The Festival started in 1991 out from “a small community of people who yearned to see film and video created by and about lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBT) people.” It is now Canada’s largest festival of it’s kind and in the top five world wide. Over 200 films and videos from Canada and around the world will be welcome to the over 35,000 who attend. In short, The Toronto Inside Out LGBT Film Festival has a reputation “as an international leader in the presentation of queer film.” This year, the Festival celebrates their theme of “Fearless, Shameless, Timeless” with films that have come from international film makers. There is so much to see, and do this year. My blog is merely the surface of what is available this year at the Festival.
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Opening Night Gala Screening

On Thursday May 17th “My Brother the Devil”(UK 2011 112 min) ushers in the first film of the festival. What better way to start the 2012 Festival, with “an adrenaline-fuelled urban tale that burns with vision and passion.” Director Sally El Hosaini brings to life the story of two brothers who are intertwined in the Gang Culture of East London. The love between two brothers who must find themselves and their own way in life is a fast paced coming of age story. This is on Thursday May 17th, at 8PM, the opening night of the festival at Tiff Bell Light Box CINEMA 1, 350 King Street West (corner of John Street).
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Opening Night Gala Party

DJ Shane Percy famous from such events as CandyBar, Future Disco, the “smash hit gay night Pop Machine.” He will be joined by Yura of Viva Cabaret. Yura bring his performance from years of international acclaim. Their performances will be the kick off celebrations to all the events as they unfold over the many days of the festival. This event will be held at OCAD Great Hall, 100 McCaul street. To attend the party, it’s $10 entrance fee, or $8 if you are a member. It’s freewith your Opening Gala screening and party ticket.

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The Womens Spotlight

The Inside Out festival is celebrating lesbian-themed films. Cloudburst tells a “Thelma and Lousise” styled tale of Stella and Dot. The are played by Acclaimed actresses Olympia Dukakis and Brenda Fricker. The couple have lived together for 31 years, in Maine. When Dot is injured and is placed in a nursing home, her mate Stella free’s her partner, where they take a ride up to Nova Scotia, where they can be legally married. Thom Fitzgerald brings “earthy humour, touching moments and ravishing landscapes.” It will be shown on Friday May 25th at the TIFF BELL LIGHTBOX CINEMA 1.

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Women’s Spotlight Reception

On Friday May 25 from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. the Toronto Inside Out Film Fesatival, will welcome guests to raise a glass to all the fabulous women in filmmaking and in our community. With the amount of Women centred films in this years festival, it is certainly going to be the event you need to attend. It will be held at Urbanspace Gallery, 401 Richmond Street West, Suite 117.
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“Lady Shorts”

This series, is four installations, numbered 1 through 4. Each has four films. “Lady Shorts 3″ looks to be the best one to check out. The first film in this installation, is simply entitled “Cross Your Fingers” Manicurist Su-Yeon encounters Maya, a punk girl at her salon in Brixton, South London. Su-Yeon who is a good Catholic girl, is forced to confront her new feelings and desires. ““Next Door (NEBENAN)” is a German film about lesbian’s sharing a flat and the secret’s that can’t be kept. The third film, “Out of Bounds” tells the tale of two lesbians, Rose and Samantha desiring to move in together. The catch, is that only one of them is out. Rose has a very conservative mother. The final film in the series, comes from Spain entitled “Uniformed ” Margaret is a young girl who hears her own voice when she makes an announcement. Despite the constant messaging of “how to fulfill society’s gender roles” she shows she is not afraid to break the mold.”

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“Bye Bye Blondie”

The film, will be presented at the Closing Gala on Sunday May 27, 7:30PM | TBLB CINEMA 1. It comes to us from France and is the North American Premier of the film. Director Virginie Despentes takes on the tale of “two women struggling to revive their relationship after years of separation and change.” The wonder or possibility of trying to recapture their first love, is accentuated by the compelling performances of Béatrice Dalle (Gloria) and Emmanuelle Béart(Frances) Gloria, a 40 year old drifter, receives and invitation to come to Paris, at Frances’s beckoning. What transpires is a look at the genesis of their relationship and how it started in 1984. It is juxtaposed to what happens when middle age and the pursuit of youth combine.

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Closing Night Gala Party

What better way to end the festival than with Toronto’s favourite Cat.DJ Cozmic Cat will be spinning at Hotel Ocho, 195 Spadina Ave, starting at 10 PM. For those of you who have not been to Cherry Bomb, or heard her spin at various locations through the city, your ears will thank you. She is known internationally and has worked with the worlds best DJ’s and performers. She brings a “live wire energy” when she spins and it’s obvious she is passionate about her work. Tickets: $10 General Public/$8 MembersFree with your Closing Gala screening and party ticket.
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Where to get Tickets

They offer 3 easy ways to purchase tickets. They are currently available for sale. You can click them Online By Phone: 416.599.TIFF (8433)Toll free: 1.888.599.8433 The lines are open 10am to 7pm daily. In Person: 10am to 10pm daily TIFF Bell Lightbox, Reitman Square, 350 King Street West (at John Street)All tickets include HST with a “$1.00 per ticket (or pass purchase), to a maximum of $10.00 per ORDER.” This applied to all online and telephone ticket purchases. A membership will let you move to the front of the line, click here to purchase your membership online. The box office and all screening venues are wheelchair accessible.

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words by shona
Follow me on Twitter for Festival Highlights and Updates @Shona__Fraser

Volunteer to be the DW next time you and your crew heads out to party. According to Urban Dictionary, a Designated Walker or DW makes sure everyone gets put in a cab, safely home.

We re-worked this concept for 2012 . You are The Virgin, not just the DW. In exchange for being The Virgin for your crew, part of the deal is that the favour will be returned. You will be able to return to your normal non-Virgin self the next time you head out to hit the clubs. Someone else in the group gets to be The Virgin AKA the DW and so on. Respect is earned if you also see the need to keep bad camera angles and Twit Pics separate. Especially if someone is having “the worst night of their life .. EVER.” The Virgin, can be your best pal.

As The Virgin you can still get away with saying outrageous drink names as much as your crew when they are placing their orders. You can say “I will have Safe Sex on the Beach” and still ask “Does anyone want to take my cherry?” while holding up the cherry served with the drink. Bonus points for posing with a total straight face. Put the word virgin in front of any drink. How about a Virgin Mojito or a Virgin Strawberry Margarita . Saying, “Its a Bloody Shame that I am not drinking” still gets you a vegetable juice based drink, complete with celery stick. You can still add all the hot sauce you like.

The Virgin either does not drink at all, or maybe one or two  as you have to get everyone’s drunk ass’s home. You can be the willing victim of a Body Shot . Who doesn’t like the idea of their bodies being vessels for alcohol consumption? Here’s a new and easy way to lay down and take it. Sugar sprinkled on the neck, to then be licked off for a vodka shot sucked out of the navel WITH a lemon wedge taken from the mouth. Here’s the best video i could find about how to take this body shot. Mmmmmmm …. Sexy….

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To no longer be The Virgin, the next time your crew goes out, someone else takes a turn. Since you lost out on a night drinking, you might as well make up for lost time.

It started out as just being an regular Orgasm.
This drink commonly known as “being made on your B.A.C.K.”, with Bailey’s, Amaretto, half and half Cream and Kahlua. A “Screaming Orgasm” is a layered drink with five delights : Vodka, Amaretto, Triple Sec, White Creme de Cacao, and Light Cream. Apparently, the original needed an extra kick. Or, go all out and order a “Bald Pussy” This is a vodka based long drink served in a high ball glass WITH : melon liqueur, lime vodka, Absolut® vodka, triple sec, blueberry schnapps and splashes of lime juice and 7-Up® soda. The Blow Job shot is topped with whipped cream as high as you like it. This shot involves a liptease and hands behind your back. You then lean over and lift up to swallow the shot in one gulp. Here’s a video that shows how to properly make it and take it.
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The “May 24″ coming up in just a few weeks. This is Canada’s first party weekend of the year. Getting tipsy is usually part of the party plan, with little exception. I mean, the silly laughter that never ends, the ability to dance better, holding your cup of brew or beverage just so. To feel way more confident to flirt and have fun. To flip it around, and be The Virgin can be hilarious. Take it from someone who has been The Virgin on more than one occasion. Knowing you have your crew’s back is totally worth it, as next time, they have yours. Just think of yourself as the Designated Driver with legs. The contact high from being The Virgin AKA the DW can be quite profound.

words by shona

Pride 2012 Pinterest by Cee

Cee tells me “there are some serious items and looks trending this spring and summer that are so perfect for Gay Xmas.” Here are her tips. “Pastels, with mint jeans with a sweet soft pink button up, light purple loafers and a soft yellow bag. whats best about this look? its totally unisex and it makes you look like a delicious sundae. Neons brighter than bright! nothing says look @ me like a fluorescent get up! If the colours are a bit too much for you, theres always all white everything with colorful accents- of course this is a tough one to keep pristine if you plan on romping on the grass in a beer garden print. the busier, the better & if you cant go to the extremes, just go for COLOUR all the way. the more shocking the better. never before has all rainbow everything been oh so chic! SOme of the other things to look out for: skulls (yes, they’re back), 90s looks, ombre (graduated color)- especially for hair!” Her whimsical sense of style is available in her new jewelry line. She calls it the “Food Fight Line” Its avaiable at Pretty Freedom 165 Augusta in Kensington Market. You can follow her on Twitter @theartofwor

Jewlz the Barber

This talented Montreal expat made a stamp in that fair city in hair designs and styles. The LGBT Community “benefitted from her professionalism and skills for several years.” She says she She would like to showcase her “premium grooming service” to the GTA. She is offering $10 cut and $15 designs until the end of May 2012. Jewlz says “I would love to target more the women of the LGBT community.” Her facebook page shows all her designs, and her various offers. Right now, she is hoping to get two women to “donate their crowns.” If you do, the cut is on her, as she is always coming up with new ideas. You can find her at DSM Salon 3 Irwin. Follow her on Twitter @JewlzTheBarber

Gemini Tees

The lead picture of this blog is a tshirt design done by none other than Tanitia Munroe. She started Gemini Tees in 2009, and grew it to a company that has a global audience for promotional products such as web design, logo creation, and branding needs. The strength of her abilities comes from “ten years managing branding and signage for companies such as Red Stripe and Guinness.”

Its her “trendy LGBT t shirt designs with fresh concepts” that have had Queer Torontonians take notice. She can do an order of one tshirt, starting at $35. Her Facebook has a wide variety of her styles and her ideas seem endless. Her fylers, website designs are there as well and are worth MORE than a peek. Follow her on Twitter @GeminiDesignz

Dyke March Toronto

If you think that you may have missed a deadline to be part of this year’s Dyke March, think again. They are still actively looking for volunteers. I spoke with Laura, and she told me they still “need marshalls, banner carriers, photographers/videographers and event coordinators.” No experience is required and they are “happy to provide mentorship for those looking to develop and exercise their skills.” They still need people to help “spread the word, whether it be online, through postering, or in person at events”. You can email this address to get involved: dykemarchto@gmail.com The mission statement for the 2012 March is quite clear. My favourite line? “We are here to be out and proud, to take a stand and revel in queer space, to disrupt, to defy, and to make a riot of a good time.”

The history of the Dyke March from years gone by, and the celebration of “queer women and dyke-identified people” will be on in full force, this year as much as any. They have a few events coming up for you to meet up with fellow Dykes such as yourself. Their Annual Town Hall Meeting for community input for the 2012 March is on May 1 at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre from 7:00-9:00pm. They are also organizing a Dyke contingent to represent at SlutWalk 2012 on May 26. You can follow them on Twitter @DykeMarchTO and their Word Press: Dyke March Toronto

words by shona

From Left to Right: Brian Oblivion, Nathan Aguilar, Gabriel Rodriquez, Madeline Follin

If I can remember the Poutini’s orders correctly, Gabriel had the smoked meat, Nathan had the bacon, and the duo shared the maraschino cherry. I mean, the cigarette. I mean, the small regular.

Outside my reservations of speaking on camera, interviewing Cults was as close to the life of Barbara Walters I ever thought one could get. Sure, it took a solo head count down a bottle of grigio, followed by an hour of pacing and scribbling outside the margin of a Moleskin, and a meltdown on Gorevale to prepare, but no one got hurt, so let’s move on.

Not only did the majority of the band batman the second they arrived at the Gladstone (a publicist’s nightmare), but Cults traded in their handbags for whisky at the door and were pretty enthusiastic about bird nests, mobiles, cigarettes, poutine, talking to strangers, disrupting hotel guests, bathroom breaks, hugs, etc.

Brow furrowing though, Brian and Madeline are a dynamic most worthy of additional comment – despite Nathan’s approval of my inclusive approach to interviewing – they are WAY fascinating comme deux. Moments with them that might never leave my head: a) endlessly whispering to one another all night long and b) sitting adjacent to their conversation and seeing the look in Brian’s eyes as Madeline’s laughter filled the hotel’s entire fourth floor. Easy. Bake. Oven.

If it weren’t for the fact that I knew Gabriel didn’t drum for the band (because they were in a big fight with the drummer and left him at home for the night), at first I thought Gabriel was crazy enough to be a drummer. Instead of crazy though, he turned out to be really fun! One of those fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants kinda dudes. The one who’s always down for whatever but still totally capable of killing someone if you needed him to. You know, the guy who makes you laugh a lot but you’re scared to be alone in a room with (in a good way). That’s Gabriel. He’s also officially now competing for the ‘best hair’ award. Go Gabriel!

Personalities aside, “Go Outside” is a great single, and I think as far as throwback Motor City tunes that meet feminism and hit you like malt liquor and cocaine go, Cults owns the genre. I call it Shoegazer Bubblemint in E Flat, you call it Hipster, Snax calls it lame. Cults 7″ is still music that’s selling records and constantly under the fingernails of youth around the world. No matter how you look at it. Whatever happened to ‘don’t hate the player, hate the game’ anyway?

Sure, the band wouldn’t be where they are today if it weren’t for cliché dreams art school and the internet, or because somehow California still plays the coolest place on earth in every blockbuster film. But who cares? It’s Cults! They brought bandcamp to life!

Regardless, there’s a lot less irony associated with this band than I think a lot of people would like to admit. Quirky names aside, The Tipping Point sat on their bed stands for years and I bet Silicon Valley references always fly when in-house inspiration bursts. They’re just another great band in America making friends along the way. The music is good. The timing is right. The people are legit. What more do you want? Opie to end it with the porn star? Not going to happen – Jax would never let that happen.

All photography ©Courtney Lee Photography 2011

WORDS BY KATHERINE ALICIA SNACK

Stud Magazine

This magazine was started to provide information and support for “non-gender conforming females.” Being a Stud isn’t about sexuality, but “gender performance.” Education is an important topic for the ‘zine. Studs often don’t find the same opportunities as other people, as their gender expression usually isn’t well received. The site provides youth info about how to best get from high school into post secondary education and beyond.

There are a variety of other topics. My favourite is the Image Gallery, where you see pictures of Handsome Studs, and Fine Femmes. Oh, so hot. Also, check out the the health and artistry sections as they deliver info in a very sexy way.

The official Launch Party is happening Sunday July 3, 2011. $10 for the first 100 tickets with $15 after. Strongly suggested to get the tix as soon as possible, as this could be a sell out, and missing this would be a disappointment. There maybe $15 tix at the door, but if you really want to go, get them now. The dress code is “Clean fitted and fly.” Expect to hear awesome sounds from 5Star* DJ Mary Mac* As well, Home grown T.O talent Dey, dope vocal artist Mo with host Alana Lowe. The event takes place on July 3rd starting at 10:00pm going to 02:00 am. It will be held at the NSC Gallery 5 Brock ave (Queen st West & Brock) Its 19+ ID REQUIRED.

Fruit Loopz Youth Stage

This is a returning event for youth under the broad spectrum of LGBTQ. It is the home base celebrating the community of queer and trans youth. SOY, or -Supporting Our Youth- partners with Pride Toronto. Many artists, singers and spoken word performers illustrate through their mediums of choice how it is to be who they are in this day and age. Join them on Saturday, July 2 · 1:00pm – 10:00pm at Buddies In Bad Times Theatre, Alexander Parkette, 12 Alexander Street

The Sherbourne Health Centre is the supporting organisation. The services that they provide year round include a Trans Person group discussion, the “It gets Better” campaign and “Youth Speak OUT” If you are looking to meet up with fellow Queerios for the Dyke March, Trans March or the Big Parade, check this out

The Flying Beaver Pubaret

This new style of pub at 488 Parliament Street isn’t just a place to go out and get a bite to eat and drink ale. Shows feature hot local talent to the world famous. Everything from Comedy to Dinner and Show events. So, as the owner Maggie Cassella says “Its a Pub its a Cabaret, its a Pubaret!” Two new chefs bring a menu to please any picky palate. This is the perfect place for Sunday Brunch before that long wait on Yonge Street for the Parade to Start.

Pride at the Flying Beaver starts on Thursday June 30th with Match Fever. Its $10 to get in. It is both a Youth 19 + AND a Plus 40 event. Translation? There will be more than one round! Last time they held this event, there were three rounds. This version of “The Dating Game” features “little eager beavers deliver(ing) your beavergrams to anyone with whom you might want to build a dam!” Starts at 7:00 pm and onwards to close. On Sunday, it ends with the ALTERNAQUEER after party. DJs MKW, Michael Venus, and Triple X – No Cover. Starts at 10pm. Here is the complete list of all their Pride events.

Switch Porn Party

At this awesome venue, Oasis Aqualonge. you will find a great place to get laid, or at least, watch other people doing just that. Their last one was in April, and more are to come (pun intended…) The SWITCH! crowd is unique from other play parties in that it INCLUDES cisgendered men, transmen and everyone in between. Carrie Gray of Aslan Leather states “no gender police..just a whole lot of kinky queer fun!”

There will be a live porn shoot w DrewDeVeaux and Lily Cade, and Dj Sasha Van Bon Bon spins the tunes. 2500 sq ft of luxury play space complete with dungeon, pool (thats right, I said pool) and lots of places to “watch, play and fuck.” Tix are $25 adv, and $30 at the door. Here are the deets to how to get them You can find it at 231 Mutual Street, half a block or so from Church and Carlton. The event runs from 9 pm til 3 am. The poster says otherwise, I guess Carrie was just being a bit ambitious! A party of this size is just crazy.

Have a Gay Old Time

As one who has done more than a few Pride festivals, let me fill you in one a few words of advice. There is nothing worse than the “Pride Hangover.” It’s a combination of sun stroke, not drinking enough water and drinking WAY too much beer. Eat a bowl of Pho. before boozin it up instead of scarfing down street meat when that drunken urge hits you to eat something. Sunscreen, while yes can be sticky, really -IS- a necessity. A hat doesn’t need to be dorky, but its best to keep something on your head. Drink LOTS of water and dont feel a bit of shame to dump water on your head to keep you cool. This is especially important if you are heading to the never ending Beer Tent on Church Street. Fellow Queerios, have a safe and fun time. HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE!!!!

words by shona

On the other hand men’s underwear have taken a sharp turn thanks to the efforts of Andrew Christian and his built in penis underwear . Check out these, uh, flattering briefs.

If embellishing underwear isn’t your thing or it’s too early on to figure out a gift that doesn’t scream, “Look at me! Notice me! Marry me!” the homemade meal for two is my personal favorite. Not only does it give reason to splurge on lobster, tenderloin, and oysters but it’s cheaper than a night out and cozier too. For Valentine’s I’ve got your basics covered with these two options: A) A sexy brunch in bed preferably served in your skivvies or B) Romantic candlelit dinner on the couch. There’s no need to be too formal or you’ll just end up run ragged with the details. The following menus are perfect for most any occasion where you want to make an impression, not just Valentine’s.

BRUNCH

Brunch is one of my favorite meals because it’s so frivolous. You can eat food from any set “meal category” sweet or savory breakfast, a sandwich, whatever. Valentine’s is a time for indulgence, here’s a menu that manages to satisfy cravings for both sweet and salty. The french toast is insane and if you don’t feel like making caramel sauce it goes perfectly well with both maple syrup and melted chocolate. Make a big pot of coffee or tea, throw a couple flowers or hershy’s kisses on the tray and prepare to be worshiped.

Brunch in Bed Menu

Freshly Squeezed Orange or Grapefruit Juice

French Toast with Salted Caramel Sauce and Creme Fraiche

Brown Sugar Glazed Bacon

Scrambled Eggs/ Eggs Sunnyside Up

DINNER

If you’re going to make a fancy dinner make it rich, rich rich. If you save your pennies for one showstopping ingredient it’s easy to use cheaper staple items to make a spectacular meal. I urge you to try your best to find organic, fairly raised meat and seafood products if not for your health and the environment but for the flavor. The potato risotto included is so delicious and so much easier than the traditional rice-based risotto. The point of this menu is to curl up with a big bottle of cabernet sauvignon and eat together comfortably.

Night In Dinner Menu

Green Salad

Pepper- Crusted Duck Breast/Steak with Stout Pan Sauce

Potato Risotto

Stemaed Green Beans/ Asparagus

Strawberries and chocolate- easy

If all else fails, order a platter of sushi, and pick up some Sapporo and Sake. Sake bombs and sushi all round

By: Kimberley Cuachon-Haugh

I love this column for the reason that I am able to share with all of you the ridiculous bullshit that I encounter on a daily basis here in Hampton Roads, Virginia.  As disconnected as the region is where all the cities strive for nothing more than being individual from the other, it clearly mirrors the majority of the people in the area that lack the synapse to prevent them from acting like such dumb asses.

Lend your ear if you will to this crap.  My husband and I headed to Virginia Beach Town Center, about 20 minutes away from home.  Running late for the 8 p.m. comedy show that we were invited to by Quincy Carr himself, we were turned away at the door at 8:10 p.m. due to “lack of attendance”.  Yes, let me paraphrase, we were not let into the comedy club because the turnout was weak.  After my husband said, “But we’re here to spend money on food and drinks” they still refused to let us in.  While trying to make sense of all that was going on—I still can’t fucking understand it—I managed to divulge that I was writing about the evening’s show.  Due to the manager’s lack of education and perhaps reading ability, he wouldn’t let us walk through the door.

Allow me to paint the picture for you.  The bar was completely empty, heck, the servers were drinking and hanging out.  It was d-e-a-d and they still refused our business.  The obese manager would rather continue trying to get his underage waitress drunk in order to bone her (hopefully) by the end of the night.  In order to defend himself, the manager stated that they have been seating for the past hour and a half.  My question to that: Who the hell were they seating?  Did I mention that The Funny Bone has a policy that all attendees must call to make reservations ahead of time (for which we did)?

The more I thought about it, the more ridiculous the manager’s reasoning sounded.  We were not allowed in because the computers were closed down and we had to be issued a ticket, but yet we had complimentary tickets from the comedian himself and that would not be accepted because the theater is not full because hardly anyone came out for the show.  Are you with me?  Does this sound ridiculous?

What floors me is that people are still being left in awe as they continue to ask the questions such as:  Why does no one know anything about Hampton Roads?  Why is this area not striving?  Why are we not evolving into the competitive market that we should be?  Let me answer those questions in three words: Country bumpkin mentality.  There’s no sense of urgency, there’s no sense of surpassing expectations, there’s no sense of sense.  As a girl living in the US for the first time ever, I pray to God, Buddha, and anyone else who may be up there that Americans cannot be this fuckin’ stupid?  Right?  What’s scary is that the largest naval base in the world is located here.  Great, dumb fucks with guns, “America the great”?

Canada Helps

Canada Helps is an online Canadian charity that  “allows charities to accept donations over the Internet.”   Gift cards can be purchased to be sent via email, or you can print them yourself, ready for gift giving.  You buy the card, and the person who gets it, chooses who they give it too.  This makes Secret Santa gift giving a breeze. Everyone can get in on it, and see what different charities people end up supporting.   This also works for  awkward gifting. Perfect for the  distant cousin that you have never met, and will be popping by  for Christmas dinner.

Daily Bread Food Bank

A great example is the Daily Bread Food Bank. Being hungry is never pleasant, especially at this time of year. They are also always looking for  dedicated volunteers.

CHUM Christmas Wish

CHUM Christmas Wish drive is in it’s 42nd year. Here’s the scoop. “Donations in the form of cash, cheque, and new unwrapped toys for newborns to children 18 years of age will be accepted at most RBC branches across the GTA, our home at 299 Queen St. W., and our new Wish headquarters located in Mississauga at 1366 Blundell Rd.”

Events around the city also welcome you to give to their  drive. The Cheval Bar is holding their own Charity Drive on Saturday December 11th and Saturday Decenber  18th 2010. Bringing in a new unwrapped toy will win you free entry to “Just Because We Love Our Heels – Holiday Edition.”   You get to give to a child, AND dance the night away.

Sistering

Here at PinkMafia, we are supporting  Sistering. This is  “a women’s agency serving homeless, marginalized and low-income women in Toronto.” In short, they struggle with providing basic necessities of being a woman.  Imagine not having the funds to  buy pads, tampons, make up, shampoo, or conditioner.

A  full list of needed items is on our website. And dudes, you can help out as well. Laundry soap and tokens are always needed.  Donations can be dropped off at the PinkMafia Lair, at 600 Bay Street Suite 403  until Monday December 13th 2010. Any donation big or small counts. We will take any toiletries you can spare.

Tis the season to be jolly, and thankful that you have what you do. Giving to charity is never out of style and you literally will be making some one else’s day.

words by shona

By: Kim Cuachon-Haugh

Last week I went in for my six-month dental cleaning.  Now, I have been to this dentist before but yet again they had me fill out the new patient forms just as I did six months ago.  And so I succumbed to the tedious forms, “No I have not been diagnosed with HIV; No I do not suffer from any respiratory difficulties….”

After all that nonsense I was sat in the dental chair, enter the dentist and he said, “Oh, I remember you, you’re that Canadian.”  That Canadian?  Really?  I quickly ran through the latest Canadian news I caught upon and I don’t remember my name or face being associated with anything illegal or humiliating.  And then I realized that maybe I was his only Canadian patient.  I felt kind of special right then and there even when he went on and on about the CFL which I could care less about, just like most Canadians—unless you live in the Prairies.

With the spit sucker in my left cheek he jumped right into the Raptors and how this NBA team is nowhere near the other teams in the league because of its rookie players.  I really wanted to bow this shit out of the water and totally debunk this, I love Chris Bosh!  But I had heavy suction happening.

A few days ago I was the floor manager for a pilot being shot in Arlington and as is customary working on set with new people you intro yourself and that brief relationship grows with every re-take.  And so I went on with my I am a Canadian spiel.  I instantaneously became a point of interest to everyone on set.  One of the camera guys came up to me in between a take to ask me where in Canada I was from and tried to regurgitate as much info about Canada as he could.  While he thought Toronto was on the west coast, he certainly receives an A for effort.

Living in Canada I repeatedly heard about how ignorant Americans can be, but I guess over the last week or so I experienced it firsthand.  A dentist, a man in media, these people are not your average country bumpkins, how do they not know about us?  It’s a shame that a couple of people can ruin it for many but quite frankly one of the only reasons why Canada has any resonance here in America is because of the Olympics and that the Winter Games were held in Vancouver.  I can’t tell you how many people tell me how much they want to visit British Columbia, many of which cannot even remember the name Vancouver or British Columbia, they just call it “The place where the last Olympics were held.”

Geez, okay.  This is what I have to deal with.  While I certainly enjoy the attention of being “that Canadian” or time and again “the Canadian” it’s quite pathetic that we Canadians lack a presence here.  The only real existence that has any ounce of meaning is the fact that you can pick up a case of Molson Canadian at any 7 Eleven, something I admit is kind of cool.

Melissa went to an arts elementary school and high school then went to Concordia University to which she got her BFA in Photography. “Out Of Our Minds” is not only an album it is also a film and a graphic novel. When I asked Melissa as to why she decided to make the album multi-media based she stressed how important it is for her to “grow as an artist” and that it was about time she got back to her “roots” of visual arts after being a “full-time rock musician“. “ Over the years technology has been growing so much that I was easily able to intertwine various arts for the album.”

As much as I was excited (nervous) to interview Melissa I got even more anxious in knowing how broad her talents range from. She worked with Ric Ocasek (former “Cars” front man), Rufus Wainwright and had many of her photos were published in magazines such as Bust and Nylon. For OOOM she had Chris Goss produce the song “22 Below” and Glen Danzig sing with her on the track “Fathers Grave”. I asked her what it was like working with them and she responded in the most down to earth manner. Apparently Chris Goss produced half of her first record while Jordon Zadorozny produced the other half. She told me how Glen Danzig (former Misfits vocalist) was her all time child hood hero when she was sixteen. She gushed at how shy she was upon first meeting him and that she never had collaborated with someone like him before. She sent him a personal letter telling him what he meant to her as an artist and how when she was in Hole she wore a Danzig sweatband at every show. The letter obviously paid off. Melissa went on to say that the album was “a journey on how amazing people are”. She hopes to at some point have a “mini danzig..a mythical warrior” inside her.

While listening to OOOM there is no denying that it has dream like images. Melissa told me that dreams have always had a big impact on her during the creative process and partly why she started playing bass, “dreams guide me thru my music”. This record she was inspired by aliens, 3D sounds, dreamscapes, psychedelica and time-travel. Her music is a way on how to live her life, “a quest thru life in a creative jungle”.  Along with her belief of life after death and haunting ghosts fading in the background Melissa invites us to travel OUT OF OUR MINDS.

Another exciting thing about Auf De Maur’s tour is that its worldwide. She’s excited to use Canada as a launching pad for the tour especially since she hasn’t played in Canada for a while and this is her chance to explore its greatness another time. She’s also immensely excited to travel to Poland/Prague because it will be her first time there. She stressed that every city she gets to bring her art to is a pleasure.

My last question for her was one I always thought about as an artist myself. I asked her what piece of advice she would have given herself about the industry before getting into it. As a true artist would say she said “keep everything at hands reach. Be as creative as possible. Don’t treat it as a business. Do it for the honour of respecting music”. She told me that she never really thought music would actually pay her bills so she feels very lucky whilst still living a simple-modest life. She’s most definitely a true artist. Check her stuff out at: xmadmx.com/

By: Kimberley Cuachon-Haugh

What is making front page news is the policy that is banning teens from the only Norfolk mall after 5 p.m.  To put things in perspective, it would be as if anyone younger than 18 not being allowed to shop at the Eaton Center—I know.

The ban, which has been in effect for a year now permits minors to shop after the curfew time only while accompanied with someone 21 or older.  Steep rules indeed, but this isn’t because we live in the Bible Belt, child, but due to the “number of unsupervised teens congregating in the evenings.”  Isn’t this in violation of the First Amendment “Freedom of religion, speech, the press, ASSEMBLY, and petition”?  I guess it doesn’t apply to those who can’t vote.

MacArthur Center, Downtown Norfolk

An overall consensus reports that there has been a decline in shoplifting but it’s a mixed bag when it comes to sales—the GM is saying sales are up while some retailers are saying nay.  Sorry Forever 21, Aéropostale, Abercrombie and Fitch, Charlotte Russe and American Eagle, looks like the majority of your clientele will be MILFs and cougars for the most part now, or those who are desperately trying to hold onto their youth.  I really shouldn’t say that because as a 24-year-old, I love Forever 21.

I can see both sides of the coin, especially with my past retail experience—teens were a pain in the ass to deal with at times.  But let’s be honest, in a down economy where people are worried about their 401 K (RRSP in Canadian lingo), the dipping value of their homes, job security and lack of bonuses, the people who have the money to blow on a $150 “Hailey” cardigan from Abercrombie & Fitch are the same people who are stocking up on beauty products containing salicylic acid.

If these retailers who serve the teens to tweens oh so fashionable customers continue to report declines this mall, called MacArthur Mall will turn into another country bumpkin shopping center.  Then you’ll see the Mall Walkers Association develop with grandma leading the way and Tai Chi demos at noon.  There’s already such little incentive for anyone youthful to hang around downtown why take this away too?  If anything good is coming out of this, it is the persistent teen-picketing outside the mall that is truly bring all types of youth together for a common goal—praise to the First Amendment.

By Kimberley Cuachon-Haugh

Excessive wait times in ERs made front page news last weekend in The Virginian-Pilot outlining a new SOP Medicare is rolling out.  Living in the US now for a year, I am still baffled as to how healthcare works in this country—insurance (or lack thereof), co-pays, claims, reimbursements etc.  In fact, after my first physical that I had here I walked right out the door and the receptionist came running after me for my credit card.

With every American that I have dove into a conversation with thus far, the two topics of discussion that go hand-in-hand are: high taxes and “free” healthcare in Canada.  Whenever my husband jumps into the conversation, after I brag about how nice it is to not have to worry about whether or not your personal budget permits you to go to the walk-in, he emphasizes that healthcare, without question, is something that Canadians truly do pay for.  The average American is deducted 26–30% on their taxes, whereas Torontonians max out at 29% Federal tax and 11.6% on Provincial Tax, not to mention the 13% HST that everyone has to deal with.  When I use these stats I always get the “oh my God, how do people live?” question.  And to mess with whomever I’m speaking with even more, I throw in that we have a one-year maternity and paternity leave.

But getting back to the topic, when Obama passed the new healthcare policy a man-on-the-street type interview was done gathering comments from anyone who heard about the new bill.   A gentleman was inflamed and said that if he doesn’t care about taking care of himself, why should other people be forced to take care of him?  Laughingly I realized that he had a point.  I remember when the no-smoking ban was being passed Torontonians were cursing smokers who were voluntarily putting their lives at risk and were selfishly not only clogging their lungs, but hospitals, and in turn healthcare funds.  Americans want choice—they always do—and Canadians have it all but are growing more and more frustrated about the blanket mentality where everyone is being kept warm by the government, even though there are those who shouldn’t be.

Sad to say, health is just another business here in the United States, and because of that clinics are doing everything they can to keep you as their customer.  Flipping through local and regional newspapers and magazines here, I am astounded at the number of health related advertisements: OB/GYNs, general practices, and so on.  I do very much enjoy the over-the-top customer service that I receive each time: on-time appointments (that has never happened to me in Toronto), friendly-reminder calls to confirm appointments, after-hours answering services, heck, I even got invited to my gynecologist’s family gathering.

Looking at it now the philosophy is still the same whether or not you live in the US or Canada that in the long run, we’ll fuck you.  America: “We have great service, we’ll make your appointments as convenient as possible, we’ll even call you to see how it’s going, but if you don’t have the cash here’s all the paperwork to fill out, good luck to ya and move the hell on, brother.”  Canada: “Everything is free, however, if you want anything more than the basic you will have to pay out of your own pocket, we’re sorry about the 9-hour wait times in the ER, and are totally unbiased opinion on who should or shouldn’t get healthcare, so in the end if you don’t end up getting all that we have taxed you for social healthcare, you’re at a loss.”  And that’s how it rolls.  If I may leave you with something, there is a hospital here that allows you to look up wait times on the internet and pay $24.99 to hold a place in line at the ER.  Talk about the American dream.

With mid-term elections looming various issues are afloat demanding another go at bringing certain bills to the floor.  With that said, the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy is still up in the air.  It seems that the Senate has decided not to vote on it yet.  If you are not familiar with the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy it is to allow gay, lesbian and bisexual soldiers to serve openly.  Because the Republicans have blocked the vote what’s next is a study that the military has to conduct in order to bring forth the affects of this policy shift—therefore disclosing the number of homophobes in the military.

So this is making headline news here.  I buy into that because we are in a military area with three major bases one of which is the largest naval base in the world—and our troops need to know if they should pivot while standing at the urinal next time.  What is the issue here though?  Let’s discuss it a little bit while the war against terrorism is going on and while the bodies of NATO troops are being hauled off the floor thanks to our Taliban insurgents who are still trying to figure out whether or not they shot down the helicopter.  The gays want to be able to say that they’re gay—they’ve fought a long and hard battle, I understand that.  The straights may accept the gays, they may not—some argue that they don’t carry the label ‘straight’ wherever they go—I hear that.  But on the battlefield, does it really matter how you like to give it and receive it?  If straight men and women can openly banter about sex with the opposite sex why must gays, lesbians or bisexuals remain closed-lipped about their particular sexual appetite?

I say, let the gays go about in their ways.  It’s hypocritical for us, non-gays to accept them, take their decorating advices, fashion oui-oui’s and expect them to be hush.  There are greater problems at hand in the United States.  While we are at the point of recuperating billions of military dollars spent on Freedom Iraq, it is illogical to provide the financial attention on a study to determine what the effects of letting homosexuals out of the closet in the military will do.  Hello, they were already there, people have know all along, so what?  Does the United States military believe that recruitment will dip or that the army barracks décor will have a little pizzazz or that we won’t be as tough or that the Talibans will come after us harder because we are welcoming homosexuals?  Come on.

With today being September  11^th  I have been looking forward to  the American versus Muslim type  stories to rear.  And they have been—especially with the Mosque sorry, Muslim community center , in the midst at Ground Zero.  One article in particular that caught my eye was a story that broke from the Associated Press about the staging of “International Burn a Quaran Day”.  Rev. Terry Jones who spearheads an evangelical Christian church out of Gainesville, Florida plans to torch copies of the Islamic holy text today.  OK, I get it, he’s a little P.O.’d about what went down in New York and the shit that hit the fan afterwards.  The article stated that the government has “turned up the pressure” warning the anti-Muslim reverend that his bonfire “could endanger U.S. troops and Americans everywhere”. 

Let me blow my match out now.  If we’re a quaran blaze away from invasion, shouldn’t we be a little bit concerned?  Does the White House and the State Department really believe than whether or not we set these holy books on fire that it will diminish the Muslim terrorist desire to blow us off the face of the planet?  I think not—and this is coming from a peaceful Canadian.

I recently watched a documentary called Obsession which references the quaran throughout and all I have to say is: if the word-for-word bullshit in there is being followed through, our civilization as we know it—American or not—is fucked.

Let me pose this question?  What about the countless American flags that are being set on fire and then paraded through the streets, filmed, and then posted on the internet?  Hey, if I had testicles large enough I would open up an American flag store in Iraq—I’d probably turn a pretty good profit, and then have my head cut-off, but you can’t win them all.

I understand that we have left close to 50,000 American troops behind, and now Obama is looking to tread much lighter post “Operation Iraq Freedom” but already on Tuesday the first servicemen were killed.  I say, if the reverend wants to burn his quarans let him, it’s his prerogative.  Whether or not the government steps in, he’s going to do it anyway, it’s his right, and it’s his freedom.  The future of Americans and Muslims does not rest on a bonfire that some hick is going to light up.  It comes down to stopping the radical infiltration in the Western world.  If burning quarans grabs the attention of the government I say throw in an extra copy for me, because I sure as hell will not bow down to covering up for Allah.

Words by Kim Cuachon-Haugh

Page 29 of my program book

A recent minor league baseball game in Norfolk, led me to page 29 of the $5 dollar program book that I found on the floor.  This time I actually read through the collection of ads primarily to learn a smidge more about this wonderful city that I live in.  Back to page 29, which contained a half-page ad for an exclusively male salon called Knockouts.  How cleaver!  It indicated, a list of services to include: “haircuts, massage, coloring, manicure, pedicure, waxing, shoe shine, free frosty beverage, sports on TV.”  At the very top of the list was this: “attractive & professional stylists” and of course there was a case and point example of some blond-haired bimbo in the ad.  Okay, she may not be a bimbo, after all, she’s a Knockout girl; she cuts hair, right?

I can totally picture it now, Knockouts is the ultimate male escape.  It is testosterone driven where the penis and the brain are no longer required to work together.  The brain is being hit left, right, and center with ESPN, not to mention a pretty gnarly brain freeze from the “free frosty beverage” and the penis—well it’s probably saluting the navy veteran that conceptualized and owns the business (yes, which was indicated in the ad too).

Now, I’m not reaming these people out because I’m some hippy woman who refuses to wear a bra and wear make-up.  I love how my bustier makes my breast look and I think a little rouge never hurt anyone.  But is it really necessary to use “attractive stylists” as a selling point?  The concept is great on its own without having to feed into one’s pervy teenage fantasy of getting off on a pretty girl running her fingers through your hair.  It really is like soft porn on a Sunday.

While I’m sure the place doesn’t resemble anything near the Playboy mansion (this area just isn’t that classy) where the stylists have their sheers hanging from their g-string the picture that this ad paints in its 7 ½” by 5” space is pure Tigerism (complements of Tiger Woods).  How comfortable would you be if your man went into a place like this?  A place that grunts, “Look at the ass on her”?  Or “Look at them titties”?  Really, that is the right that men reserve coming into such an establishment.  The sad thing is, around these parts, we’re okay with it!  The ad is in a baseball program that is distributed to thousands—men, women, and kids (future dirty ol’ men and Knockout girls).  All I can say is if a man is desperate enough to buy into this crap because he hasn’t been more than a foot close to a real vagina, be sure to wipe the seatie sweetie for any potential bodily fluids.

1. What is your dream of happiness?
Helping others achieve their goals while making the most of my talent.
2. Blonde or Brunette?
Brunette
3. What is the quality you like most in a Woman?
Confident humility.
4. What do you fear most?
Failure
5. 808s or 909s?
808′s now, 909′s next
6. What’s your biggest regret?
Regrets don’t exist because mistakes drive you to do better things.
7. What’s your fav bar or club in the world?
Rise Afterhours in Boston
8. What’s the one thing you can’t live without?
Being able to fidget and do funny things with my fingers when I get excited.
9. What are the 3 musicians dead or alive you’d like to see perform?
Pink Floyd, Def Leppard, Beastie Boys
10. What is your favorite decade in music?
80s
11. If you had to choose, would you rather go blind or deaf and why?
I would rather go deaf because I would rather learn sheet music and have the ability to visually know what street I am walking down.
12. How old is too old?
Too old is when you realize you aren’t going to fit into those jeans.
13. Where do you see yourself in 15 years?
I’d like to be programming video games, or scoring movies.
14. Who’s your hero?
My Mom & Dad
15. What’s your favourite colour?
Purple
16. What song could you live without ever hearing again?
Barbie Girl
17. Metallica or Madonna?
Madonna
18. What’s your most hated vice?
Drifting off and procrastinating on Wikipedia
19. Who is the most tragic figure in history?
I’d probably say Jesus
20. What are the top three live shows you’ve seen in your life? –
Phish, Van Halen, Jay-Z

The last time I checked, I was a woman in 2010 considered as an equal to my phallic counterpart.  At least that’s what I thought until I was a subjected to a chauvinistic display that the people of Norfolk called a “great job mceeing”.

The event was to honor the over-achievers in the city’s hospitality industry at the Champions of Hospitality Rally.  The man, or should I say DOM an acronym for “dirty old man”, Pete Decker Jr., of the popular Decker Law Firm here in Norfolk, mceed the appreciation celebration while simultaneously setting women back 20 years.  He is a personality in this area—high-profile, rich, and recently graced the cover of Veer Magazine celebrating 50 years in law.  Decker, or Uncle Pete as he is known around these parts—the fact that people pride themselves with blood relation is beyond me—because of his reputation of being, blatantly said, a creepoid.  Decker, while presenting an award, posed the question to a woman, while undressing her with his eyes, asked, “Do you like rich old men, honey?”  And with a look of utter disgust she forced a smile and snatched her award.  I couldn’t help but swing my head from left to right to see whether or not I was the only one in disbelief!  It was a “I see it, but my ears don’t believe it” moment.  There was another woman who went up on stage—of course Decker was in groping position—and she shouted, “Don’t you dare touch me!”  This provided a wave of laughter, but I was still in utter shock.  Who is this guy?  With a few whispers to the women next to me they simply shrugged it off and said, “Oh, he’s just like that.”  What?  I thought to myself, this guy just isn’t drunk right now?  Pete Decker Jr. aka Uncle Pete aka DOM.

The next day my husband was caught in between some cock driven banter about the previous day’s festivities starring this Uncle Pete fellow.  His co-workers, one of whom has a teenage daughter, were falling over their over-grown bellies laughing about how funny Decker was and how hot the cheerleaders were.  In appropriate conversation for the work place wouldn’t you say?  And just plain wrong if you have a daughter.  I have to quote my husband here, “Honey, I was just embarrassed…no wonder there are women who just want to cut our balls off.”  Where am I?  I thought to myself.  All women should just walk around in thongs here because nobody seems to care about how hard women have worked to be treated equally, women included.  A female reporter at the local television station posted on her blog that, “Uncle Pete had us in stitches.”  Can you believe it?  A public figure here, who is supposedly the public’s arm to provide information and represent the questions that we cannot ask has condoned this disgusting behavior.

Mary Goodnight with James Bond, "Man with the Golden Gun"

At this point I am reminded of the most horrible Bond actor to date, Roger Moore.  Double O, in The Man with the Golden Gun, is lip-locked with Mary Goodnight—a female agent who follows James like a love-sick puppy—and then shoves her into a closet.  In the very same room he proceeds to comfort Andrea Anders, a woman seeking Bond’s help to kill her assassin boyfriend Scaramanga.  The next morning we see Goodnight, still in the closet, Bond opens it up.  She is all huffed up about her spending the night in the closet and he responds, “Oh, Goodnight, you’ll have your turn soon.”  This movie was released in 1974, now I am not defending the preposterous script writing but presenting this ridiculous dialogue that has not been edited or deleted because the movie is a classic.  Now I bet many men, like Pete Decker wish that times have not changed, but they have.  I’m not sure though if they have here, case in point the exalted Pete Decker Jr.  Why the city of Norfolk glorifies this gentlemen’s club on legs…where am I?

1. What is your dream of happiness?

Tyler: Traveling the world and making people happy through music. I have a little Bono in me (maybe to a lesser extent), but I definitely want to use music as a vehicle for positive change.
Cam: Good music, good weather, good people, good health.

2. Blonde or Brunette?

Tyler: I don’t discriminate (blonde).
Cam: Blonde

3. What is the quality you like most in a man?

Tyler: Honesty. Lying gets you nowhere.

4. What do you fear most?

Tyler: Getting sick…health is wealth.
Cam: Failure and centipedes

5. 808s or 909s?

Tyler: They both serve a purpose.
Cam: 808′s. Unfuckwithable!

6. What’s your biggest regret?

Tyler: Not sticking with martial arts. I’d be a fucking 9th degree black belt “fuck you matrix” warrior by now.

7. What’s your fav bar or club in the world?
Tyer: Circa…nawwwwwt! I like the Tropicana Bar at the Roosevelt in L.A. It’s awesomely obnoxious.
Cam: My house.

8. What’s the one thing you can’t live without?

Tyler: A Blackberry.
Cam: Music and the Internet.

9. What are the 3 musicians dead or alive you’d like to see perform?

Tyler: Jaco Pastorius, Michael Jackson, J.S. Bach.
Cam: James Brown, Old Dirty Bastard, and Ace of Bass.

10. What is your favorite decade in music?

Tyler: The 60′s. Wait…hopefully the 2010′s (is that how you say it)?
Cam: 90′s. That’s what I grew up on and it brings back some really good memories, especially 90′s hip-hop.

11. If you had to choose, would you rather go blind or deaf and why?

Tyler: I’d go blind. Seeing seems more selfish…music is what I do best in this world and it makes a lot of people happy so I may as well do that. Great tits feel as good as they look anyways.
Cam: I’d rather go deaf. Nowadays with technology you can do everything without your ears (even program music if you really know your shit). If your blind you can’t read or write which would cripple me. The only perk is that you get a cool dog but the cons outweigh the pros in my mind.

12. How old is too old?

Tyler: Dead.
Cam: Too old for what? There’s always something you can do even if it’s only eating mashed potatoes.

13. Where do you see yourself in 15 years?
Tyler: Acting in a Star Wars play on Broadway.
Cam: Happy. Doing fun shit. Singing the songs I like to sing.

14. Who’s your hero?

Tyler: Batman.
Cam: Jay Z for being at the top of his game at 40. Inspirational. Also the whole toy machine 90′s skate team, back when skating was badass!

15. What’s your favourite colour?

Tyler: Batman Black.
Cam: Black or sometimes white.

16. What song could you live without ever hearing again?

Tyler: There’s a time and place for almost everything.
Cam: Shit I don’t know.

17. Metallica or Madonna?

Tyler: “Master of puppets is pulling my strings!”
Cam: Madonna. She’s way hotter!

18. What’s your most hated vice?

Tyler: Smoking cigs. I’m quitting in 3 days. No bullshit.
Cam: Cigarettes.

19. Who is the most tragic figure in history?

Tyler: Mel Gibson in Braveheart. Death by horses? Come on!

Cam: To many to name, anyone with wasted talent.

20. What are the top three live shows you’ve seen in your life?

Tyler: The Roots @ Kolas. Rage Against The Machine @ Rock The Bells. Robert Randolph @ Lee’s Palace.
Cam: Rage Against The Machine. Wu Tang Clan. NOFX (it was my first one ever).

Wednesday June 16

If your weekend warrior status starts on a Wednesday, the Bovine Sex Cub is starting off the after hour splendor at 2AM on Wednesday with performances by Victim Party, The Decay, The Cavaliers and DIY it up. We can’t make any promises but there’s a good chance that Eagles of Death Metal are going to make an appearance after they hit Cherry Cola’s of course.

Thursday June 17

For a big night of electro-disco fun check out Junior Boys at The Social, “In the Morning” was the blitzed to the point of swaying  summer song for ’09 so be ready to hear even more body bashing beats (FYI, they are supposed to go on at 12:30AM, so this is technically NOT a 2-4 but still pretty dope). Toronto’s own TAPEDECKBROS will bet at El Mocambo. Let the ass shaking commence.

Friday June 18

Friday night is big jam night so should plan on hitting as many spots as you can. Duo Torro Torro are hitting up Gladstone Hotel Ballroom (3AM).

Dakota Tavern is featuring a “special guest” which in my books usually means something rad and too big too announce because it’ll screw up their much bigger show wink wink.  HUORATRON  will be at Wrongbar late night for the Last Gang showcase. Choosing your venue is just a matter of personal taste.

If there’s one piece of news that has blown my mind it’s ED effing LOVER at The Drake along with DJ Fase and 84.85. If you’re unfamiliar with Ed Lover, he is the king of 90′s hip hop (he hosted Yo! MTV Raps) and scroll down for his recent Youtube fame.

Wherever you end up going throughout the night, a good bet is to do last call at the Bovine, the guest hasn’t been listed as of yet but every year they have the best mix of well-mannered city (read: not morons from out of town or the dreaded suburbs) and local as well as bigger out of town artists co-existing/mingling in boozy bliss.

Saturday June 19

For final wrap up we’re giving you two pieces of advice: One: Don’t start too early, this is an endurance sport not a relay. Two: check out one of these two for guaranteed satisfaction.  Classixx (LA) + Hatchmatik at the Drake.

Bassilicious PARTY LIKE US RECORDS are throwing AC Slater, B. Rich, and Udachi all under one roof at The Social. It’s sure to be one of the biggest events of NXNE

If you make it til Tuesday without a 3 day hangover. Gold star.

Click on the image below for the downloadable version: