in the same room, in the same apartment. We talk about our visions over coffee and breakfast, then ventured into the lower east side. Hell yes!

DAY 5 – Welcome to Canada

QxBxR at Cake Shop was amazing! People danced and sang along, it was a great feeling inside. And now it was time to head back home. We stayed with the best cat. Stopped in Syracuse on the way back, crossed the border at midnight. And ended our epic 3 day American tour.

There’s more fun on the road coming. Stay tuned for the next round…

Pink Mafia asked us to write a tour blog, and we said yes but really it’s a little illusory – the tour was only three shows, and one of them was in Toronto which is where we live. But! It was still a crazy couple of days and as intense as touring gets for us.  Maybe even a little more, because we knew that we were coming home pretty soon.  In any case, here’s how it’s gone down for the first couple of days.

Paul and I just got back from touring Europe on Sunday and after having a couple days rest in our own beds we headed to Calgary on Wednesday (Canada Day) to play at Sled Island, which is a pretty awesome festival all over Calgary. With Sled Island you never really know what you’re going to get because they take over every single venue in the city – and some of them are a little…shitty.  But it doesn’t really matter because the kids come out and we’ve definitely played our fair share of dive bars. It’s kind of like coming home in a weird way.

While there is something romantic about flying across Canada, it goes out the window when you arrive and your gear isn’t there.  Yup, my keytar and synths and drum machines didn’t make it on our plane.  So after checking into the hotel (Hilton! Yes!) we walked around a bit and met up with some Calgary friends. But that’s the thing about touring – there’s always something in the back of your mind that you know you have to be worrying about.  No matter: we made our way to Tubby Dog, which is the best fucking hot dog joint we’ve ever been to (and sadly, we’ve been to a ton).

Air Canada told us they’d deliver our gear to our venue in a cab – assuming that it was really on the next flight out.  So we did as we were told and showed up on time to the venue, which was as suspected a hilariously divey basement bar. It was only hilarious, though, until we met our sound guy.  There’s a this really weird feeling that you get when you walk into a club and realize that the sound guy is insane. It’s like the whole purpose of your life has just been compromised and there’s nothing you can do about it.  You could be playing the hottest show of your life but if the sound guy is crazy, it just doesn’t matter. So when he walked up to us, angry for some reason and sounding like he hadn’t been out of the bar in 30 years, we started getting sketched out.  Here’s a picture of him (we wanted to protect his identity a little bit):

I think he’s trying to turn up the suck in this picture.  Anyways, the beautiful thing is that just in the middle of talking to him, I get a text from Matt Lederman – our touring sound guy – who out of the blue says that he’s coming to Calgary tonight! Turns out that he is doing sound for !!! (also known as chk chk chk) for our show together the next night and he was getting in early. So we beg Matt to save us from the luddite who is going to do our sound and he agrees, on the condition that we buy him some bourbon.  Seems fair. After that, we roll upstairs and wait until, like a vision from heaven, a cab rolls up with all of our gear inside.  Sweet, sweet relief.

The show was pretty amazing and there’s still, after all these years, something really special about hearing people sing your lyrics back to you.  We debuted some new material too, and there was so much love in the room that by the end of it we were on a serious high.  I did elbow a girl in the face by accident, but hugged her during a crowd charging session during the last song so I think we’re square.  The bar (Vern’s Tavern) was conducive to sweaty crowd participation and we definitely shared some sweat with our fans.  It was dirty and delightful.

It’s funny, before a show I always feel like there’s no way I’m going to be able to make it on stage.  I get crazy exhausted, like my body’s anticipating the energy that’s about to be expended, and I am 100% positive that I’m going to play the show and go straight to bed.  Never works like that though! As soon as we finish our shows all I want to do is party with Paul and whoever else is around. After the show at Vern’s, we owed Matt for saving our asses so we wanted to give him the best night of his life, which ended up being a hilarious house party featuring reams of home brew beer, tents in the backyard, and a really, really stupid jam session.  I was given a synth that had no notes on it and I contributed less than zero.  Did I mention we were really drunk? That might have had something to do with it. Anyways, Matt started to fall asleep around 5AM so we grabbed a cab back to the hotel and tried to get enough sleep to seize the day.  We had another show the next night, and because days that don’t include hours in a van are such a luxury on tour, we were intent on making the most of it.  Fingers crossed the hangover isn’t so bad…

Oh yeah – did we mention the amazing Canada Day fireworks?

I can’t believe it’s that time of year again. It seems like just yesterday that we were all losing our heads over the fact that Fucked Up had won the coveted Polaris Prize.

Well, I had the opportunity to swing by the Drake Hotel yesterday for the long-list announcement festivities.

In its 5th year, Polaris has grown into a force to be reckoned with: but I must say, this year I’m a little underwhelmed by the albums who made the long list.

Every year it’s the same formula: a bunch of albums don’t make the list, a bunch do that don’t really “need” the prize, and there’s generally a lot of bickering in the Canadian music scene until September, after which everyone forgets and just celebrates at the after party.

Former Shortlisters Elliott Brood

The Polaris Prize is designed to assist emerging Canadian talent through the provision of a $20,000 prize to help the artist. This can be in any number of forms: Patrick Watson used it on his van that was stolen, Caribou produced a new record, and Fucked Up recorded a charity single to support murdered & missing Aboriginal women’s charities.

Last year's Polaris Winner Pink Eyes from Fucked Up

This year, Polaris decided to bring back a few of their previous nominees to make the announcements, including Jill Barber, Elliott BROOD, D-Sisive and Fucked Up–some of the notable nominations include: Basia Bulat’s Heart of My Own, Frog Eyes’ Paul’s Tomb: A Triumph, Shad’s TSOL, and The Wooden Sky’s If I Don’t Come Home You’ll Known I’m Gone.

D-Sisive Helps Present the List

You can check out the long-list here. The short list of ten finalists will be announced July 6th, so stay tuned.

NXNE is in town and not only does the festival promise hotshot bands from all over the world but it also mans extended serving hours! In honor of keeping the party going we’ve compiled the PinkMafia Best of 4am Guide for NXNE.

Wednesday June 16

If your weekend warrior status starts on a Wednesday, the Bovine Sex Cub is starting off the after hour splendor at 2AM on Wednesday with performances by Victim Party, The Decay, The Cavaliers and DIY it up. We can’t make any promises but there’s a good chance that Eagles of Death Metal are going to make an appearance after they hit Cherry Cola’s of course.

Thursday June 17

For a big night of electro-disco fun check out Junior Boys at The Social, “In the Morning” was the blitzed to the point of swaying  summer song for ’09 so be ready to hear even more body bashing beats (FYI, they are supposed to go on at 12:30AM, so this is technically NOT a 2-4 but still pretty dope). Toronto’s own TAPEDECKBROS will bet at El Mocambo. Let the ass shaking commence.

Friday June 18

Friday night is big jam night so should plan on hitting as many spots as you can. Duo Torro Torro are hitting up Gladstone Hotel Ballroom (3AM).

Dakota Tavern is featuring a “special guest” which in my books usually means something rad and too big too announce because it’ll screw up their much bigger show wink wink.  HUORATRON  will be at Wrongbar late night for the Last Gang showcase. Choosing your venue is just a matter of personal taste.

If there’s one piece of news that has blown my mind it’s ED effing LOVER at The Drake along with DJ Fase and 84.85. If you’re unfamiliar with Ed Lover, he is the king of 90′s hip hop (he hosted Yo! MTV Raps) and scroll down for his recent Youtube fame.

Wherever you end up going throughout the night, a good bet is to do last call at the Bovine, the guest hasn’t been listed as of yet but every year they have the best mix of well-mannered city (read: not morons from out of town or the dreaded suburbs) and local as well as bigger out of town artists co-existing/mingling in boozy bliss.

Saturday June 19

For final wrap up we’re giving you two pieces of advice: One: Don’t start too early, this is an endurance sport not a relay. Two: check out one of these two for guaranteed satisfaction.  Classixx (LA) + Hatchmatik at the Drake.

Bassilicious PARTY LIKE US RECORDS are throwing AC Slater, B. Rich, and Udachi all under one roof at The Social. It’s sure to be one of the biggest events of NXNE

If you make it til Tuesday without a 3 day hangover. Gold star.

Click on the image below for the downloadable version:

Ok the summer ‘s here and you’re ready to finally embrace the sun and start the tanning sessions as  don’t deny it, everything looks better with a tan. Ok let’s get started! So what is sun protection? It’s basically protecting the body from the adverse effects of sunlight. Aside from the hazards of heat, the sun poses the danger of sunburn, which can permanently damage the skin and cause skin cancer, precancerous changes in the skin, as well as premature wrinkling and signs of aging. Exposure to ultraviolet rays from the sun is a known risk factor for the development of both melanoma and non-melanoma skin cancers

However; you might be confused by all the sun protection products available out there which exist in all formats. Sunscreen is any substance or material that protects the skin from UV radiation. Sunscreens are available as lotion, cream, ointment, gel, or spray that. can be applied to the skin. Now, most of you have heard of SPF as it’s usually specified on sun protection products. SPF, an abbreviation for sun-protection factor, is a number such as 15, 30, or 50 that indicates the degree of sunburn protection provided by sunscreens. Essentially the higher number just means you can stay out longer in the sun without getting burned. For broad protection, look for sunscreens with avobenzone, zinc oxide or titanium dioxide, all of which block UVA. For every day use choose sunscreens that are at least SPF 30as anything higher doesn’t provide that much added benefit. It takes a lot of sunscreen to actually achieve the stated level on the tube! For some reason I always thought you needed a teaspoon of sunscreen for your face, but it turns out you only need 1/4 or 1/3 of a teaspoon to adequately cover your face. A shot glass of sunscreen is what you need to cover your whole body. For more in depth information on
specific sunscreens, check out this link.

In summary, tanning is not really healthy but moderate and safe exposure to the sun is healthy, providing necessary vitamin D.    Therefore following these 3 steps will ensure you’re being as healthy as possible when trying to achieve that bronzed look:

Step 1. Repair your tan and seek alternatives to the sun
•       If you frequent the tanning salon, give it up immediately. Look at the tanning bed as a carcinogenic, a concentrated dose of dangerous UV rays at point-blank range.
•       Repair damaged skin. Use a topical treatment that contains vitamin A. • If you can’t give up on that glow, opt for an alternative. Try bronzer. It will help you achieve a similar look without posing any of the cancer risks. Bronzers are a safe option because they sit on the top of the skin (as opposed to being absorbed by the skin). Do not go spray-tanning. The microparticles in the spray can be inhaled and may irritate the lungs. Avoid self-tanners; some of the active browning ingredients in self-tanners may damage the DNA of skin cells.

Step 2: Limit sunbathing to a few hours a day, be sensible, don’t bake in the sun!

Step 3: Choose that sunscreen carefully. The single best ingredient in a sunscreen is zinc oxide; the second best is titanium dioxide.  And on a more serious note check some frightening skin cancer facts, it’ll make you think twice about using sunscreen!

Same old story. You do all the work and prep and Mr. Macho man gets to be caveman for a day and stand around with his stupid little tongs and his still warm PBR and take care of the serious business of grilling. Eff. That. Noise. Grab your spatula’s ladies. Barbecue season doesn’t have to be all beards, burgers, and beer. you can totally have a healthy girls night around the barbecue without the gristle. We made grilled tomato bruschetta, glazed salmon, and grilled peaches with sweet coconut cream.

Grilling the tomatoes releases lycopene, a strong antioxidant.  Salmon is chockfull of every health benefit available and is one of the easiest fish to find wild as opposed to farm raised, the mercury levels in salmon are a lot lower too. Grilli9ng the peaches caramelizes their natural sugars, coconut is a wonder food in that it can actually briefly elevate your metabolism (cha-ching), and agave nectar has a much lower effect on blood sugar levels than traditional sweeteners.

Grilled Tomato Bruschetta

4 tomatoes quartered

1 package grape or cherry tomatoes

1 package small mixed heirloom tomatoes, halved if large

Extra-virgin olive oil

1 clove garlic

1 whole- wheat baguette cut into slices

Basil

Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper

1. Light a grill. Arrange four 12-by-24-inch sheets of heavy-duty foil on a work surface. Mound the tomatoes in the center of each sheet, drizzle with the olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Fold up the foil to create tight packets.

2. Set the packets on the grill and cover. Grill over moderately high heat for about 18 minutes, until the tomatoes begin to soften and burst.

3. While the tomatoes cook rub each slice of bread with the clove of garlic brush lightly with olive oil and grill each side until light grill marks appear. Set aside

4. Using scissors, carefully cut open the foil packet  avoiding steam. Spread baguette slices with tomatoes and top with basil if desired

Glazed Salmon

1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

1/4 cup prepared horseradish, drained

2 tablespoons honey

Four 6-ounce skinless salmon fillets

Vegetable oil, for rubbing

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

1.Light a grill. In a small bowl, mix the mustard, horseradish and honey. Rub the salmon with oil and season with salt and pepper.

2.Grill the salmon over moderate heat, skinned side down, until lightly browned, about 3 minutes. Turn and grill for 3 minutes longer, until the salmon is almost cooked through. Turn the salmon again and spread each fillet with 1 tablespoon of the horseradish glaze. Turn and grill until glazed, about 30 seconds. Serve the remaining glaze on the side.

Grilled Peaches with Sweetened Coconut Cream

3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

6 peaches, halved and pitted

Honey/ Agave Nectar

1 can light coconut milk

1. In a bowl whisk together coconut milk and honey to desired sweetness

2. In another small bowl, stir the melted butter with the remaining honey. Grill peaches over moderate heat, turning once, until the fruit is tender, about 6 minutes. Baste the peaches with the butter and continue to grill, turning once and basting again, until caramelized and slightly charred, about 2 minutes longer.

3. Transfer the grilled fruit to plates. Pour the coconut mixture alongside the fruit and serve.

I am a proud Canadian. It is a distinct pulse that runs through my veins where ever I travel to, be it in the True North Strong and Free or even in the Land of the Free.  Quite recently, my free spirit has travelled with me to Montreal, “Room to Make it Real” and Atlantic City, “Always Turned On”.  Walking through both downtown cores, equally provided excitement and oh la la, but the air in both places felt very different from one another.  The air in Montreal is filled with the sound of Assassin’s Tango played on a solo violin with the smells of cuisine from all over the world dancing around each other.  The air in Atlantic City, smells like succulent seafood, sweet and fresh with the compliment of fried dough.  As I hear the sound of my gladiator sandals tap the famous Atlantic City Boardwalk, simultaneously recognize the sounds of my 5 inch heels clack along Montreal’s rue Crescent.  It’s amazing, only an hour plane ride away and the salt air that clings heavy on my tanning skin, makes me feel as though I am at least an ocean away.

Like Pandora’s Box, both skylines tantalize the eye as to what’s to come.  Just waiting to be discovered and experienced, a playground for all your senses.

The sign of Atlantic City holds true that it is a city that is “Always Turned On!”

Bitchin DJs, Mama Miche and Kenzie Clarke were up in the old Whistler place during umm, that sport festival who’s name we dare not say. They played shows, got down with the locals, had shots and lived to write about it. Special thanks for Rosa for being our fav West Coast Creep and Andrew Mac for the pics!

Some might say that Canadians are a little slow to get the party going, and you know what, they might be right.  That’s not to say that once that party train is rolling, it seems to be careening down the tracks at a breakneck speed while clanging a cowbell in one hand and drinking a beer with the other.  This is one of those MOST FUN EVER kinds of moments.

Our week started Saturday, Feb. 13th in Victoria B.C., as we played host to Sammy Bananas at Hush Nightclub…true to form, the man is bananas…after dropping hit after hit, the bartenders (the only people who’s opinions I trust) declared it a win, and we went off on our merry little way feeling like the first heat of our GOIN’ FOR GOLD tour was a great success.

Sammy Bananas

Because we are open to all forms of culture and expression, we decided to try out this new thing called “Valentines Day”.  Plans of scooter rentals and cruising around the city were kiboshed by all the other bastards who were doing the pseudo-romance thing as well.  So instead we walked along the breakwater (OOOOH!) and then drove to the top of Mount Doug (AHHHHH!).  Our virgin Victoria visitor (in between napping off his hangover in the backseat) was pretty excited by A) the view B) the ocean and C) the fact that he didn’t have to wear more than two layers of clothing.  He was also pretty amazed that our friend has an urban farm with chickens in her backyard, and an old deadhead bus in the back with the Muppet Band Electric Mayhem painted on the side.

After zero negotiation (post dinner wine talk) we decided to take an early ferry over to Vancouver to avoid the much anticipated travel hell on the Sea to Sky highway that would take us up to Whistler.  Dr. Dug, tour manager extraordinaire, had sorted us out with the ‘Golden Ticket’, a pass that would allow our vehicle, and all occupants, access to Whistler without having to rely on the public transit or 1 of the million or so busses that were headed that way.

Rosa & Dr. Doug

We picked up Rosa, our third wife, and were on our way by the afternoon.  Much to our surprise and joy, the highway was perfectly clear, and we were up to Whistler in record time.  After settling in, having a cocktail, staring out the window of the condo we were staying in and wishing we had remembered bathing suits, we discovered the fact that we had to pull a serious marathon set from 930-230.  We decided to take a short cut down blackcomb mountain in order to get to the club on time, and discovered that sneakers and other forms of non-winter footwear are not the tightest equipment to wear while wandering through snow.

We arrived in  Whistler village just as the Fire and Ice show was starting, which was music accompanied by boarders and skiiers doing aerials and jumps through Olympic rings that were on fire.  Miche discovered her long lost family on the way, and was eager to jump over a barricade in order to have her photo taken with them.

From here on in things got a little fuzzy…..We were playing at our favourite haunt (and location of the first Get ‘er Done Tour gig) Maxx Fish Doug re-appeared after killing a bottle of scotch with his Dad; Sammy Bananas, Neoteric and Sam Demoe came by to say hello then our buddy A-Mac wandered over to where they were playing to see Sammy bust a tune on the harmonica, the dance floor was hectic with requests for old school hip-hop, fidget, a guy who was ADAMANT that Daft Punk be played and there were the other female dj’s who wanted to ‘look at our song lists’.

Neoteric, Sammy Bananas, Sam Demoe

Bichin Ladies: Mama Miche & Kenzi Clarke

We headed down to Vangroover in the evening of the next day, catching the most epic of Sunsets and realizing we were trading in any form of good winter olympic type weather for this sunset, so we had better enjoy every last second of it.  Courtesy of our friend/fellow dj/promoter DJ Kraig, we were invited to share the decks and do an opening set with him for the Stanton Warriors surprise second show.

After an amazing meal at Guu (a must visit if you are in Vancouver), we hit the club and had a fantastic evening of breaks and house music. The crowd was smaller, but it made for a tight intimate gathering with some of the biggest names in the breaks biz.

We totally hate having any kind of fun, so it was a good thing that these guys are just so boring and hate to have fun too.

A quick visit with the boys in their penthouse suite (yep life sucks) revealed that finally Vancouver was starting to embrace the fact that the Olympics are happening right in their backyard, and we could see Canadian flags flying from apartments all around us.

The next night had us taking the gondola up Grouse mountain for the Monster Energy Drink party.

Check out this lineup: DJ Fashen, Dave Nada, Neoteric, Mike B., DJ Spyder, and Kid Sister!  All in an amazing apres ski setting overlooking the lights of Vancouver! EPIC!!  There were of course all the treats that come along with fantasmo industry events, such as glasses fashioned from ice, free massive buffet, outdoor Olympics viewing area with couches, but the DJ’s definitely stole the show.  We were all introduced to Moombahton (think 125 bpm slowed to 110…it’s amazing) courtesy of Dave Nada, who also provided various other sources of entertainment for the evening, such as “Tape MIche to the seat of the car while she drives across the Lions Gate Bridge, and while you’re at it tape Kenzie’s arm to Miche’s seat so she’s useless to help”.  We got to hit up an apres courtesy of the Schitzpopinovv crew, and managed to get in a little face time with our fave dude from abroad: DJ Czech.

Czech & Mama Miche

Well 5 days of partying in a row with our favorite friends wasn’t enough. Post Grouse Mountain ice skating party/ Nada tape up / moombahton marathon, we woke up at the River Rock Casino in Richmond. Miche took her hand at the slots but the “Enchanted Unicorn” didnt pay out, instead A-Mac quadrupled his winnings on virtual roulette so he bought our train tickets back downtown and lunch (more beer).

Thursday night, Day 6 was geared up for another night up at Grouse, this time at the chalet with DJ’s Ali-B, Ayres and Rico then another tram ride back down to Shine where Miche and A-Mac checked out the Shaun White Gold Medal Party with Smalltown DJs and Steve Aoki. Shaun wasn’t there because apparently he was flown to Chicago to do Oprah, but we did meet the US bronze medalist for men’s halfpipe and see the medal itself. Ok so Miche didnt exactly see it and doesnt know who these dudes are, but there’s the medal.

Kenny Mack was in the house and that meant shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! That damn LMFAO song will haunt us forever. A post club apres at The Red Bull Lounge was groovy and left Amac and Miche wandering home to Kits.

Friday in the city didn’t slow down, it supersized X a gazillion! Miche’s daughter joined the festivities so quick switch to PG mode, we toured the downtown at night on Granville with the other 7 billion people who thought that would be “fun” to get wasted in Canadian flags and belt out the anthem on repeat.

Then for our last day in Vancouver A-Mac actually checked out a hockey game, the only Olympic-sports related activity to contribute to the week.

Meanwhile Miche and Katie cruised the city on bikes in search of the hot ticket item “Quatchi Toque” they were selling out everywhere. I am sure anywhere outside the downtown core would have a ton of these. In the beautiful +10 sunshiny Best Coast weather we hit the Sea Wall to False Creek to Gastown to Coal Harbour, to Stanley Park and back to Burrard Bridge with a mission accomplished for under $30 CDN.

Click here to see one on Ebay.

All in all – Canada hosting the winter Olympics during the warmest winter on record was pure fun, filth and of course the Most Fun Ever!

I’m all the way in the Manitoba for a summer of fun. My first adventure out in Winnipeg city was a rap concert. I have a weakness for rap, all of it. The good, the bad, the white, the black I want it all. This may also have to do with the fact that I think gangsters are hot. So let me begin, Classified is hot.

Me and my dear friend made our way to The Pyramid around 10:30 to get our rap on. Three of our other friends missed out on the occasion because Ticketmaster said it was sold out, and  The Pyramid said they would not be selling any more tickets at the door. ALL LIES. The crowd was not full and they were selling tickets at the door. So lame. We got over missing our friends, and ordered a drink at the bar to begin to set the tone.

A Winnipeg local rap duo named Dead Indians took to the stage to pump us up. Unfortunately they didn’t. So we just waited around in anticipation for the real deal. A young man took to the stage next. Looking fresh in his white tall tee and LA hat. I say yay it’s Classified. My friend is convinced it’s not him. I’m mezmorised by his rap and dance hard to who I think is Classified. PHYSC it was Jake Boyd, Classified’s younger brother. Ahh yeah he set the tone for the night. The crowd really enjoyed him and everyone’s hand was up in the air! GANGSTA STYLE. After one more opening act Classified took to the stage. He raped for more than an hour. I’m impressed, my friend’s impressed, the crowds impressed. He brought the house down. He is evidently a skilled veteran with 11 albums under his belt. His most recent album, Self Explanatory is his first Major Label release put out with the support  of  Sony BMG. His new song, Is Anybody Listening?, is all over the radio in Winnipeg and I sang along line for line when he finally busted out his new hit single.

The crowd’s energy was high and Classified brought us even higher, literally and metaphorically. The glow from weed was thick in the air and Classified passed around a joint and swigged a couple beers. We were all celebrating his first Friday in Winnipeg together. The concert was a success and now I’m a bigger fan. But that doesn’t mean that the concert was easy to survive. Here is what you need to know if you plan to hit up any of his shows in Ontario or the East Coast.

Tip One: Smoke weed everyday (the whole crowd was high, you might as well join in.)

Tip Two:  Keep your eyes closed (the crowd was a group of people that I would never want to be caught dead hanging out with. I’m talking about boys in Billabong clothes, boys in backwards Billabong hats, girls in Billabong clothes, girls in frontwards Billabong hats. I wasn’t impressed. And standing around with all the biggest losers that you never talked to in high school is enough to make you kick someone. Here’s the truth I ended up kicking someone.)

Tip Three: Know the national anthem (Classified performed a remix version of Oh Canada. Gotta love Canadian pride)

Tip Four: Make out (People jumped on stage, crowd surfed and acted rowdy. But as soon as two girls got up on stage,  the boys started wanting female on female make-out. This is so lame, and makes me want Classified to grow up. )

All in all I enjoyed myself. And will continue to pretend that i’m a rap superstar diva until i’m too old to keep pretending. I think Classified could be huge in the Canadian rap scene, but he REALLY REALLy needs to get a new type of fan. They were bad enough to make me not want to go to another Classified show.

Once you read all about Evan Biddel you will be craving more. We have the solution for you! Head down to Ultra for the officially Evan Biddel after party. It’s only $15 a pop and you’ll even get a showing of his pieces.

Tucked away in a sleepy alleyway somewhere off of Queen West one could stumble upon designer Evan Biddell’s front stoop and most likely not even know it. After a few minutes of searching alleyways and buzzing disgruntled tenants, we found the designer’s loft-turned-studio and were invited in. The laid-back Evan Biddell was surrounded by his personal team who appeared to be discussing his upcoming show in LG Fashion Week. While Biddell’s crew wrapped up the meeting, the photographer Arkan and I had a chance to poke around. The main floor of the studio was chock-full of oversized drafting tables, sewing machines, sketches of and fabric swatches in every colour under the rainbow. Thrown in the mix were a few couches, a coffee table and a fantastic candy apple 50s refrigerator. Biddell quickly shooed the others away and took a few minutes to sit down with Pink Mafia to discuss all things fashionable.

B: Do you have any specific people that inspire you – designers, artists, friends?

E: Yeah, I am really into robots right now. I think they are cool. I have been seeing a pop up in street art and I think it is a result of all of us growing up in the 90s with Transformers. Also living in a city where people get up and do the same thing is almost robotic. It’s as if you don’t have to think about what you’re doing anymore because you have done it so much. We’re on autopilot.

B: Is that what we are going to see in your FW10 collection?

E: The attitude is still going to be strong Biddell; I can’t really take the Biddell out entirely. I am playing with a lot of shapes and geometry. I drew the silhouette from the logo from Transformers. The make-up is inspired by that.

B: Any colours in particular you are focusing in on?

E: They are going to be laser sharp punches of colours, a circuit board of colour if you will.

B: Why do you continue to stay and work in Toronto?

E: I am here because I am in Canada and I had a lot of exposure across the country. As we know, fashion happens in Toronto for Canada. So right now Toronto is the place to be for me and where I am at in my career. I definitely have a lot more exploring to do.

B: What do you think you would be doing if you hadn’t won Project Runway Canada?

E: I was living out west so I would probably still be in Vancouver. I was working in a costume department for film so I might still be doing bits of that.

B: We’re you designing clothing for film?

E: Yeah, I was building clothes. I was a “custom builder”, sounds like carpentry instead of fashion. But Project Runway gave me a career out here and now I’ve got to work!

B: I’ve seen from your collection that sustainability is important to you as a designer.

E: Yeah, I’ve got elements. I have been exploring those fabrics and I feel like in the past two years I’ve almost used all the sustainable fabrics I’ve been able to find. There are about three options out there and I’ve used two and a half of them. Not to say that I’ve exhausted them but fashion is ADD and you have to keep it fresh. I have an appreciation for the fabrics; sustainable fabrics are great to wear every day. They make great pajamas, great sheets but its casual, it’s not as high end as I want to go. For this season if I’m going to be doing robots, I need a stiffer material. I am using this nylon I found with bright colours. I do have a line of sustainable basics coming out and that’s where I think it’s more important to be using those fabrics anyway.

B: So you haven’t attended any formal fashion school. How did you get to where you are today without school? Do you think it’s helped you or hindered you in any way?

E: It’s definitely hindered me now. We just finished our first production and in the factory it was hard trying to communicate technical ideas and speak the language. It’s a little bit tricky when you don’t know where to notch the pattern. There’s some terminology that I don’t know because I never went to school. As for as creativity goes, I know that I don’t make the most commercial clothes. I wasn’t taught a way to make clothes, so it’s a little bit more creative the way I do it. Say if someone taught me how to make a proper pair of pants, then that’s how I would be making pants rather than the way I make them now. I don’t think it’s been one or the other to the extreme.

B: Run me through a day in the life of Evan Biddell.

E: Lately it’s been waking up, brushing the teeth, getting my Starbucks and jumping on the TTC to the factory. I overlook production which means making sure my samples are being cut and seeing what’s coming back from the factory as far as sewing goes. Then I tag the clothes, stick stickers on the hangtags and pin them to the clothes. We just shipped our first order last week to Kuwait and we are going to be shipping our next order over to Queen Street West; Pho Pa has bought it. Then I come home to my studio that I live in. Right now I am working on my fall collection so I do my work until late in the night until two and then hit the hay.

B: Do you take a break after fashion week?

E: Yes. I usually work really hard for a couple months and then I take a couple of months off.

B: Do you follow trends? Do you believe in following trends?

E: I think trends are okay. I think it would be boring to be a little too trendy. I definitely pay attention to what’s going on out there, I think that’s what trends are. You need to know what the other guys are doing. For example shoulder pads are hot right now, so if I was to do shoulder pads next year when everyone had done them this year then I would be shooting myself in the foot. So it is good to know what’s happening. Same thing goes for doing something a little too early. I did the drop crotch and then all of a sudden it was everywhere, so then I thought maybe I should do it again. Last season I kind of had it across the board and now this season I only have a couple. I still think it’s cool and I am not just doing it for the trend, but I don’t want to exhaust it because people are getting sick of seeing it. I still think it’s relative to my brand entirely; it wasn’t just a seasonal thing.

B: Why do you like designing clothes for the female form?

E: That’s just the name of the game.

B: You would never venture into menswear?

E: No because I think you can have more fun with girl’s clothes.

B: Are there any designers you look up to?

E: Obviously Nicolas Ghesquière and Alexander McQueen, all those heavy hitters. I like Jeremy Scott, he’s got some balls.

B : My last question…are you planning on wearing a mask for the upcoming show ?

E : Possibly. Possibly a helmet. Right on.

Eclair, known to many of you as Eon Sinclair of Bedouin Soundclash, will be of the the DJs at Bon Fiyah next week. His seemingly never-ending success and mad skills put him up there among our Canadian stars. Read the 20Qs, fill that water gun that’s been in your parent’s garage for years and get ready to chill with Eclair.

1. What is your dream of happiness?
A big plate of pepper-pot with fresh baked homemade bread, white rice, and a nice garden salad accompanied by a glass of Peardrax on ice and homemade peppersauce to sprinkle on top

2. Blonde or Brunette?
Brunette (no offense AVF), but I’m not known to discriminate

3. What Is the quality you like most in a woman?
Honesty

4. What do you fear most?
Being completely useless

5. 808s or 909s?
404’s, my favorite sampler

6. What’s your biggest regret?
Not learning a bunch of other languages when I was a kid, it’s supposedly way easier then

7. What’s your fave bar or club in the world?
“Wild At Heart” in Berlin, they let you smash things and smash them with you

8. What’s the one thing you can’t live without?
Family (and I consider good friends family)

9. What are the 3 musicians dead or alive you’d like to see perform?
Sam Cooke, Jimi Hendrix, Sun Ra

10. What is your favorite decade in music?
1960’s

11. If you had to choose, would you rather go blind of deaf and why?
Hopefully neither, but I guess blind because hearing people gives you a better sense of who they are than what they look like, and music would still matter to me

12. How old is too old?
My 100 year old great-grandma didn’t think she was old last time I got to see her, so no such thing

13. Where did you see yourself in 15 years?
In a solid spot with a good family and in a studio behind a desk somewhere

14. Who’s your hero?
My parents

15. What’s your favourite colour?
Purple, that shit is royalty

16. What song could you live without ever hearing again?
“Grace Kelly” by Mika

17. Metallica or Madonna?
Madonna, hard to dance to Metallica

18. What’s your most hated vice?
Laziness

19. Who is the most tragic figure in history?
Charlie Brown

20. What are the top three live shows you’ve seen in your life?
In no particular order: Basement Jaxx at V Fest, London 2007, A Tribe Called Quest at Kool Haus, 2006 and Machel Montano and friends for Fire Fete 2 at Kool Haus, 2005